December 27-30, 2012 The last week of 2012…

     The day after Christmas, which was busy enough in itself, I rushed back to work where I discovered we had 8 staff members absent. We only total 15 staff in all, so for 8 to be out is HUGE! Of course, 4 of those were on planned vacations, one had asked for the day off the past Saturday, but 3 got unexpectedly sick. No matter what, it left us VERY short staffed! It was a hectic start to the workweek, especially when I didn’t feel like coming in either.  I needed to rest after the holiday too, but that’s the nature of the beast as someone has to be there to take care of the kiddos of those who don’t get a holiday break.  Unfortunately, the week didn’t get much better, as I never really caught up, continuing to fill in for sick staff members and just getting further and further behind in my usual job.  This is all in addition to stresses in my personal life concerning the future custody of my children, which ramped up this week too. It’s not something I mention often in the blog because it is such a personal matter, but I’ve been in mediation with my ex since the summer over what’s in the best future interests of our boys (since their dad’s job officially moved back to the states in July), and I can only hope and pray that God’s will be done regarding who they will live with and where in the very near future. For now, they are here with me and their dad on the same island, so I am thankful for that.  They do not have to suffer with being away from either parent, and my husband and I do not need to suffer either by being separated from them for long periods of time and over many, many miles.  We miss them during the 2 weeks a month they are at their dad’s house, but because the island is very small, we often get to catch up with them here or there at various community and school events, so we are not completely deprived of regular contact with them even during those 2 weeks.  At any rate, by Friday (when I had already scheduled to work a ½ day, so the boys and I could enjoy a few day up on Roi), my mind was full and my body was tired, ready for a break. The boys and I had been over in the school age classrooms for the morning, and as we headed back, I asked the kids to get on their bikes and head to dad’s to pick up a couple of things they had left over there and needed to pack for the trip.  I went to the office to finish up for the day. My oldest son came in and told me his brother’s bike had been hit, and the tire was bent in half.  Thank goodness it was still parked, and my son wasn’t on it, but this was the last straw for me.  I broke down; I admit it.  I didn’t know what to do. Now my son’s bike was useless, and we needed to get home, eat lunch, finish packing, and then head to the terminal to catch our flight. I didn’t have time or the energy to have to file a police report, etc…My overreaction and tears just confirmed to me how much I needed a break from my regular life.  So, here we are up on Roi, not doing much, but enjoying every minute of it.  We head back to Kwaj tomorrow in hopes of spending New Year’s Eve at the Fun Run event at midnight and settling back into our own beds. I don’t know what 2013 holds for my family, but I know God’s in charge. I hope it will start off less hectic than the last week of 2012, but if it’s doesn’t, I’ll deal with it as it comes.  It’s like my son said to me on the way home from my office after his brother’s bike had been hit, and he had seen my tears of frustration from a difficult week, “you know what my Sunday School teacher told us the other day? God will never give you more than you can handle.”  He’s right, but I have to say, sometimes it feels like He’s given me too much, and that’s when it’s time to take a deep breath, let go, and get away. Thank God for the wonderful people and island of Roi. I always feel welcome, loved, and genuinely cared for when we arrive, and I wish I could find a way to give back to them even a little of what they have given to my family over the years. For now, all I can give is my thanks and good wishes for a happy New Year, Roi Rats! J  

December 23-26, 2012 His grace is sufficient…

“For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?” Luke 23: 31

“The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.” Luke 24: 7

     Okay, the holidays took over, and I am just now getting around to writing about the last 2 chapters of the book of Luke I have been reading through this month.  The verse from chapter 23 is new to me and particularly fascinating. I consider myself a little bit of a wordsmith (or at least I’d like to be one) and definitely a language junkie. I enjoy writing, reading, and seeing what people can do with languages in terms of how they choose to use them and the insight one can gain from words and the pictures it’s possible to paint with language.  The picture of the green and dry trees really puts the world in perspective in an important way for me.  These words came from Jesus right before his crucifixion when all the people convinced Pilate and Herod to kill Jesus even through they didn’t believe He had done anything that deserved the death penalty.  Men, unfortunately, have not changed much since the days Jesus walked the earth. If anything, we’ve become worse.  As the trees go dry, as we continue to destroy the earth and each other, we move closer and closer to the day He will return and take home those who have chosen Him over the world.  That’s why Jesus had to die because God knew we would continue to behave in these horrific ways and only the blood of His son could cover our many, many sins and give us a chance to be with God in heaven someday. Only His grace is sufficient.  If each of us could extend that type of grace and mercy to those we encounter on a daily basis, showing them kindness even when they don’t deserve it, helping someone even when we know they will not appreciate it, loving and serving someone else just because it’s the right thing to do and it’s what Jesus would do, we may just make a meaningful impact on this suffering world and put a smile on God’s face.  That’s what Jesus did for us, extended God’s grace and mercy to us even as the people God created were murdering Him.  Grace, I couldn’t be where I am in the world today or have any sort of peace in life without it.  I don’t deserve it, but I sure am glad that God decided to extend it to me anyway. Thank you, Jesus, for making the ultimate sacrifice for the world.  Happy 2012^th Birthday!    

December 22, 2012- The one who serves…

“But you are not like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.” Luke 22: 26-27

     Jesus came to serve us. Isn’t that amazing?!?! He came as a servant to a group of sinful, obstinate, and often downright nasty group of people who worked very hard not to understand Him, but to shun him and disprove his purpose on Earth.  Of course, there were those, like the disciples, who did love Him very much and carried on His teachings after His death, but even from the 12, one disowned Jesus 3 times before His crucifixion, and the other was the one who betrayed him to the authorities that were to kill him.  They were not perfect either, just like the rest of us.  If we all viewed our role on this earth from the same perspective as Jesus, as a servant to others, can you imagine what a difference it would make?! The world is not here to serve us; other people were not put here to take care of our needs. We are here to serve God and others.  Interesting concept, right? Try it someday. Take a normal day in your life and consider how much of what you do is for you and how much is in service to someone else whether it is a family member, friend, co-worker, or complete stranger. Then, spend the next day focusing on increasing the amount of time you spend on someone else by adding in at least one thing you do out of a completely unselfish motive, just for another person or group who may or may not even know you’ve done something for them or even thank you for it. Just do it and see how it makes you feel, how it improves your outlook on life, how it “serves” you back in a positive way.  The one who serves in the end is greater….

December 21, 2012- Out of Poverty…

“I tell you the truth,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”  Luke 21: 3-4

     How many of us give to the church or to others in need when we don’t have anything extra to give?  I am very timid about leaving this island I have called home for over 15 years now because I know how expensive it will be for my family to move back and to find jobs that will provide for us in the “style” we are accustomed to here.  When we need something, we purchase it and pay off our debts almost immediately. We do this because we have that luxury out here, not having the bills that others in the states have with house payments, car payments, cell phone payments, cable payments, water, electricity and garbage bills, etc….We are very, very blessed to be on a military base where so much of that is simply provided by the government. And I am very, very thankful for that, but it does make me really consider the question above when I read about this poor widow who gave the last coins she had to God.  If I am honest, I would have to say my first thought when I have some extra money is to put it in savings for the future of my family, not to give it away or to even give it back to God.  I usually forget to bring my offering money to church even. Isn’t that terrible?!?! I do believe God honors most of my choices with the money I make and wants me to use my good judgment in what I do with what is ultimately His money, but in a way, it’s not putting my trust fully in God to provide what I need for the future.  And it’s not considering what He wants first.  When I was a college student living off the money my parents set aside for me in a trust fund, I had to speak with them concerning any additional expenses or things I wanted or needed outside of the usual tuition, food, and lodging payments. In other words, I had to ask them for permission and approval for where I spent their money.  Shouldn’t it be the same way with God and the money he provides us?  It’s all His after all. A good goal for me in the upcoming New Year would be to pray about where God would have me to give His money.  I’ve never heard of anyone who regretted giving their money to other worthy causes or to others in need, especially when it meant forgoing something they would like to have, but don’t really need in order to bless someone else with a more urgent need. Usually, these individuals find that the money they gave so generously is given back to them ten-fold because God is blessing them for their unselfishness and trust in Him and His provisions for His children.  God will provide, but if I am not seeking His guidance for where to share what He has given me, He will not be able to provide for others through me, and I so want Him to work through me to assist others.  So, let’s ask God today what we can do to bless someone else with what we have so graciously been given.  Out of poverty comes rich inner wealth…

December 20, 2012- There’s no trapping Jesus…

Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be honest. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor. Luke

20: 20

     Throughout the account of Jesus’ life in the book of Luke, the teachers of the law and the chief priests are constantly trying to prove that Jesus is wrong or that he is not the messiah. They try to trip him up with questions and situations that they believe he will not be able to explain. Finally, it says in Luke 20:26, “They were unable to trap him in what he had said there in public. And astonished by his answer, they became silent.”  Isn’t this what we do to each other on this earth?  We are always trying to prove we are better than someone else in our jobs, our religion, our morals, our homes, our children. It doesn’t matter what…just that we can prove we are better.

 This takes me back to the blog about judging ourselves first.  We are so busy judging others sometimes that we forget to look at ourselves.

It’s like the Pharisees in Luke. They were so busy trying to trap Jesus that when he answered them, often with a rebuke of their behavior, they couldn’t even look at themselves.  They were not willing to open their hearts and minds to the idea that they might not be perfect. So, what did they do, exactly what God knew they would do.They crucified Jesus.  Isn’t that, in effect, what we are doing, crucifying others in the hopes that it will make us look better?  I’m just as much a culprit of this sin as the next person.  It’s so easy to do, and it’s so hard to turn that judgment back on yourself because when you do, you realize that you are not better than anyone else. You are not more deserving of God’s grace and unconditional love any more than the next person, but He loves us anyway.  So, why can’t we just do the same?  I challenge you to love someone who has previously been unlovable to you today, instead of judging them, bless them, instead of trying to trap them, help them.    Take a step towards God and see how much farther he’ll carry you in life because of that faith, trust, and love you’ve shown in him and others.

December 19, 2012- Predicting the Future…

As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace-but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.” Luke 19: 41-44

     In these verses, Jesus is predicting the future of Jerusalem.

The future is prophesied about often in the Bible. Even Jesus’ coming was foretold, but I found these verses interesting because Jesus also gives a very specific reason for why Jerusalem would suffer, because they did not recognize the time of God’s coming.  I think so often this is the case with human suffering. God’s allows it because of our sin.  He gave us free will, but he also gave us intelligence, His Word, and the common sense to figure out what to do with all these things and use them wisely. When we don’t, we suffer, and others around us who may or may not deserve to suffer do so as well.  Our sin and our choices affect everyone else too. That’s why it is important to carefully consider what we say and do each day.  Terrible, terrible things have been happening all around lately, such as the school shootings that continue to repeat themselves with the loss of life increasing each time.  Many people are asking why God would allow these things.  It was the sin of the man who shot the sweet children at that school that caused it, not God.  It is the build up of sin in our culture, in our world, that has led to such tragedies.  It is depending not on God to help us raise our children and our world, but taking God out of our schools and our lives that accelerates the rate at which our world is being corrupted.  Look at the start of this verse stating that as Jesus approached the city, he wept over it.  God cries with us and for us when we do horrible things to each other, but this is what we chose when Adam and Eve chose to eat the apple and know the things that God knows.  God does not want us to suffer.That’s why we have the choice of Him and heaven when we pass on, but He also never said life would be easy.  He gives us the tools and the amazing determination and perseverance to survive it, but there will be suffering along the way.  Those children never had a chance to live their lives and their families are experiences unfathomable pain, but they are with God now, and they no longer have to endure the suffering of this world.  If those families affected most closely by this tragedy cling to God, He will bring great things out of the pain. He will help others through them. He will find a way to show His love and bring many people to a better place because of the loss of their precious babies.  They will be able to bring honor to their deaths through the good work they can do to help others.  I hope they are able to find God in all of this. I hope they will allow him to help them through the pain because he is the only one who can truly comfort and give peace when something as misguided and tragic as this happens to us personally.  There is much more suffering to occur in this world before Jesus returns to take us all home. There’s no avoiding it, but we can work to do whatever we can to make the world we live in a little bit better than it is now by allowing God to work through us and with us as we navigate through this fragile life He gave us.

December 18, 2012- Possibilities…

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.” Luke 18:27

     When I was young, I often thought about the possibilities for my life, believing they were all open to me and endless. As I grow older, I still dream of possibilities, but I am more realistic about it, understanding that life often takes dips and turns you could never dream about or plan for which affect where your opportunities lie and in turn, what possibilities may become realities.  These days, I tend to worry more about the impossible than the possible. How is God going to work out this family situation for me, my husband, and my children?

What kind of work will he provide when we leave this island?  How will he protect my boys from all the horrible stuff out there that I cannot protect them from? I dream more about their future possibilities than my own now. What can I do to ensure that they know the possibilities are endless, and that nothing is impossible with God? How can I instill that type of hope, confidence, and faith in them?  Bottom line is…I can’t control all these things and make sure they happen for my babies, but God can.  So, I suppose I’ll just have to leave it up to him and trust him to take care of the rest. After all, as Jesus explains in Luke, “What is impossible with men is POSSIBLE with God.”

December 15-17, 2012 Being different…

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” Luke 15: 7

He said to the, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight.” Luke 16:15

“Whoever tries to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.” Luke 17: 33

     Once again, Jesus is telling us that all the things the world tells us to do and become: the most righteous, the most powerful, popular, or rich…all of these people are detestable to God. They are not what he is looking for in his children. He is looking for the people willing to lose their lives for what’s right, for unconditional love, for truth, for everything He stands for! Jesus stood for everything humans were not, but had the potential to be.  He stood up for those who were shunned. He welcomed those who were downtrodden and suffering.  He loved all of us enough to die on a cross for people who spent his whole life on earth persecuting him.  Sometimes I feel so different from everyone else, like there’s very few who are like me or can really understand me.  Well, imagine how Jesus must have felt! He probably felt as if NO ONE knew what he was talking about. He probably wondered how he could help when his followers were so busy worrying about who was greatest instead of learning from him, but he knew his purpose and stayed the course.  Being different is a good thing, being unlike the rest of the world is even better. Stay the course, keep the faith, make that uniqueness work for you and for others, as Jesus did with his unique traits and knowledge.  It doesn’t matter whether or not anyone really understands you. What matters is that you know who you are and that you are right with God.  If you are comfortable in your own skin and comfortable in your relationship with God, all the rest will fall into place according to his plan.

December 14, 2012 Humility…

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14:11

     I found a very interesting definition of humility on Wikipedia this morning under the subtitle of Humility-Christianity. It says, “Humility is defined as, "A quality by which a person considering his own defects has a humble opinion of himself and willingly submits himself to God and to others for God's sake." St. Bernard defines it as, "A virtue by which a man knowing himself as he truly is, abases himself. Jesus Christ is the ultimate definition of Humility." Abases himself…what does that mean? To me it means, making yourself the lowest of the low, putting yourself at the bottom of the totem pole.

Didn’t Jesus do that during his life on earth? I mean he hung out with tax collectors and sinners, and even though he was prophesized as coming into the world a king, he was never a king by the world’s secular standards…he was just a man, and he walked the earth like a man, ate like a man, and lived his life like any other man, except he did it with perfect virtue and humility, and then he preached that same humility to all his followers.  So many of the disciples who followed him or even the Pharisees who persecuted him wanted to be accepted by him, wanted to be considered the greatest in knowledge, in holiness, in following the religious laws, but all Jesus wanted was to show them unconditional love and servanthood. His message continually repeats the same instructions, make yourself the least, serve others, give to the poor, love your enemies, be what everyone else is not, and you will be more than all of the greatest put together. Jesus never strived for popularity or keeping up with the Jones’. He strived only to lead us all to a better way, where we focus on service to our fellow human beings rather than trying to one-up each other. How could this be bad? I don’t think it is…if we can strive to be of service to our society, even if it’s just one of us at a time, I think our world could be such a more productive and joyful place.  Step out of your box today. Help someone who you normally would simply pass by and see how God blesses you because of it.