“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold
of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what
is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called
me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
It was a rough transition into 2018. I spent the final couple of days before the
New Year in mourning. Literally, I wavered between holding back tears and all
out bawling in the closet of my bedroom, then in the bed, then out on the first
run I’ve taken since an injury in August. I couldn’t really figure it out at
first. Yes, there were some things on my mind, but it had been a really long,
long time since I cried so much my head hurt, and my eyes got puffy. After
talking with my brother in the midst of all these tears (Bet he was so happy to
catch me in that emotional place! J),
I realized that I was crying for what has been left behind….relationships (some
lost in the shuffle, some lost to illness and death, and some simply lost for a
reason I may never understand) and life already lived.
I let it all out in those final days of 2017. I haven’t had
any more crying jags since then, and as I navigate the first month of 2018, my
only resolution is this…to love more completely in my relationships, to love my
life (in whatever stage it’s in), and to love my God more fiercely and more
fully than I did in 2017. Love is the
one word that has been resounding in my head these first few weeks of the New
Year. It’s everywhere I look, in everything I read and hear, and always on my
mind. How can I love my family better? How can I love the children I work with in
the way they need? How can I love my staff and co-workers better? How can I love God with my whole heart? I
don’t know where God is going to lead me, but I don’t want to be left behind,
and if his word for me this year is to love, then love I must. Love with my words, love with my actions,
love in everything I do. Forgetting what
is behind, striving toward what is ahead….I don’t know what this love is going
to look like. I can’t say that you, as my family and friends, will see a stark
change in me, but change there will be. All I know is that I will need God’s
help to accomplish learning to love more unconditionally.
Our world is built on conditions. I’ll love you when you meet my needs. I’ll
love you when you respect me. I’ll love you when you value the things I value
and believe the way I believe. To quote
an old Beatles classic, “all you need is love,” and from the most read book in
the world, “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs.” Proverbs
10:12. What else is there? What else matters? We sing about it, we seek it all
our lives, we kill for it, die for it, and put our lives on the line for
it. What better resolution could there
be, but to seek out how to love better. I choose love, will you choose it with
me? Let’s see how love can change the world together! To all of our who are read
this, I love you, more than you could ever know!
