Shipwrecked: Writing Prompt #23-Read the story of Richard Parker and Tom Dudley. Is what Dudley did defensible? What would you have done?

What would I do if shipwrecked on a lifeboat with no food and water for many, many days? I would like to think that I would be strong and admirable like Louis Zamperini, but I can’t really say for sure what I would do or how I would react in that extremely stressful situation.  I do know that I can’t imagine doing what Dudley did, and I don’t believe I could eat another person at all, even if they had died of natural causes, but I have also NEVER gone hungry nor do I know what straving to death would do to my mental state. 

What do I know? I know that I am capable of making mistakes and doing things I say I’d never do.  I’ve compromised my own values and rules more than I care to admit in my short 39 years in this life. I am FAR from perfect, but I think that’s what makes me most human. Because I’ve made mistakes and compromised myself at times, I can relate to more people in this world.  I can relate to Peter and David in the Bible, who were both men God held close to his heart.  If God can love these men, men who denied His son, men who murdered and cheated and made terrible choices, but had good intentions and whose hearts were in the right place, He can love me too, despite all my human inadequacies. 

Psalm 51: A Prayer of Repentance

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

Have mercy upon me, O God,

According to Your lovingkindness;

According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,

Blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

And cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions,

And my sin is always before me.

Against You, You only, have I sinned,

And done this evil in Your sight—

That You may be found just when You speak,

And blameless when You judge.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,

And in sin my mother conceived me.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,

And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me hear joy and gladness,

That the bones You have broken may rejoice.

Hide Your face from my sins,

And blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence,

And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,

And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,

And sinners shall be converted to You.

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,

The God of my salvation,

And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,

And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;

You do not delight in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and a contrite heart—

These, O God, You will not despise.

Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;

Build the walls of Jerusalem.

Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,

With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;

Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.

January 22: Writing Prompt #22-I Got Skills

If you could choose to be a master (or mistress) of any skill in the world, which skill would you pick?

Hmmm…so can you blog readers guess what skill I would choose to be the mistress of….I’m trying to be good at it right now. J  Yes, it’s writing.  Since I was a middle schooler and introduced to journaling by my English teacher, I have loved writing for myself, for others, for children…whoever might gleam some enjoyment from it.  It’s therapy for me, and it’s also pure joy.  I will most likely never be a master of this as my writing skills have been developing and changing along with me, and I expect to continue to grow and change throughout life, but I will continue to try and master it until I can no longer hold a pencil or type on a keyboard. 

When I was a little girl (and sometimes now when I watch American Idol or The Voice), I would have said, I wanted to be a mistress of music! I grew up playing piano (7 years of lessons), taking voice lessons, and singing in any way I could in church (musicals, special music solos, choirs, etc…). I still pretend I trying out for Idol or Voice in my car on the way to work or in the shower. Yes, I just admitted that! Love, love, love music and singing, but not a master or mistress of it, but if I could go back and be….would be very tempting for me. 

God obviously had other plans for me, including things I never thought I would do. Teaching was not on my radar growing up (even though I was an English major in college). I wanted to write, not teach, but I fell in love with teaching when the opportunity presented itself for me to teach developmental English at the College of the Marshall Islands to young Marshallese students. And he had other plans when he moved me into working in child care…REALLY never thought I would do that, but it turns out I’m pretty good with kids (even though I’ve made my share of mistakes with my own), and I enjoy being a part of their lives in my workplace.  Makes work feel purposeful for me…And isn’t that better than being a master or mistress of anything? Finding something that gives you purpose, something that you are naturally good at without having to think too much about it?  I’m okay with not being a master of anything as long as I’m growing, reflecting back, learning from my mistakes, and doing the best I can to be all that God has for me to be. 

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.” Philippians 3:12-15

January 21: Writing Prompt #21-Sweet Sixteen

When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?

When I turned 16, the only thing on my mind was getting a car! Unfortunately, I was so spoiled, that’s the only thing I asked my parents for even though they told me they were NOT getting me a car.  So, on my 16^th birthday, I didn’t get anything from my parents.  I don’t remember having a party or birthday celebration, although I’m sure we did something…only because I was so focused on that car, which I suppose meant freedom for me.  Pretty sad, huh, but I’m so glad my parents did not give in to my teenage “sweet sixteen” tantrum. J 

As far as what I thought my life would look like, I’m not so sure I thought that much ahead at that time in my life.  Like any young lady in the Southern United States in the late 80’s/early 90’s, I had plans to go to college (which I did), and somewhere in the back of my mind, I figured I’d get married and have kids some day (which I also did), but I certainly had NO IDEA the creative and often quite painful path I would take to get there! I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “God works in mysterious ways.” Well, I’m not sure if I would use the word mysterious, but he does use EVERY experience to bring about His purpose for our life, and it’s definitely NOT the way any of us could ever imagine it would turn out. 

Is this a good thing? YES! I would not be who I am today or where I am or married to who I’m married to, etc…if it had not been for all the good and bad things God took me through to get me where I am today.  I’m more content and happy today than ever, and that’s because I’ve been through the fire, gained proper perspective, and come out better and wiser on the other side. 

In addition to the things I expected in my life (college, marriage, and kids), here’s a few things that happened which I did not expect:

1. Traveling and living in Spain for 3 months in college and falling in love with seeing the world and learning about other cultures and ways of life. 

2. Living on a small, isolated atoll in the Marshall Islands for 17 years and leading 4-H Clubs with the Marshallese, including one club that produced a children’s book written in Marshallese and English and created/illustrated by a 5^th grade class of public school children. (AWESOME EXPERIENCE!!)

3. Writing and illustrating with my OWN children 2 published children’s books and then writing a children’s book that a extremely talented batik artist would WANT to illustrate and having that book published as well. 

4. Getting a divorce after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids and how hard it was to go through it on that small, isolated atoll where everyone knows your business all the time. 

5. Losing people who I thought would be lifelong friends to that divorce and how much that would hurt and still does... 

6. Making new friends and a new life with the LOVE of my life on the same atoll before leaving to move back to the states (I’m so very blessed and lucky!)

7. Going on a Yoga retreat to Bali, Indonesia! Need I say more about that-FAVORITE TRIP EVER!! Well, next to the engagement trip to Vancouver, Canada where I got to see from first professional hockey game on my birthday!!

8. My children being raised in separate homes starting at the ages of 9 and 11. Not even a thought in my mind AFTER the divorce…not until a few months before it happened was I able to grasp that idea. Also could never have guessed that it might actually be best for each of them due to the differences in their personalities, interests, etc…God does know best, right!

9. My parents getting back together after being married for 23 years, then divorced for almost that same amount of time and me being able to visit them together in the same household again in their later years.

10.  Falling in love with the Northwest and actually living in the shadow of Mt. Rainier today, so magnificent!

These are all events that profoundly affected me in one way or another and shaped who I am today, and I feel so strong now, knowing that I could go through tough times, take off to new adventures in places I’ve never been before, and deal with the past in a new way and find the good in it all.  That means I can handle whatever the future sends my way…not going to say it won’t be hard, but whatever the future holds (as I don’t even presume to know anymore what my life will be life 20 more years from now), I know that I will be able to look back on it and say it was good because all of life (the challenges and the triumphs) are what make us who we are. 

January 20, 2015 Lessons Learned from Island Life

*This is a blog entry I started at the end of December, and then got involved in the writing prompt challenge, but for today, instead of the writing prompt provided, I am going to share these lessons learned from my life in the islands.

     Residing on a 3 mile long, ½ mile wide low-lying coral atoll for 17 years taught me a few lessons that are really being driven home as I settle back into stateside, American life.  Here’s just a few of them….

1. Let the little things go!

You can’t experience small town life any smaller than life on Kwajalein.  There’s one grocery store with limited product selection and often no selection if the planes are not running that week or the whole batch of milk sent went bad on the way and never made it to the shelf.  You see the people you work with at the store after work, at the barbeque down at the beach on Friday night, and riding down the road on bikes to check your mail.  So, you are always “on,” so to speak, never anonymous, never able to just sink into your own thoughts because the next day you will hear from a friend how someone else thinks you’re snobby because you didn’t see them and speak at the post office the day before.  And the worst part of it all is that EVERYONE on island KNOWS your business (sometimes before you even do!) This was very hard for me the first decade of my island life, but gradually I learned to just let the little things go.  When there was no decent bread at the store, I learned to make my own. When riding down the road on my bike, I learned to pay more attention to my surroundings, enjoying the social aspect of life in a small community, and when going through tough times and hearing all the gossip about me that hurt, I learned to let it go, which leads me to the #2 lesson. 

2. You can’t control everything, and even if you could, why would you want to? 

Living on the same, small island for over a decade and ½, I saw many people come and go, and the prevailing commonality among all of them was the ability to settle in quickly, forgetting how absolutely gorgeous the ocean all around them is, how nice it is to have the time and energy to go hang out at the beach or scuba dive every day after work, and how lucky they are to live and work on a tropical island in the warm bathtub of the Pacific Ocean near the equator, and instead begin the tirade of complaints about what the island is NOT and what we do NOT HAVE.  When the weekly plane with produce lands, word of what comes off that plane quickly spreads to the housewives, who call each other and rush to the store before everyone else gets off work, so they can stock up (and sometimes hoard) the supplies that will soon be depleted until the next plane.  Food being a basic necessity, this is the chief concern of all, although there are other issues with life on an isolated atoll that residents find reason to gripe about. The bottom line is that NONE of these issues are things any of us can control, so why try to.  Enjoy the sunsets, the warm water, the beautiful almost neon green color that comes out right at dusk every night, which makes up for what we lack, right?  Along those lines…see #3…

3. Life is what you make it; it’s all a matter of perspective.  

You can complain to complain or to have something to talk about OR you can learn to be content with where you are and what you are doing right now.  If you are always looking at the negative, than that is what your life will be, negative.  Focus on what you have, the blessings of life on an island or in the mountains or with your family and choose to control the way you think about things because that’s one of the few things we can take charge of in our lives.  It’s always easier to put things in perspective when you are out in nature enjoying its bounty, and so we come to our last, but not least lesson learned from island living….

4. There’s so much to be said for real “down time.” 

Mainly, what I have come to miss (besides for all the life long friends I made while living in the Marshalls) is the down time.  Between driving to work 30 minutes each way, taking care of the dog and errands as soon as I arrive home, and the light going out so much earlier much of the year in the NW (it’s not light until 7:30 am right now and dark again by 5:00 pm), then dinner, it’s time for bed.  Between the end of my day and bed on Kwajalein, I could attend my children’s sports games, go to the store (actually all 4 stores on island), have dinner with my family, and then have an hour long meeting with my cub scout den, all before 8 pm.  Needless to say, this was not really down time. Somehow, even on a small island, we learn how to overschedule ourselves, but when you needed real “down time,” island life gave you plenty of opportunities to have it. Heading to the beach to have a chat, subway sandwich, and a glass of wine isn’t easy to plan and pull off here in the states, but on an island, it’s just a matter of picking up the phone, pulling out your beach chair, stopping by subway for the sandwich, then biking down to the beach…which can all happen within 30 minutes. 

No matter where you live, a peaceful life comes from finding contentment in your present circumstances.  I can still have down time here, but it’s more a matter of making room for it in the schedule.  Weekends are too short for all the things that need to get done, but at least on an island, you could still fit a little weekend into your week with a dive or swim in the lagoon after work. 

 

I find my contentment now in a clear view of the magnificent Mt. Rainier while waiting at the traffic light coming off the freeway next to the dog park.  I find peace when discovering a new hidden gem of NW nature, which is everywhere you turn when you take the time to look. I love being closer to family, and I enjoy going to see my first Monster Jam or making my way through my first Corn Maze.  There’s so many things that were not a part of island life that are new and exciting to me now, so I’m finding joy in each moment, each new experience, and I can’t wait to see where life will take us next….from the atoll to the mountains to the….Life is what you make it, and as for me, I like to think of it as an adventure, which is the biggest life lesson of all!!

January 19: Writing Prompt #19-Apply yourself

Describe your last attempt to learn something that did not come easily to you.

    I would have to say my last attempt to learn something new that did NOT come easily to me was snowboarding in December 2006. The funniest part of the whole thing is that I was by far the oldest one in the group, including the instructor, who was probably barely over 21.  Everyone was so young in the group that  he instructor tried to compare some of his instructions to driving a car and stopped in the middle saying, “oh, well, I guess most of you can’t relate to that yet.” 

     I skied with my dad and brothers for several spring breaks when I was a girl, traveling to Steamboat Springs, CO, no less, and I really enjoyed it. I was not too bad at skiing, especially considering that I’m not the most athletically inclined.  I didn’t think too much about learning to snowboard at 31 years old since I already knew how to ski.  Well, it was much more difficult than I thought.  I took my lesson and tried hard all day long, but upon waking up the next morning, I was more sore than I ever remember being in my whole life. Part of the problem was that I bruised my tailbone sledding on a garbage can lid in the mid 90’s with some college friends, and my repeated falls on my bum while trying to keep my balance snowboarding brought that injury back to the forefront.  The morning after I felt like I had just injured it again.  Luckily, I was only extremely sore, but nonetheless, I have not gone snowboarding again since. It’s one of those things I am most likely getting too old to start now, but I am proud of myself for trying!!  The next new thing I learn may be less physical, but I will definitely NOT give up on learning new things when the opportunity presents itself.  I figure it’s part of what will help keep me young at heart!