March 5: Writing Prompt #64-Perspective

Write about the last disagreement you had with a friend or family member — from their perspective.

I am an argumentative person, and I also tend to play devil’s advocate, sometimes without even realizing it, so I have minor disagreements with those I am particularly comfortable with (mostly family) fairly regularly.  I often disagree with things my youngest son says, but he’s eleven, so that’s pretty much par for the course. I disagree with my husband at times over little things, but we are two different and two very independent people, so again, normal in my book. I disagree with my dad at some point every time I spend more than a couple of days with him at a time, but he’s the one who taught me to be argumentative, and he’s better than anyone I know at playing devil’s advocate in a way that makes it seem he really believes in what he is saying (whether or not he really does).  J Love you, Dad!! The one person I have never really disagreed with hardly at all is my mom, but even that is not 100% as I had a fairly heated disagreement recently (which is very unusual for her to get heated-she is like my grandfather in that way-she puts up with a lot very calmly for a long time, then when she does get upset, she REALLY gets upset). Love you too, mom! J Bottom line, disagreements with others are a part of life, although I do think we are all a bit happier, able to let go easier, and wiser over all when we can learn to consider how the other person is feeling or what they are thinking and why.

I have been pretty “all out there” with this blog in the New Year, which was one of my goals, to put myself out there, but I do have lines drawn, and for this prompt, I do not particularly feel comfortable sharing the details of any of my recent disagreements with friends or family because they may not wish for me to discuss that in this forum, so here I am, writing without a focus….or maybe not….

My Granddaddy and my husband are the two people who have taught me the most about perspective over my lifetime.  My Granddaddy taught me about it when he pointed out the perspective of my dad during the time my parents were newly divorced, and my Grandmother, Mom, and I were being ugly in our speech about my dad and his behavior. I’ll never forget the unconditional love and non-judgmental perspective he presented to us. When there was finally a lull in our gossipy, one-sided conversation, he said (and this was the only thing he said the entire time), “I wonder what life is like for him right now with his new wife and how he must feel.”    After that, none of us said anything…not a word.  That’s all he HAD to say in order to put us in our place and remind us that there’s two sides to every story. 

My husband is very similar. When I first met him, I was going through my divorce, and it was a very, very difficult time. He was such a good friend to me from the start, listening to my pain for hours over the phone between our two island homes.  Because things were rapidly changing within me and my life then, there were times when I would say something without really thinking that would cause him to pause.  During these times, he would “take a break,” so to speak and step back from calling me for a day or two.  I would usually jump to conclusions and get concerned that I had lost my good friend, but I discovered as I got to know him better and better that he was taking that “step back” time to think about what we had said to each other, and in particular, to think about things from my perspective….MY PERSPECTIVE. Who does that when they’ve had a disagreement?  I know it was not something I was accustomed to doing, but it is something I am learning to do because of him.  I try to stop myself when I am getting heated and consider how the other person feels, although I’m still not very good at it.  I have much to learn, but know this, I do WANT to know how you feel, what you are thinking, where you are coming from, but I also kindly ask the same of you when you think of me, when you read this blog…consider the perspective I am coming from before judging me, and I will readily give you the same courtesy.  J

March 4: Writing Prompt #63- Twenty-Five

There are 26 letters in the English language, and we need every single one of them. Want proof? Choose a letter and write a blog post without using it. (Feeling really brave? Make it a vowel!)

I’m not feeling brave, so I won’t choose a vowel. I’ll choose the letter, “Z.”  J 

Did you know there are only 24 letters in the Marshallese alphabet, the language of the natives of the Marshall Islands?  Although, there are not 24 different and individual letters like in the English alphabet.  There are, instead, 24 different “sounds” in their language. For example, the letters A, L, M, N, O, and U have 2-3 different sounds, but are written the same way except for some marks on the top or bottom of the letters.  It is the most unique sounding language I have ever heard.  It is, in fact, still in the process of being formalized in written format because it started out as an entirely oral language.  The original or “old” spelling of words and the development of the written alphabet was introduced by missionaries and best I can tell was based on how it sounded to them as native English speakers.  There’s a club on Kwajalein called the Yokwe Yuk Club.  The way it is pronounced is how it looks to you as an English speaker using the English alphabet. Over the last few years, a new spelling has been developed for the Marshallese language by the Republic of the Marshall Islands based on a more consistent and faithful representation of the sound of the language.  With this new spelling, Yokwe Yuk becomes “iokwe eok.” And actually, Y is not even a part of the alphabet, so it’s really a special case based on Marshallese influenced English, but you will see it on signs all over the islands. 

Overall, it is a very fascinating language, especially to persons who enjoy learning about language, such as myself. Unfortunately, in all my years there, my actual grasp of the language and ability to use it is very limited to basic phrases which were useful to me as a teacher and co-worker to the locals while living there.  This is the real tragedy and regret of my time there because less than 50,000 speak this interesting Micronesian language, and I admire those who are dedicated enough to truly devote themselves to communicating in it and with proper pronunciation, which is possibly the hardest part if you have not grown up speaking it.  The way you form your mouth, i.e. use your tongue, etc…is pretty specific to this little known language.  It’s truly amazing to listen to others converse in it. And their language, along with so many other parts of their immensely family-oriented, generous, and fun-loving culture makes the Marshallese island community the top of my list for one of my favorite places in the world!! So, Kommol Tata, my friends, for teaching me so many wonderful lessons over the years and sharing your lives and hearts with me! Love you all!

How’s that? I picked the easiest letter to leave out, I believe, and I still used it, although it was only twice (I think), but I did pick it for a very special reason, because it is the first letter in the name of my oldest child.  So, for me, the prompt is completely accurate, I could not live without even one of the 26 letters of the English alphabet! I need them all, just like my friends, my family, and my sons. J

March 3: Writing Prompt #62-No, Thanks

Is there a place in the world you never want to visit? Where, and why not?

I really wasn’t sure how to answer this one, so I asked my husband his thoughts on it, and immediately he said any place that harbors terrorists, knowingly or unknowingly.  I understand where he is coming from. I don’t think I would ever be brave enough to travel some place where I knew I would be placing myself in danger, but I think that’s because it’s not just about me.  I am not single. I have a husband, a family, parents, and friends whom I know love me, and it would be irresponsible of me to take off t o some place where I could be held hostage, tortured, hurt, or killed (whether it be purposely or accidentally), so I guess that would be my “where never to visit and why not.” 

That said, if I ever felt an intense calling to visit these places, my children were raised and on their own, and my husband was supportive of my calling, I would rule ANY PLACE out.  Ever since stepping foot off my country of birth into Europe when I was in college, I have been fascinated and enlightened by travel because it’s such a learning experience for me.  Maybe I would begin to understand a bit more (not sympathize necessarily, but understand) why children are shooting at American soldiers in Middle Eastern countries and why the terrorists out there are willing to give up their lives for their cause.  If I could see the culture they are raised in and talk with others who are from the same place, but NOT terrorists, I might learn something that would help us negotiate in crisis situations, learn something that would bring us peace, not more terror.

Judging others gets your nowhere but in a negative, bitter frame of mind, and eventually, it leads to focusing on nothing but those judgments, so that you can’t even see ANY positive or good in the person or situation.  Lately, I know I’ve gotten back into the jumping to judgments habit instead of judging myself first.  It’s something I realized today when talking with a co-worker and literally feeling the negativity seeping out of my words.  It’s time to get back to looking for the positives in each situation and person in my life. It’s glass half-full time!!

There are increasingly more unsafe places in the world today to visit with the rise in terrorism since 9-11, but I still believe there’s good in everyone and every place. Sometimes you just have to look past the rough parts to see it.  Some of my favorite places to spend time over the years have been what the world calls “third-world” countries, but what I see is the intense family oriented culture, the focus on laughing and having fun rather than on acquiring more stuff, the beauty in a child coming up with their own games using only the rocks and sticks the find outside their homes. 

If we want to truly love and be loved than we must learn to love as God does, unconditionally and without judgment.  So, I won’t judge any place and say it’s not somewhere I’d want to visit because I’d love to give every place on God’s green earth a chance to show me its hidden secrets and cultural diversity to me. 

March 2: Writing Prompt #61-Places

Beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely?

Well, this one is an easy one for me…ALL of THEM, for a time at least.  I’ve had the amazing opportunity already in my life to live rent and mortgage free right on the ocean in the safest part of the world where there are no major storms or hurricanes to worry about.  I did LOVE living mere feet from the Pacific waves in the Marshall Islands.  I never grew tired of the magnificent blue-green and clear waters, and even though the years I lived in that home were some of the most challenging and upsetting I’ve ever experienced, there was a peace in those waves. Whenever I was particularly distraught, I could just go out back and find God there in the consistency and power of the ocean. I could pray and cry as loud as I wanted (even with neighbors’ homes only feet away on either side) and no one would know because the crash of the waves would pull my cries right out into the sea and keep them just between us. I have wonderful memories there too, like the memory of my oldest son’s 3^rd Dinosaur themed birthday party with the plastic blow-up pool for fishing for ducks and the John Deere electric car that the kids drove all over the yard.  I have sweet pictures of my babies playing out on the coral reef in diapers with their dad and of me holding my 3 month old newborn with the trade winds blowing my hair and the sun making my son squint his eyes. 

There are advantages and disadvantages to living anywhere, and just as much as I loved it, I remember the upkeep of living in a house right on the ocean where rust, mold, and sea salt spray covered everything left outside, even behind patio walls.  Certain times of year the trade winds were so strong, they would break each and every wind chime hung from the patio cover, and it was difficult to even hold a conversation with a friend while sitting out back.  The beach and the Pacific Ocean in particular will always hold a special place in my heart, but I would never choose again to live right on it. One reason is because it’s so expensive anywhere else, and in the majority of other places in the world, you have to worry about hurricanes, etc...BUT, I would also not chose to live on the ocean again because I had my time on the ocean, and when it was over, I was ready to move on.  And I did…

Now, I live in the shadow of Mt. Rainier and the Olympic Mountain Chain, and I get so excited when they show themselves on a clear day.  I love to seek out their best hiking spots and discover all the waterfalls and other wonders the mountains hold in their nooks and crannies. I have only been here a year, and I have not finished exploring yet….

Living in the NW, forest kind of comes with the territory. I mean, it is the EVERGREEN state for goodness sake! For that matter, I live behind 200+ feet of wetland forest, and every time I set foot in this basically untouched, protected area, I can’t believe how beautiful it is.  Having visited the Redwoods a few years ago, I again feel privileged to have been able to visit those old growth forests.  Just like the ocean, there’s a peace there, although it’s a quieter peace. The ocean ROARS and puts itself all out there at once, loudly proclaiming itself to all who will listen, and the forest takes its time revealing its intricacies to you in the chirp of a lone bird or the crunching of leaves beneath your feet. It soothes in its cool undergrowth and cleanses the air you breath with its fresh, earthy odor. The ocean crashes into my soul while the forest wraps me warmly into its mossy embrace. 

Something else entirely, well, I’ve yet to have the opportunity to live near or on a river or lake.  I think that will be a goal for a future life adventure. J How could anyone ever chose when there are so many wonderful environments to experience in this magnificent world of ours!

March 1: Writing Prompt #60-Back to the Future

A service has been invented through which you can send messages to people in the future. To whom would you send something, and what would you write?

I don’t know what to think about this one. I don’t want to influence of  “change” the future for anyone else by sharing information that may or may not be helpful to them.  The only thing I can think of that I’d want to share with anyone in the future would be to let my family and friends know how much my time with them, however little or much has meant and how I love them with all my heart. What is life without our family and friends? Not very meaningful, that’s for sure.  And none of us know how long we have or when we will leave this world, so I’d want to make sure that those most special to me know how important they were and are to me, just in case I haven’t already told them and/or in case I leave this world before I have a chance. 

So, to all of you out there, thank you for being my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, in-laws, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, and friends. Thank you for letting me be me and for being you. Thank you for your love and for being there for me even when I wasn’t always there for you.   I love and treasure you all more than my written words could ever convey!