April 29th-Patching Update...

     For those of you who are wondering, my youngest is doing really well with his patching therapy and new glasses. The doctor in Alabama had stated that only one patient in 21 years who was the same age as my baby (7 years) before getting a congenital cataract (there since birth) removed had ever gotten any sight back.  He told us he would be happy if our son was even able to get back to reading vision at 20/200 in the next few months, which would be very large print reading vision. In fact, according to eyetopics.com, "if you have 20/200 visual acuity, the smallest letters you can recognize at 20 feet, a person with normal eyesight can recognize when they are 200 feet away. Your visual acuity is only at 10%." That's not a very uplifting prognosis for his future sight.
     Well, he is wearing the patch all day long at school, keeping up with his work, and reading and writing just fine with the one weak eye.  Of course, he is used to reading and working with one eye as he has been doing for at the last few months at least, since the cataract had grown so large as to impair his vision, but it was an eye with 20/20 vision, not one in which there was relatively no vision until again recently. Again, to explain 20/20 vision, eyetopics.com says, "20/20 means the smallest letters you can recognize at a distance of 20 feet are the same size as those a person with normal eyesight can see at the same distance."  My son is a bit slower and annoyed sometimes at having to wear the patch so much, but that's to be expected.  Overall, it's truly impressive and very exciting, going from believing our son may never be able to have vision in that eye again to reading and writing with the weak eye in just a few weeks of having the offending "cloudy" lens removed and replaced with a good one.  It's amazing what medical science has come to and what our brains can adapt to and recover from, especially as young children. Kudos to my son for sticking with it and doing so well!

April 28, 2011- Learning to Separate...

      It's only been a few days back at work, and I am starting to feel myself deflating a bit emotionally.  It's something I struggle with at home too. I am a very open and genuine person, filled with passion and emotion, so much so, that I sometimes have trouble controlling it.  I "wear my heart on my sleeve," and "what you see is what you get," to quote a few applicable cliches. The problem with this is that there are times when I need to better hide or not allow my emotional/passionate side to take over in moments of frustration, hurt, or difficult situations.  There are some very positive things about being passionate and emotional, but this particular part is not one of them.  Unfortunately, my youngest son is very emotional too, so you put the two of us together, and "BAM," sometimes you get a bit of that "passion" overflowing as once quiet moments become heated debates with raised voices. 
      And at work, I can't say I've always been able to keep my emotions in check, so I've realized lately (because of the amount of stress it causes me when I get so wrapped up in work and discipline of my son emotionally) that it's time to learn to separate work relationships from personal relationships, to separate discipline and patience with my kids from the personal hurt and frustration that comes with raising them sometimes.  Just the other day, my baby boy said to me (during one of our discussions after he had been very disrespectful to me, and I had asked him to try harder to use nice words and a nice tone of voice with me), that he couldn't control himself.   That was the most honest answer I've ever had from him during one of our talks.  I can understand that. I've been there myself. I have a hard time controlling my emotions and reactions too sometimes, but now more than ever, primarily because I don't want my son to struggle with same things I've struggled with as a result of not learning early on how to separate my emotions and passion from the "business" side of the world, I have to learn to delineate the two and teach him how to do the same. 
    I don't want to begin feeling like I am not at ease to be my usual open, genuine, and passionate self at work and at home, but I do want to know that I can stop when I feel myself getting emotional, take a deep breath, and a "time out" if needed before responding and saying something in a way I wish I hadn't.  It's not that it happens to me every day or even every week. It's once in a while, but it's enough to make me want to reduce the stress in my life that working myself up that much causes.  I can't solve everyone's problems, and I now realize that is what is causing me to get so emotional about the difficult issues I face regularly. I want to help my son do the right thing and learn how to treat others with consideration and kindness. I want to help my co-workers resolve their issues with others they have trouble communicating with or come to me to vent frustrations about working effectively with, but by allowing myself to invest too much emotionally, I am not able to help anyone, and I only bring more stress to myself, so I am learning to separate.

April 27, 2011-The News for the Day!

      As I get ready to go home for the evening, the only news on my mind worth reporting is the Canucks won their first series in the playoff!!! In the 7th and final game of the series for the Blackhawks and Canucks, they went into overtime with the Blackhawks tying it up with a goal in the last 2 minutes of the game. Within 5 minutes, more or less, of overtime, the Canucks finished it for a series win! I'm so excited.  It's fun to have someone/something to root for.  Chicago is an awesome team as well, and together the Canucks and Blackhawks made this first series of the Stanley Cup 2011 really amazing to watch and enjoy! Congratulations to the Vancouver Canucks and to Fin, their mascot, I say "Eat my Head!!" Someday, hopefully, I'll be able to say that in person to Fin and have my kids there to meet their new favorite team mascot in person.  :) Can't wait for the next series of games...   

April 26, 2011-Quiet Day in the Office...

    The first day back to work after being gone for a few weeks is always a good day to catch up.  It remained pretty quiet all day because most of my co-workers were not sure if I was back yet or not, so I took advantage of that fact to hide out in my office and complete paperwork before being pulled back into the classroom. I love being with the kids, but once I enter, it's so hard to leave, then I begin to get behind in all the other requirements of my job, and I have a hard time keeping up.  Being able to work on some of the editing and paperwork from Alabama this time really helped, but there's always something going on and some "right away" need to take care of when working in the world of child care.  Children are still learning patience and how they are feeling at that very moment often outweighs everything else in their small worlds and they react emotionally instead of rationally, but their openness and their sweet, naive nature is refreshing in the world of adults most of us live with for a majority of our time each day.  So, I look forward to catching up with the little ones tomorrow and getting plenty of hugs and giggles from them as that is my absolute favorite part!  :)

April 25, 2011-Play Off Jitters...

     Today was spent mostly agonizing over whether or not the Vancouver Canucks would have to play a 7th game against the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup series of hockey playoffs.  It was an awesome game, but alas, not the end yet.  After going into overtime with a tie, they were pushed to one more game to take place on Wednesday afternoon, our time.  I wish we could be there to watch them in person! I fell in love with the team and their home town on our visit there in February, but I am now officially hooked for life as I have become a long distance fan.  There or not, I am rooting for them.  I have never really been much into watching sports on TV.  It's just not the same as being there, but these guys are so amazing, and the game itself is so fast paced and exciting, that I just can't help but become addicted to hockey and the Canucks. Other than watching the game, it was a lazy day, jet lag taking over on my part.  I felt I was never quite caught up all weekend, and it's time to head back to my island and to work first thing tomorrow.  In the meantime, all I have to say is "Go, Canucks, Go!"

April 24, 2011-Where has the time gone?

     It's Easter Sunday on the atoll, and I can't believe we are already 4 months into the New Year.  The past few days have gone by in a blur, due to my travel schedule, and the blog, once again, has suffered because of it.  I am still trying to wake up from it all.  Today, we slept in, had breakfast at the chow hall, then Easter brunch there again later, watched a movie, played some tennis, and visited with friends at the Outrigger Bar  before having cereal and going to bed.  It was a great way for me to simply decompress from all the jet lag, but still get out and readjust a bit to island life, catch up with friends I haven't seen in awhile, and get some exercise.  I wish I had a few more days to get myself together before heading back to the hectic schedule of school and work life, but tomorrow will be it until next weekend, so I will rest up as much as possible and enjoy the day, being thankful for my life here.  I truly missed it all while being gone, so that's a good sign. When you start to dread coming back to atoll life, that usually means it's time to start looking for life elsewhere, but for now, I'm content right where I am, and it is always good to get away for a while, gain that perspective, and take it back home with you to appreciate another few months on the coral rock we call home.

April 21st to April 23rd- Planes, Planes, and More Planes...

     This marks the first time I have combined days on my blog and written one entry for 3 days. I decided to do that because the only thing I have to write for those days is waking up insanely early (try around 3:30 for 2 days in a row) to catch one plane after another until we were finally able to make it back home a day later than we left.  The 21st started with a 6 am flight from AL to Texas with just enough time to make it to our connecting flight several terminals away from the one we arrived in to catch our flight to Hawaii.  We were on planes for approximately 10 hours total, arriving in Honolulu at around 12:30. The boys swan for about an hour in the warm waters of the outdoor hotel pool while I sunbathed in the welcome heat and humidity of the islands, which I had been longing to feel in the tornado laden alternating cold and warm fronts passing through Alabama in the spring for the last 3 weeks.  After that, we took showers and walked over to the local "Byron's Drive In," my favorite local 24 hour outdoor "trucker refreshment" stop close to both of the airport hotels we stay in when passing through Hawaii on our way back to the Marshalls.  After that, it was nighty night time, both boys and their mom were out in front of the hotel TV before 8 pm (making our day officially 21 hours long with the 5 hour time change from Alabama to Hawaii), which was fine with me because our 3:15 wake up call to start our day on the 22nd was close on the horizon.
     Arriving at the airport and heading to our gate by 4:30 am, it was a much smoother trip on the way back than on the way there a few weeks ago, no close calls getting to our flights, no outrageous taxi fees because the airport hotels provide shuttle transportation every half hour round the clock, and despite the fitful night's sleep I had before getting up for good a little after 3 am, I felt wide awake...I was; however, flabbergasted at the $23 breakfast we picked up at Starbucks on our way to the gate, but oh well, it will be the last speciality coffee shop I'll even see for awhile, so I paid it and moved on.  It was good to get something in our stomachs before heading into the sky for the last 7 hour leg of our journey to the atoll. We arrived at 10:30 am on Saturday, April 23, losing a day in the air as we crossed the international dateline. So, just like that, three days have passed. I'm now on Roi for the weekend, decompressing before heading back to work on Tuesday morning, enjoying some catch up time with my fiance.  It will be an early night for me, but it's so good to be home again!

April 20, 2011- Indoor Swimming and McDonald's Milkshakes...

     Our flight tomorrow is at six a.m., leaving from Birmingham, which is about two hours from my parent's house in Huntsville.  Because of the early morning travel time, my parents reserved us a room at a hotel with an indoor pool about 20 minutes from the airport.  It costs a little more to stay in a hotel with an indoor swimming pool in North Alabama, but we found it was completely worth it! The boys and I had a blast going from the cool water of the pool to the hot water of the spa, playing Marco Polo and "walking off the edge" into the water, which is one of my boys' favorite pool past times.  They make up pretend scenarios, such as they are walking along a solid path going to school, and they simply stride right into the pool, yelling as they descend into the water.  This never seems to get old for them.  We swam for at least 2 hours, then it was time for my dad's favorite past time, heading to McDonald's to get milkshakes for dinner. McDonald's play place and their food is another thing that never gets old for my kids. I don't know if it is because they are not able to go to a McDonald's except once or twice a year when we visit the states or if all kids are this way about Ronald's famous fries and play spaces, but it is always touted as one of the highlights of their trips back to the U.S., going to McDonald's.  They speak the restaurant's name longingly when we drive by one without stopping, and they make faster friends there in the primary colored tunnels and slides than anywhere else I've ever taken them.  It was a perfect last day before heading back to the islands for awhile.
     It was a quickly organized trip for the sole purpose of taking care of my son's eye, but it was a much needed respite from the hectic work and school routine we've been in the last few months and a much needed time to catch up with family back home. Now, it's time to get back for the final push towards summer, when life on the island quiets down vastly as everyone else goes on vacation, the trade winds slow, and the waters surrounding the atoll become smooth like glass, making it perfect diving weather.  As we prepare to head out in the morning, I look forward to our next adventure, even as I reflect upon the current one that is sadly coming to an end...

April 19, 2011-Living in the 1900's...

     For our last full day in the small Alabama town of Huntsville, my dad and I took the boys to Burritt on the Mountain, which is a now a living museum built by a local doctor back in the 1930's as his retirement home.  Having no heirs, Dr. Burritt willed the house and its surrounding 167 acres on Round Top Mountain to the city upon his death in 1955. Since that time, the land surrounding the doctor's mansion has been transformed into a historic park showcasing several restored 19th century homes from around the South, including a working barnyard and even a church. In all the years I lived and grew up in Huntsville, I had never been to the Mansion.  Of course, it has expanded a bit since I was a permanent resident of Alabama, but the Mansion itself (which is unusual because it was built in an X shape) was here then.  It's funny how we often don't take the time to visit the interesting and beautiful places right in our backyards. Instead, on vacations and weekends, we plan trips to far away places that take hours to get to. For me now, getting back to Alabama takes actual days, so I act more like a tourist when visiting my "home town."
     This past summer, we visited the Huntsville Botanical Gardens to see their annual "Tree Houses" exhibit and attended the traveling "Star Wars" exhibit at the Space and Rocket Center the day before leaving. This trip, we enjoyed not just the Burritt museum, but also hiking and playing on Monto Sano mountain.  We often think our home towns are boring when we've been there all our growing up years, but there are always quaint sightseeing or interesting historical areas to visit, even in the smallest of places.  It's too bad it took me having my own kids and living on an island really far away from here to really explore these treasures of the city of my birth, but it's better than never exploring them at all.  The best part is that my kids were actually really excited about checking out the 19th century homes and barnyards at Burritt today, which makes it even more fun for mom!

April 18, 2011-What Blog?

     For the first time ever, maybe, since I started this writing adventure online back in July, I found myself waking up on WEDNESDAY morning here in Alabama panicked a bit because I had forgotten totally about writing the past couple of days.  Well, that's not completely true, I guess. I do remember thinking on TUESDAY about what I should write about for MONDAY, which was kind of a lazy day with nothing much to report, but other than that brief "what to write" moment, you could have asked me about my blog, and my immediate response would have been "What blog?"  Sorry about that...I'm back now and ready to rock and roll. I'm sure you've been waiting with baited breath to see what I had to say.  :) Keep waiting....nothing exciting to report for Monday.  Just an average, ordinary, do a couple of hours of work than lay around the house kind of day.  At least it wasn't "a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day" like Alexander has in the well known children's book.  The good news is we are all still alive and doing well here in Alabama, but we are preparing to head back later this week to the islands. Everyone seems to be ready to go, missing friends and such. Personally, I miss the routine and structure of our lives there.  It may get mundane and tedious at times, but without a schedule or routine, I feel a bit lost and useless.  Heck, even the blog takes a hit! :)  We all need a purpose for life day in and day out, and the duties of my present job and raising my kids are the two biggest chunks of that purpose.  All the rest is icing on the cake, such as my fiance and my house and recreation on the weekends in general.  So, I'm looking forward to getting back to my purpose in life, but also my kind of recreation, scuba diving with my honey and hanging out on the beach of my "home" island!

April 17, 2011-My Children's Bucket List...

     Today was filled with "adventure" for my babies from first thing in the morning, waking up to their Easter baskets outside their bedroom door and egg hunts in bare feet on the cold, hard ground of my parent's backyard in the Alabama spring time to fulfilling several items on my oldest son's bucket list, it was a busy, busy day! My mom was a bit surprised, I think, by how excited the boys got about our "week early" Easter morning celebration. She commented, "It's like Christmas," and it was.  Even though their Easter baskets were mostly candy with a small, inexpensive toy and a book about Easter to go with each basket, they love waking up to the surprise of something waiting for them outside their door, and they LOVE to hunt eggs outside! The last few years, our egg hunts have taken place at my fiance's beach shack, usually after a night of camping out beforehand, so we were not prepared for how cold it would be outside in our bare feet for egg hunting this morning.  Even though we were limited to only one egg hunt due today due to the chill in the air, it was still just as exciting with repeated searches for the one lost "hard to find" egg (these are eggs I bought which look like rocks, trees, and grass because my oldest is getting quite good at hunting, so I wanted to make it more challenging, but it turned out to be a bit too challenging for mom, the egg hider) and warming our feet by the "gas" fire (which the boys love to "turn on" whether they are chilled or not).  I had forgotten, I suppose, how cold the weather can still be in the Alabama spring time.  The ground felt almost frozen.  My son said, "My feet are burning" after hopping around looking for eggs for several minutes.  Because of this, they didn't ask to hide and hunt again as they usually do every year because it was simply too chilly.
     After a morning of sugar highs and running around the back yard barefoot, we headed out to an afternoon movie.  "Rango" was the selection of the day.  After that, we ate at IHOP, then drove to a local park to let the kid's run out their energy. Upon arriving in the parking lot, we heard the tinkling musical sounds of an ice cream truck. Because his little brother had gotten ice cream from the ice cream truck before big brother and I arrived in the states this trip, my oldest had been begging to get ice cream from an ice cream truck, so even though we just ate, Grampa indulged them.  As he wandered toward the park with his "push pop," my son said, "Yea, ice cream truck, check. Five Guys Burgers and Fries last night, check! I'm getting to do all the things I wanted to do."  I laughed and told my mom, "that's his bucket list."  Maybe our bucket list should be more like the kids'. 1. Get ice cream from an ice cream truck. 2. Go to Five Guys Burgers and Fries for dinner. 3. Eat a cheese omelet and have hot chocolate at IHOP. 4. Play tennis with Grampa. 5. Get a Nerf Dart gun.  Hmmmm...if I was thinking like a kid, what would my bucket list be?  1. Visit zoos and aquariums every chance I get. 2. Get a dog. 3. Get the largest bubble wand I can find and blow bubbles with it.  4. Go to my favorite Mexican
restaurant and eat all the chips and white Queso dip I can stomach. 5. Buy several new books and spend all weekend reading.  Well, that doesn't sound too bad, and the thing about a kid's bucket list is that they are usually all very realistic and doable! :)  I'll get right on fulfilling that list as soon as possible! What would your bucket list be if you were thinking like a kid?

April 16, 2011- Tie Dyed Eggs and Alien Eye Patches...

     Since we will have just have gotten back on Easter Sunday, and the kids will be with their dad, Gammy, Grampa, the boys, and I are celebrating the holiday a week early.  We found a tie-dye Easter egg kit at "Wally World" and made some pretty cool eggs for hiding tomorrow! At 7 and 9, my boys have not yet grown tired of these fun holiday traditions.  I will miss these activities as they grow older and lose their "kid vision" of the world.  They had as much fun playing with the left over dye decorating folded paper towels with smiley faces as they did decorating the actual hard boiled eggs!
     Tonight, we were also finally able to pick up my baby's new glasses.  In addition to the glasses, his special eye patches I ordered last week came in the mail.  He was very excited to put on the black patch with green aliens on it to accompany his new eyes.  He looks quite handsome in them, and we have plenty of pictures to show for it.  He really has been a trooper about it, but it will be interesting to see how it goes now that he is required to wear the patch and glasses for 8-10 hours a day for the next few months. He has only worn the patch only for up to 5 hours, sometimes breaking that up into 2 1/2 hour segments, so he still has a ways to go. Because he can see out of the right eye and has been using it so efficiently for so long, he has trouble understanding the importance of practicing with his weak eye. We are trying to emphasize to him that he needs to try, but when you are trying for something you never really knew you were without, it's difficult to see the logic in it. :)
    The good thing is that the excitement of the Easter bunny possibly leaving some treats for them in the morning got him through the rest of the evening with the patch and glasses on.  My oldest was even more excited than the younger one, saying he knew he wouldn't sleep well because he was looking forward to seeing what the bunny dropped off over the night.  It's so much fun to be a kid, isn't it?  And it's even more fun to get to be a kid again while watching them as the mom this time around.  :)  Happy Easter a little early everyone!!

April 15, 2011- This time next week...

    This time next week, I'll be back in the islands.  For the first time in several years, I am really ready to go home.  I miss my fiancee, my home, the warm weather, the beach, and even work. One of my co-workers e-mailed the other day and told me that it was "too quiet" in the office where we both work.  She missed the sounds of my boys playing after school in my office and all the teachers who normally are chatting and laughing throughout the hallways and in the teacher training room who are assigned elsewhere for a few weeks.  I miss them all too, and I was thankful to be missed at the place I invest so much of my time and energy. You hope and expect for family and friends to miss you, but to be missed at work too always makes your career choice feel worthwhile. It's so good to catch up with my parents and friends in the states, but my home is now Kwajalein.
     I'll admit, before moving into my new home on the island in November, it was often painful to come on a trip with my family and have to come back to the small dorm room on the atoll.  I didn't miss it or look forward to returning. It's amazing how just having that place to be with the boys has brought home back to me there.  I am still astounded by how much the physical house has made all the difference in transforming my existence there from working tirelessly to make the few moments I had with my baby and my boys the best they could be under the circumstances to the everyday blessing of spending the good, bad, ugly, and treasured moments of life all together in the comfort of our own home.  Having room to grow, live, and love in our very own space has made all the difference. Before the house, I kept thinking that it shouldn't matter where I live because it's about the time I spend with my family, but without a place to spend that time, how can we enjoy life?
     As the saying goes, home is where the heart is, right? So why didn't my BQ feel like home? Well, I've decided that I was looking at that statement the wrong way while living there.  Home is where the heart is, but the heart is not always in the home.  My heart is with my finace and my boys, and my BQ room did not come with either of them, so it became to me only a temporary place to lay my head and keep my stuff until the day I could be together with all of them more permanently.  Life takes place now all together in our "permanent" home on the island, so my heart is back there with my finace and our memories.  Life is not complete without all three of them, so I can't wait until this time next week to settle in back home for awhile.

April 14, 2011- So Many Books, So Little Time!!!

     The electronic book revolution has not taken over this island girl yet, as I cannot wrap my head around simply "downloading" my reading material and no longer needing to step foot inside those wonderful institutions called the library and the bookstore. Today, for the second time on this trip, we headed to the local bookstore/coffee shop to browse and look for some books my fiance and I have been assigned by our wedding officiant to study between now and next summer.  Whether by myself, with friends, or with family, I can spend hours wandering the aisles of a book store, and I usually leave only because my arms are hurting from the pile of books weighing me down that I have decided to purchase. If I lived in the states, I would most likely have to limit or ban myself from these places or at least retrain myself to use the library ONLY for all my reading needs because I would be broke otherwise!
    I love the possibilities of learning something new, finding answers to questions, and discovering a new adventure to indulge in or escape to another world that reading brings me, so to be surrounded with all those resources in one place and to have white chocolate mochas and Asiago cheese soft pretzels at my fingertips as well is a little piece of heaven to me. Of course, when I am there with family, I cannot become quite so lost in time as I can on my own, but this does not stop me from spending the same amount of time and money in these stores. The thing I love most about going to the bookstore as a mother is how much my children enjoy it too. With the fantastic kid's sections they have now, it's easy to keep them occupied and content while Gammy and I look for our own paper and ink pleasures.  My oldest son can never seem to get enough of books. In fact, he didn't even know we were headed to the bookstore when he asked to go as we took off in the car.  This made my mom think of title of this blog, "so many books, so little time."  That saying applies so perfectly in his case. He usually has no less than 3 books going at one time and still finds more he "just has to have!"  I limited him and his brother to 3 today, and although he had to make a choice and leave one behind this time, he was still very thankful for his new finds, and buying books is one thing I do not mind doing for them and spending my hard earned dollars on.
     I'm sure some day I will try out the new electronic books and book readers and find great convenience in them as well as possibly save a bit of money, but for now, I am happy to slide my hands over the decorated paper cover of a new hardback and flip through the thick pages, skimming for information or looking ahead to the next chapter without having to boot anything up or use my fingertips to scroll down.  I am content to pick up my book and feel the weight of it in my hand as I take my cup of coffee out on the back patio to warm up from the cold air conditioned comfort inside the house and escape the noise of the TV and video game generation that my children have grown way too accustomed to being a part of as soon as they wake up on a weekend or vacation time. It's something I can do without relying on the technology of this world to assist me. This is one area technology has not completely taken over yet, and I 'm happy to NOT go "paperless" when it comes to my favorite past time of reading, at least for now.  After all, there are "so many books and so little time."

April 13, 2011- Home Schooling and Educational Heros!

    Hats off to all of you out there who home school. It was something I considered heavily before I had my first child because I figured I'd love it being as I am a teacher. What better opportunity to do what I love and with those I love most?  How great would that be?  Well, turns out maybe not so great for me. Each day while away, the boys and I have been sitting down to complete school work a couple of hours a day, but it's been a bit of a struggle.  I've done this before on trips during the school year with just the oldest one, who is a bit more of a people pleaser than my strong willed youngest child, but with both of them to tutor through the weeks they're missing school right now, I feel a bit ganged up on.  I have started letting them know the night before and then several minutes before the time we are scheduled to start to try and cut down on the whining they may ensue from having to do homework, but then once we sit down, there's the non-stop nonsense singing and wiggling my first grader does from his chair while his pencil sits in his hand above his paper as he "thinks" about what he needs to write on his worksheet, and then there's the older one chiming in on what the answer should be on the first grader's work or in general just being more interested in what his brother is working on than what he is supposed to completing.  So, the separation to different tables to work cuts down on that a bit, but how do the teachers do it for 6 hours a day! I know, having been a teacher myself and to kids the same age, how challenging a job it is and also how different kids can be with the teacher than with their mom, but I also understand more fully what my baby's teacher means when she tells us on his progress report that he has all the intelligence and skills his needs academically to succeed, but that she has trouble keeping him motivated to do his work and has to push him a bit to get it done. I now know, even though I was not surprised when she told us that, EXACTLY what she deals with and means by that statement.
     I think all parents should be required to spend a certain amount of time volunteering in their child's classroom from preschool on up to truly appreciate what educators do for their children and to understand their precious darlings a little more fully and realistically. Not all teachers are created equal, of course, but those who are truly passionate about their chosen career path as educators are a blessing to our kids. If you have chosen the path of being your child's educator than you deserve the same appreciation, if not more, than those who are being paid and trained to do the same job in the educational system.  I say you are heroes!! As a trained and practicing teacher and a parent myself, I know what you deal with every day from both ends of the spectrum, and you are truly outstanding individuals! Thank you for giving so much to the world's children and our future.

April 12, 2011- Spending a lifetime together...

    It seems this trip has been all about weddings and marriage. Of course, that's not what brought me here, but it has definitely turned out to be a large part of where my thoughts and plans have been focused now that my baby is doing well and in the home stretch of his recovery.  With a wedding a little over a year away, there's lots to do, and not a lot of opportunities to do it in.  One of the things I have become more aware of while looking for wedding dresses, locations, etc...is narrowing down what kind of wedding we both want and do not want. From the start, my sweetheart and I decided we very much wanted our special day to be a family affair and just a really good time for everyone to spend together, including us, of course.  We don't want anyone to be anxious about the details of it, and we want it to be simply a celebration of all the things we love as well as a celebration of both our families meeting and being all together for the first time.
     The funny thing is that in the midst of all the talk and planning of what we want and don't want our wedding to be, I keep finding myself hearing about and being in the presence of people who are celebrating not their wedding, but the spending of their lives together.  From my brother and sister-in-law's 10 year anniversary celebration to visiting with the woman who made many a special occasion dress over the years, including my prom dress, the theme before me has been the importance not of the actual wedding day, but of the ensuing years together and how you handle those.  Of course, a wedding is a celebration of the beginning of your years as one, but it is hardly the most important part of spending a lifetime with those you love. I took my wedding dress to a family friend today who has been a part of making dresses for special moments in my life as a teenager and young adult to have her make a couple of important alterations for it to be just right for my special day next summer. It's been probably 15 years since I've sat down in her "sewing office" in the back of her house where "back door friends are the best" and since then she has lost her husband of 63 years.  That's almost unheard of now a days, to be married faithfully to one person for that long. And the way she talked about him was like that young person so in love and in awe of her chosen partner.
     That's what it is all about...like my brother said about most days still feeling like he and his wife are newlyweds or like our 80 year old friend who still speaks adoringly of her husband of 63 years, a wedding should be a looking forward to the years of life ahead of you, whatever they may bring. I want to look back and say it was a wonderful, special day, but mostly I want to look back and think of it as the day we became one in a million together, the day we cemented what we knew from so early on...that we were made for each other and were lucky enough to have the privilege to be joined together in the bonds of sacred matrimony no matter what colors we choose or what flowers served as our centerpiece or the type of cake we decided to serve, what matters is that we are committing to each other, through thick and thin, choosing to spend a lifetime together and loving it!

April 11, 2011- The Power of the Tongue!

     There's a few verses in the Bible about the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death..."  In James 3, it talks about taming the tongue, how both praise and evil can come out of our mouths to corrupt or uplift ourselves and others. Sometimes, we don't realize how much our words affect others. They can be prophetic, speaking bad things over ourselves and others as we criticize and keep in the front of our mind all the terrible things that could happen to us, which we bring to life by simply thinking about these worse case scenarios all the time.  Consider how a bad dream makes you wake up feeling yucky, and if you don't make a concerted effort to put that dream out of your mind, it leads to a bad morning because your mind is set on the negative from the start.  Positive thinking draws positive energy to you and others.  Think about how one ugly comment from a co-worker or friend in the middle of the day can change what was another regular day into a horrible one because you can't stop thinking about what was said and how much it hurt, analyzing why they would say something like that and worrying about how to deal with it.   On the other hand, consider how a compliment or uplifting word from that same co-worker or friend can bring you out of a slump.  Isn't it better to focus our thoughts and words on positive, uplifting views of the world and others?  Nobody is perfect, and we all have bad days. We all judge others sometimes and put ourselves before others because we are human, but we do have the choice each day to direct our thoughts one way or the other.  We can choose to use our tongues for good not evil.  Thinking about what we say before we say it is key in this situation.  If our thoughts are always on the negative, then those are the type of words that will flow from our mouths hurting not only others, but also ourselves.  Who wants to be miserable all the time?  Those who put their mind on miserable things each day will be miserable people to be around and in turn affect others miserably.  It's time to put our mind on things above like love, kindness, and consideration of others before ourselves.  I choose to use the power of my tongue for life, not death, to uplift and not to put down. Won't you choose that today too and make the world a much happier and more uplifting place?

April 10, 2011-Family Ties...

     My dad's family is from a place called Sand Mountain.  There's no sand up there that I can tell because it's not anywhere near the beach, and it's probably considered more of a hill than a mountain, but it is part of beautiful North Alabama, and most of my dad's side of the family has been born, raised, and never left there.  Since my brother and his wife are visiting, we took a drive up there today to visit with the gang.  Every time we go, it's as if we've never left. Cousins stop by here and there just to see us.  I always feel slightly chagrined when they come over to visit as if we are some sort of celebrities, but they always thank us for making the drive to the family homestead (it used to be my grandparent's home and now is inhabited by my dad's oldest brother and his wife) to make it easier for them to gather and chat together.
     Mostly, we simply sit in the front yard and catch up on each other's lives.  Of course, everyone else is intimately involved with each other daily as they all live within a few miles in their small town on the mountain, so where we live and what we are doing is always a topic of conversation.  My immediate family has not stayed in one place after growing up in North Alabama like the rest of the family. We are all scattered across the states and even the world since graduating from high school and college. Those who never leave their home towns sometimes have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to leave, but I can't imagine not having seen the parts of the world I've been privileged enough to work and play in over the years.  There's nothing wrong with staying close to home, but there's still so much world out there to view. For me, it has expanded my understanding of people and how the world works as well as encouraging me to love my life even more, realizing how blessed I am compared to so many others.  I may have learned to dive in Alabama, but would have never had the opportunity to view planes from WWII on the bottom of the sea or swim with Manta Rays. I probably never would have found my passion in teaching English as a Second Language without the opportunity to try it at the College of the Marshall Islands on the island of Guegeegue without the gracious dean there who felt just my native knowledge of English was enough to teach developmental classes to his students before I even had my degree.  I may never have had my island boys, and I definitely never would have met my California born and Oregon raised fiance without the call of the islands on both of us.  My life has been shaped as much by my leaving home experiences as it has by my parents or my education growing up in Alabama.  I am more likely to take on new experiences and go new places because of my willingness to step out of my comfort zone.  My family ties will always bring me back to Alabama to visit and maybe even live again some day, but for now, I'm content to travel the world and live my small island life and look forward to more "out of the zone" experiences as I grow up! :)

April 9, 2011-The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love...

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "raising children is the hardest job I have ever taken on!" My current out of the house job is to train other early childhood and school age teachers and parents how to handle their children and raise them with the social, cognitive, character, and life skills they need to do well, and more days than not, my patience runs long and my spirits stay high in order to perform my job well and help the teachers, parents, and children stay on track. I encourage them in positive discipline approaches to working with children and provide understanding from both a parent and teacher perspective of the challenging of working with kids. Unfortunately, once you wrap my poor emotions into the equation and add a little stress and lack of sleep along with a strong willed child who belongs to me, my patience sometimes runs thin, and the "horns" come out as I have heard my son's dance and PE teacher describe what happens to her when they are not behaving, and she is feeling a bit frustrated with them.  I raise my voice and let my emotions take over for a bit as I did today when my darling threw up in the car as soon as he climbed in the back seat, claiming it was car sickness.  The car hadn't even been started yet! We struggle with this every time he gets in a car, on an airplane or boat, and I don't doubt that he gets a tummy ache on a bumpy plane ride to Roi or a long twisty car ride on a road trip, but to actually throw up from motion sickness when the only motion is his own body climbing into the back seat, c'mon.
     To give you some background, I was just as "dramatic" as my son can be, and I was definitely the queen of motion sickness growing up, so I  know a thing or two about it, but children never think their parents understand what they are going through when they are little anyway, right? I've entertained him countless times in the car to keep his mind off being sick, provided cool air, ginger ale or sprite and crackers, counseled him to close his eyes and not think about it, and he's always done just fine with these strategies and actually never thrown up from motion sickness in the car with me, so I felt frustrated when his irrational fear took over and caused him to gag in the car before we even got started. For him, it really can be a "mind over matter" issue, but he doesn't trust in that yet.  He automatically goes to living in fear of being sick, and because I know how he feels, I want him to try and work it out, for his own sake and everyone else's who has to ride in the car with him.  But that's where I need to put myself in his young mind again. I have to try and remember what it felt like when I was his age, and sometimes I forget to do this.
     Of course, if this had been the first "run-in" mom and son had today, I probably wouldn't have reacted so strongly, but it was the last of my patience with him and his "drama"after very little sleep the night before because he was coughing half the night sleeping beside me in the bed, and I had no cough suppressant at my parent's house to give him in the middle of the night, and two hours earlier in the day of struggling to get him to do his school work that he has to catch up on before returning to the island, and then literally getting sick in my parent's car on our way to meet friends less than 5 minutes away before we even left the driveway, which all added up to mom's "freak-out." You'd think after 9 years of raising kids and all the education and training I've had at work in the same subject that I would have mastered how to handle my own mounting frustrations and challenges with my babies, but alas, I'm not perfect, and I frequently make mistakes. Thank goodness for a God who forgives me my faults, sons who quickly forget how I flipped out and love on me five minutes later, and a fiance who carries me through it all, reminding me that it's never worth getting that worked up over.  That's what apologies are for, right?  That's where forgiveness comes in.  There's always something to be learned from these experiences, no matter how little or how often they happen.
     What I want to learn is to remember the horrible feeling I have after a blow-up, so that I don't allow myself to get in that position again with my children and what I hope my boys can learn is that adults and parents make mistakes too, and that the best thing to do is to accept responsibility for those mistakes, to make amends, and to try and make a better choice next time.  Hopefully, my imperfections will help them to feel even more comfortable coming to me as they age and have their own "growing pains" and make their own mistakes, so I can be there to remind them that I love them no matter what and that if they need help, I am always there for them.  Raising children is the toughest job I've ever had, but it is also the only job I have ever become so emotionally invested in, the only job that carries such a burden of responsibility to those you are serving, such importance as you are caring for another's life and helping them to learn right from wrong, good from bad, and hopefully providing them with the tools to live up to fulfill their purpose and potential in this crazy place we call home, so no wonder if causes me to stress out sometimes, afraid I am not going to be able to do all those things right all the time, and so I don't, but that's okay. That's life.  It's not perfect all the time, but I wouldn't give back my babies or the experience they have afforded me for the world, and I can only pray that by revealing to them my very flawed humanness, they will someday understand how much I loved them and only wanted to do what was best even when I didn't have the ability myself to do so and know that it's okay if they mess up too because that's just a part of life, learning, and growing.

April 8, 2011-An Anniversary Celebration!!

     Tonight, we celebrated my brother and sister-in-law's 10th wedding anniversary with old friends at the home of one of my brother's best friends from high school. It was a fabulous party, especially considering that the host is the catering director for a local upscale catering spot and organized a delicious array of speciality foods as well as a beautiful flower arrangement for the centerpiece and "reservations" at her own comfortable home for all of us to enjoy the feast. And the "awesomeness" didn't stop there, as my mom had arranged a special guest to stop by and sing the Hawaiian Wedding Song to the lucky couple. This guest was the youth pastor at our family's church when my brother was a teenager there, and now he sings full time for a living, so that was a real treat!
     It was good to catch up with old friends who we used to spend a lot of time with growing up, and it's amazing to think how we were the age of our kids running around the host's house tonight while our parents chatted and played cards not that long ago.  Now, we are the parents and adults, and it's difficult for me to imagine my own kids being in that same situation a few more years down the road.  The neatest part for me was when the guest asked my brother and sister in law to share the story of their engagement, wedding ceremony, and how they feel about each other still today.  When he asked them whether or not they still felt like newlyweds 10 years later, my brother did not hesitant to respond "yes, most days we do."  Everyone has challenging days, but to be able to say they mostly still feel like newlyweds in this day and and age a decade into marriage is truly a blessing.  The thing is I would never have expected anything different from the two of them because they are so obviously meant to be and made for each other in every sense of the word. There's not many people you can say that about right from the start, but they are part of the lucky few.  Even though they dated about 3 years before getting married, they said they both knew early on they would be together forever, so to speak.  That's how I feel about my fiance as well. We both took the long route to get to each other and had to go through our share of difficult experiences along the way, but it's worth it to know I waited and struggled through those times in order to be ready for the special bond and relationship I now have with my sweetheart. I feel certain my brother and his wife didn't mind the wait either since it brought them to each other.
     All the romantic, ideal love cliches really ring true for me, and I am still amazed quite often that he would choose me.  I'm thankful for that and for what my brother and sister in law have.  It's so wonderful to see two people so content with each other and living life to the fullest together.  It just proves that those 50 year marriages are still possible. It's just people jumping into and out of marriage too easily that has changed the statistics. Love itself is no different. Relationships are no tougher. We have simply become the "microwave" generation, expecting everything to happen and sort itself out "in less than 5 minutes," and we are not willing to wait for the "gourmet" dish of a relationship that we could have if we weren't in such a rush to be satisfied right away.  It's sad really, but it's all too true.  We all make mistakes now and again, but hopefully we learn form them and start fresh, making better choices the next time around, not settling for less or taking the easy way out because it seems quicker and less painful.  My brother and sister-in-law's willingness to wait it out for the right relationship and then commit to it for the long run is something to be admired, and my hats off to them. And with that I'll say "Happy Anniversary and wishing you 10+ more honeymoon years to come!"

April 7, 2011-Choosing New Eyes...

     This morning, my baby ordered his first pair of glasses.  Of course, he chose one of the most expensive pair of frames at the local Wal-Mart optometry center, but that's okay.  Whatever will make him feel most comfortable and normal with his new eyes, at least for now. He is 20-20 in his good eye, so he has only a minimal prescription in that side of the glasses, but on the weaker side, which is the left, he has a fairly thick bi-focal lens to magnify and perfect the sight the corrective lens was put in to correct which the cataract had taken away over the years of his very young life.  At first, I was concerned that we had taken such a long trip away from school, home, and life back on the island that was not necessary since he's done now with the surgery and doctor's appointments until the summer, when he will have another follow up to check on how he sight has improved, but now I realize how important it was to stay as the glasses with take 7-10 days to be made and arrive, and it will give us extra time to help him get used to wearing the patch and glasses before he goes back to school for the last 2 months of the year.  The doctor suggests we give the patching therapy through the summer to ensure we've done all we can encourage the weak eye to see again, so the fun begins now.  Mr. Gant is excited about his new glasses because he says that will help his weak eye see better. At this point, we are very encouraged because if he holds pictures or text up very close to the weak eye with the good eye patched, he can identify some objects, colors, and even a large print word here and there, so we agree that the magnification the glasses will provide could make a huge difference.  But for today, it's a waiting game, hoping and praying the glasses come in sooner than expected, so we can get started sooner rather than later opening up his world with his new eyes!

April 6, 2011-Now, the hard part begins...

     "Doctor, you know they live overseas, so what do you offer in terms of rehabilitation over the next two weeks before they return to the islands?" my dad asked at my son's final doctor's appointment after having his congenital cataract removed almost 3 full weeks ago. "Well, the first step is surgery to remove the cataract and a successful recovery, which has gone very well. Next, is the patching therapy and glasses for which I am writing the prescription now, but as I have said before, we've done the easy part, now comes the hard part."  In 21 years, my son's doctor has only known one child in the same situation at the same age who has regained back any site after living with a cataract for 7 years using very little sight in the affected eye.  Now, it could be that he had some sight in the beginning years, which diminished as the cataract grew, and that's the theory I'm going with because that would mean his brain has some memory of being able to use that eye more fully and can regain that memory and put it into practice with the patching therapy.
     Patching for him means the good eye is covered with a patch underneath his new glasses he'll be receiving in a few days in order to make the weak eye work harder to focus and regain recognition of things in its view.  He will have to use the patch all but 2 hours of his waking day, which is about 10 hours a day from the time he normally gets up to the time he goes to bed.  In order to get him used to wearing the patch and see where he is at with his sight in the weak eye, we are going to patch it a little each day, working up to the amount of time he will need to have it on by the time he gets his glasses.  Today, we left it on for 2 hours, but were very impressed by how well he got around with it on. He is able to see shapes of things and some light and dark it appears because he was able to navigate around furniture and up and down stairs with minimal trouble. TV watching and reading is not doable right now, but hopefully will be the more he practices with the weak eye.  Overall, I am believing his case will go against the grim statistics of 1 child in 21 years being able to gain back eyesight.  They just don't know my Mr. Gant! Either way, it will not be an easy next few months.  He has only had to wear it a couple of hours a day so far, and he was already asking when he could take it off, so it will be difficult to get used to wearing it all the time once he receives his glasses.  But we're not scared of the hard part, in fact, we welcome it. Bring it on!!

April 5, 2011- Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love you, Tomorrow...

     All I can think about today is going to pick up my sweet boys tomorrow! My littlest one has what we hope will be his last doctor's appointment to determine if everything with his eye has healed enough so that he can get us started on his rehabilitation routine. Currently, he can still only see shapes of things out of the affected eye, which is not a positive sign, but we are not going to give up! That said, I am not only looking forward to chatting with the doctor and putting a plan into place to help my son strengthen sight in his eye, but I am also looking forward to simply spending time with my darlings! I have chatted with them on the phone, and I've enjoyed having the uninterrupted time with my parents to catch up the last few days, but it's time to have my boys next to me, so I can hug them whenever I want and know they are safe, sound, and happy just by looking over at them! Being a parent is truly a tough, but rewarding job, knowing you are responsible for teaching your kids so many important life lessons.  The funny thing is that they teach you as much as you teach them in the process of growing up with you, and I would not understand as much about the world, life, people, and even relationships if I had never had them.  They complete me, and I miss them so much! So, in the words of Annie, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow, you're only a day a-way!!"  Can't wait for tomorrow; can't you tell? 

April 4, 2011- Dresses, Invitations, and Locations!

      It was another busy day hitting the bridal shops to reconsider those dresses I've been mulling over in my mind since last week's first day of dress shopping. The local shopowner where I found the 2 dresses I had narrowed the search down to had a sign out front saying she would be back at 11 when we arrived a little after 10 (their normal opening time), so we figured she had something to take care that couldn't wait, and we headed to the mall next door to look for some other things on my list while waiting for her to return.  I was a bit nervous to go back as I was so undecided on which direction to go with the 2 totally different dresses. I had ruled out one other which simply didn't seem enough like a bride's dress, but the final two were both very bridal! After finding a few things we needed and a few things we didn't need, but purchased anyway at the mall, we headed back to the dress shop.  It didn't take long for me to find some more dresses to try just in case as well as the two I had picked out originally, and interestingly enough, I ended up with the only one of the original dress picks along with another new one to choose from. 
     To help with the decision, my mom took a picture of me in each dress with my camera, so I could "see" myself from a different perspective, so to speak. And that worked! It was obvious which was the better choice after this, so we said "yes" to a dress and carried it home.  I can't believe that part is done.  In fact, there's more than one important task that we were able to take care of today because I found the perfect invitation kit at Target of all places that was so affordable and gave us the option of creating some elements of the invite on our own (which I like, but which can also be time consuming if you have to do all of it by yourselves), but I simply couldn't pass it up! I had researched a bit online about the costs of invitations, then had decided to create my own using publisher software, then went back and found less expensive invitations online as part of an online wedding website, but never felt completely comfortable with any of it until discovering the invites today! Now it is getting really exciting! We even have a tentative minister for the ceremony set up. He's my cousin, and he thinks he'll have a convetion or mission trip around the time we will be getting married in Oregon, so keep your fingers crossed that it will all work out!
     Upon arriving back home and connecting up by phone with my fiance to update him on the breaking news conerning our wedding planning and preparation, we ended up chatting for quite awhile about location options. Our thought all along has been to have the wedding on his family's propery in Oregon, but upon considering this more fully, we realized it may be hard to find a large enough flat spot to set up chairs and tables for guests during the ceremony and reception, so we are keeping an open mind, but also pursuing other possible options.  The key here is to be affordable! :)  So, we are tossing the ball around to the family in Oregon to recruit their help and to see what ideas and thoughts they come up with for a wedding venue at their homes or around town. After all, it takes the effort of a family to organize a wedding! At least for us it does... :-) 

April 3, 2011- Southern Belle or Island Girl??

      Before I left for Alabama last week, I was craving fried chicken. I realized I hadn't had a piece in a very long time because there's no KFC in the islands, and I don't generally cook fried foods at home because they are simply not that healthy, and my eating habits have developed into more realistic ones for a 36 year old mom than they were when I was a teenager in the South.  The fact is that in the South, you don't have to go to KFC to enjoy fried foods. They are all over the place, so when we headed over to Crackel Barrel for some down home Southern cooking tonight, I ended up ordering the Sunday Fried Chicken special with mashed potatoes smothered in gravy, fried okra, and splenda sweetened iced tea.  The funny thing is, having fried chicken didn't satisfy my craving like I thought it would.  In fact, I remember fried chicken being much tastier than that. This was heavily breaded chicken skin, nice and crunchy like I used to enjoy eating it, but somehow it wasn't the same.  And I don 't think it was because the restaurant doesn't make good fried chicken. It is because I'm not used to eating like a Southern Belle anymore.  Sushi, grilled chicken and rice, pancit, lumpia, Greek salad, and all kinds of other Asian and island style dishes have become the preferred fare for me now.  Of course, some of these are fried as well, but a majority of the things my fiance and I prepare for ourselves on a daily basis are not of the greasier variety.  I suppose this doesn't make me any less of a Southern Belle, but there are some other things I've noticed that have proven I have become a bit more "cosmopolitan," so to speak during my years living on the atoll and traveling to different places.
     For example, now I notice the differences between the South and the rest of the world as soon as I hit that first Southern airport on my way to visit family. In Houston a few days ago, the accents, style of dress, make-up, and hair, and even the way Southerners carry themselves and interact with each other stood out to me.  It had a strong familiarity for me, but it also felt very distant from who I am now.  The homes and look of the countryside driving around Alabama has its own distinctive flavor now that I have seen the landscapes of Europe, Oregon, New York and Washington state, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Bali, and the Marshall Islands among others.  More often than not, I no longer refer to a trip back to Alabama and "going home." It's usually stated as "going to visit family" much more often than it was a few years ago when I was still so closely tied to the South. I have lived in the islands only about 7 years less than the amount of time I lived in Alabama full time, so I suppose by now you could say I'm an island girl.  For the very first time on the trip this time, I didn't hesitate when someone asked where I was from to say, "the Marshall Islands" instead of Alabama.  It's interesting, right? How life takes you from one place to another and one experience to another and molds you into not necessarily a different person, but a more unique person whose life story is all its own.  I will never stop being a Southern Belle on some level, but I also believe I will always share a bond with others from the islands as I am just as much an island girl today as I was born a Southern Belle over 3 decades ago.

April 2, 2011- "Real Simple" Wedding Planning...

    The adventure of planning our wedding for the summer of 2012 has officially begun with the purchase of a wedding magazine from Real Simple.  I spent much of the day today browsing through the magazine, circling good ideas and information I didn't know that I found helpful, and writing notes to myself for sharing with my fiancee when I am back on the island, and we have a chance to sit down and sort out the details.  The other detail my mom took me to work on today was trying on dresses! Since we will have limited chances between now and next summer with access to shopping for my dress and my fiance's suit, I decided I better start getting some ideas now and purchase something if possible or at least place an order, so it was off to the mall and a couple of bridal shops to see what was out there. After a full afternoon of browsing and putting on one dress after another, we wound up with three completely different styles, colors, and types of dresses to mull over. I just wish my fiancee could be here to help me decide.  I know it sounds silly because traditionally, the groom would not see the dress before the wedding day, but I don't think we are a traditional couple.  Of course, I like to think of us an extraordinary couple who have been very lucky to find each other as we are such a perfect fit.  As we have grown closer to each other over the years we've dated, I find myself having trouble making decisions without him. On this trip, in particular, as it is the first one I have taken by myself since October of 2008, I've found myself floundering a bit when he's not here to help me do what we have been doing together the last few vacations, such as making sure we have everything we need planned out and ready to get out and to the airport on time for each leg of our adventure.  :) I've always depended on his input for the most momentous decisions, such as planning our wedding, but it would appear I've leaned on his help more heavily even in a lot of everyday situations I come across now. This is fine by me; I guess I just didn't realize how much I had started to lean on him until more recently. Either way, dependent or not, we're a team now, and that's what teams do, right. They work together! And as far as the details for wedding planning, that's exactly how it should be! I certainly don't want our wedding to be complicated or frustrating or stressful and having us both fully involved and keeping each other on track by focusing only on what we want and staying within our budget will make the journey toward our special day a smooth reality.  So, I will keep the title of this blog in mind as we continue to search out the right dress, wedding website, invitation, flowers, etc...And I'll keep you posted on how it's going. :)  Happy Saturday, wherever you are!  

April 1, 2011- April Fool's Day?

   It's now 12:35 am on April 2nd, and I just realized that today was April Fool's Day, and I didn't even know it.  For me, it was Saturday, April 2nd all day as I e-mailed people back at work where it is April 2nd, and the time that my body is apparently still on because otherwise, I wouldn't be so wide awake right now. So, what did I do today besides sleep in until 10:30 am after going to bed around 11 pm and operating all day on the 31st (stateside time) on about 4 and 1/2 hours of sleep from the 30th?  I caught up with my parents, chatting like there was no tomorrow about anything and everything...they are probably exhausted from my ramblings, but would deny that if I asked them right now because they are my parents and love me.  I guess I'll never know for sure how they feel about that one until my boys are 36 and rambling to catch up with me years from now, and I feel the same thing my parents felt today while listening to me and trying to get a word in edgewise. And I went shopping with them...to the Sam's Club store, to the Apple store, and to one of my favorite places, Barnes and Noble book store.  I can spend literally hours in there or any bookstore for that matter, and thank goodness, so can my parents and even my kids when they are with me.  I just don't see myself ever getting tired of going to bookstores, even when I come back to living within a convenient distance to them again.  I simple get lost in books like nothing else. It was a good day, but I couldn't help thinking about my fiance and children and what they would say, think, do, like, or dislike about anything and everything we were doing and the places we were going. They are an intrinsic part of me now, just as much as my parents were when I was a child or writing has been to me ever since that 6th grade teacher turned me on to journaling.  I miss them terribly when they are not with me, and life is simply not as exciting, funny, or joyful without them.  No offense to my parents. I did have a wonderful time with them, but they have their own separate lives far, far away from mine as my own boys will have from me someday, but for now, the lives of my children, my fiance, and me are all still very intertwined, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Miss you guys and can't wait until we are all together again in a few weeks! :)

March 31, 2011-Lost a day or gained one??

    Somehow I feel I have lost a day even though I actually gained one.  Once arriving in Hawaii, my son and I woke up around 10 am with a short 4 and a 1/2 hours of sleep starting from turning the light off at 5:30 am.  We had to check out by noon, so it was a hectic 2 hours to accomplish the "we made it okay for the first leg of the journey" phone calls to the islands and Alabama, showers and cleaning up tasks, and packing back up the few things we had a chance to take out of our suitcases before heading down to the lobby to check out for the day. Our flight wasn't until 7:20 in the evening, so we stored our luggage at the hotel and headed out for lunch, then an afternoon at the Honolulu Zoo. This was definitely the highlight of the day, especially watching my son get so excited to take pictures for his classmates of the animals they are studying for their research projects at school. He wants to print out the pictures when we return, put them on a poster, and share them with his classmates. He took the pictures based on the animals each of the third graders are studying for their individual reports.  What a great memory he has! I wish mine was still that good. :)  By the end of the afternoon walking around the zoo, the lack of sleep was kicking in hard for me, so we sat down for a few minutes and had an Icee, a big treat for an island born boy who resides in a place that does not have the luxury of an Icee machine in the local convenience store.
    After such a relaxing afternoon and the lack of sleep attacking my brain, I foolishly thought we still had plenty of time to get ready for our 4:20 shuttle to the airport. Well, by the time we had our luggage pulled out of the storage area by the bell hop, turned in an ID to get a key card to the hospitality hotel room in order to change clothes and freshen up for the long night of flying, then actually getting to the right hotel tower, up the elevator, and to the room where we were going to change, we ended up with only about 20 minutes to take care of last minute details, get back down to the lobby with our luggage, return the key, and get outside to jump on the shuttle....well, almost as soon as we walked in the room, they were calling me to tell me the shuttle was there, albeit a little early, but there waiting nonetheless. I still thought we'd be done and down in 5 minutes, which was the time they were scheduled to pick me up in the first place. What I obviously didn't realize at this point is that the jet lag brain had taken over. I simply couldn't move any faster, and we ended up having to tell the shuttle to go on and pay about $20 more for a taxi because I couldn't pull it together in time.  You'd think after so many years traveling back and forth, I'd have learned to budget that extra time for incidentals and such, but it just shows you can't underestimate the debilitating power of operating on a sleep deprived body and brain. :)  Even so, we still made it to the airport in plenty of time, albeit a little poorer, and had a nice dinner with another friend who was traveling from Kwaj to the states to see family, such a fun dinner, in fact, that we had to run to catch the plane during the final boarding call.   I know, I know...that's terrible, right? I believe it was fated to be one of those trips from the day we left this time...I started off in a huff of unpreparedness and stress and was just never able to shake it off. Chalk it up to just another personal experience to back up what I preach to others, but sometimes forget to practice myself..."when you are prepared, it cuts down on the stress for you and your students and makes for a much more fun and less chaotic experience." Hopefully, I will learn from this umpteenth international trip halfway around the world and have a smoother journey on the way back in a couple of weeks.  
    You're wondering when the day that I am writing about is going to end, aren't you...well, technically, it's still March 30 in Hawaii when all of this is happening, so I've gained a day, but somehow it feels I lost one since March 30 in Kwajalein was such a blur. I suppose March 30 actually ended somewhere over the Pacific Ocean or on the mainland between Hawaii and Houston, our first stop in the continental United States and the last one before Alabama.  I don't care enough at this point to figure out exactly when, but the next 12 hours or so were spent either in the air or in a Texas airport, and March 31 really began for me upon seeing my sweet baby at his grandparent's house when we arrived there around 1 pm on the 31st.  I've never seen such a big smile as the one he had looking out the glass patio door when he saw his big brother coming in.  They were so excited to play together again that I received not much more than a couple of big hugs and a "me too" in response to the "I missed and I love you's

March 30. 2011-Blurry Wednesday...

     This day went by in a blur. It consisted of work, work, work in between finishing up stuff I needed to do to get ready to leave on the plane in the evening, and finally pack, pack, pack, and try to remember the things I was bound to forget before getting on the plane where I would no longer have access to my home, belongings, work related materials to study while away, etc...Talk about being one big stress ball! That was me pretty much all day, accompanied by a teary conversation with my fiancee four hours before leaving because I no longer wanted to have to leave.  I wanted to get to my son and be with him, but I just didn't feel ready yet! For a very organized homemaker, and a "you can't be too prepared" educator, this was not a good feeling because I was neither organized nor very prepared today.  Oh well, everybody has their off days.  This was definitely one of mine.  In the end, my son and I made it safely to the terminal with all the essentials we needed for the next three weeks and then some and had an uneventful 7 hour plane ride all the way from Kwaj to Hawaii arriving at our hotel around 5 am just to crash into bed for a few hours before getting up and starting the whole travel process all over again for an additional 24 hours.  At least I won't have to worry about packing or finishing up with work tomorrow.  I only have to worry about getting to the airport on time and catching our flight...Wish me luck!