This time next week, I'll be back in the islands. For the first time in several years, I am really ready to go home. I miss my fiancee, my home, the warm weather, the beach, and even work. One of my co-workers e-mailed the other day and told me that it was "too quiet" in the office where we both work. She missed the sounds of my boys playing after school in my office and all the teachers who normally are chatting and laughing throughout the hallways and in the teacher training room who are assigned elsewhere for a few weeks. I miss them all too, and I was thankful to be missed at the place I invest so much of my time and energy. You hope and expect for family and friends to miss you, but to be missed at work too always makes your career choice feel worthwhile. It's so good to catch up with my parents and friends in the states, but my home is now Kwajalein.
I'll admit, before moving into my new home on the island in November, it was often painful to come on a trip with my family and have to come back to the small dorm room on the atoll. I didn't miss it or look forward to returning. It's amazing how just having that place to be with the boys has brought home back to me there. I am still astounded by how much the physical house has made all the difference in transforming my existence there from working tirelessly to make the few moments I had with my baby and my boys the best they could be under the circumstances to the everyday blessing of spending the good, bad, ugly, and treasured moments of life all together in the comfort of our own home. Having room to grow, live, and love in our very own space has made all the difference. Before the house, I kept thinking that it shouldn't matter where I live because it's about the time I spend with my family, but without a place to spend that time, how can we enjoy life?
As the saying goes, home is where the heart is, right? So why didn't my BQ feel like home? Well, I've decided that I was looking at that statement the wrong way while living there. Home is where the heart is, but the heart is not always in the home. My heart is with my finace and my boys, and my BQ room did not come with either of them, so it became to me only a temporary place to lay my head and keep my stuff until the day I could be together with all of them more permanently. Life takes place now all together in our "permanent" home on the island, so my heart is back there with my finace and our memories. Life is not complete without all three of them, so I can't wait until this time next week to settle in back home for awhile.
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