Well, it's been over 3 months since my son has the congenital cataract in his left eye removed, and he's been attempting to strengthen it through patch therapy and wearing glasses at least 10 hours a day. This week, he had a follow up appointment with his surgeon in Alabama while there on vacation with his dad. Apparently, he can now see the large "E" at the top of the eye chart from about 5 feet away, which is, believe it or not, a gain in sight since the last appointment in April. The funny thing is, my son struggles with finding motivation to wear his patch 10 hours a day and not peek out of any crack he can find in it, and he tries to take the glasses off at every opportunity. This does NOT help improve his sight, but if you think about it, he's never had very strong sight in that eye having had the cataract since birth, and it had only grown larger over time and impaired his vision more, so to him, he does not know what a difference it would make for him to be able to use both his eyes more fully. He's never seen anything in 3-D, so he doesn't really know what that is. He's always used the right eye for sports, reading, etc...and he does very well with that one eye, which has perfect sight, so why would he want to work so hard to see in an eye that has always been useless to him? I understand his perspective, but it still makes me sad. Who knows how much sight he could gain if he had a stronger motivation to work at it?! I am thankful though that he has some sight back, and he has been told by the doctor to continue to wear the patch and glasses until he has no further gains in sight, so we'll see where he is at in another 3 months.
For me, right now, sight or no sight, I miss my babies! Kids are kids and like the rest of us, they are not perfect. We sometimes get annoyed with each other, and sometimes they talk back or frustrate me, but not having them near and having to let go of them so much when they are still so young is one of the most heart breaking things I've ever experienced. As parents, I believe we become so attached to our children that they are like an extension of ourselves, so when they fail or make a mistake, we feel their pain. When they are sad, we are sad. When they are far away, our lives are not complete. The house is quiet, too quiet, without them. Days at work are long as I stay late to avoid having to go home to the emptiness. Sure, I get things done that I would struggle to complete otherwise, but they are all trivial things, things that mean little in comparison to that precious time with my children, who are growing up so fast. They will be gone for another 3 weeks or so, and I can't wait to hug and kiss them when they step off that plane back onto the island they've grown up on and call home.
It's been about a year since I started this blog, in an attempt to record what I thought might be my last year on the island, and even though for now, we are still here, I know the days are getting shorter and circumstances in their lives are changing...I know it will be necessary for them to move on soon and maybe me too, so I'll attempt to enjoy every moment here with them while I have it because once we move away from the island, life will become more chaotic in the "real world," and I may have no choice but to be further away from my babies for longer and longer periods of time, and I don't look forward to that at all. I know God knows what's best, and He'll work it all out for our good, but until then, I am still learning to be content in my present circumstances and find joy in all the little and big moments of life with and without my babies.
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