February 15-19, 2013 Plans and Prayers…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

     I have several favorite verses from the Bible, but I would have to say the verse that starts this blog entry has been a part of my life the longest, and it’s one of the few that I actually remember the book, chapter, and verse from the Bible every time, without having to Google the words in the verse to find where it’s located. This particular verse from the book of Jeremiah has been a comfort to me in uncertain circumstances more times than I can remember.  When I was a teenager, it helped me as I set off to college, not knowing quite yet what career path life was going to take me on. When I was struggling with my marriage and headed for what ultimately ended up in divorce, I leaned on the second part of the verse, that God still had a plan to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me hope and a future when my future seemed really bleak at the time. In the past, the verse has always served me, helped me, but now with 2 boys who are stuck in a situation created by their parents, a situation they never asked to be in nor want to have to be in, I am learning to apply this verse to them and would like to write out here the prayers on my heart for my sweet baby boys. “Dear Father-God, I know the plans you have for the precious children you have entrusted me with. I know that you have plans to prosper them and not harm them, plans to give them hope and a future.  So, as we all face various challenges with them as they age, new challenges as they hit a new stage in their lives, moving away from one or more parents, stepping into a new world, I pray this prayer over them. May they always know your love for them, may they remember Jeremiah 29:11 when life seems hopeless, when they are not sure what their future holds. May they feel your peace in the chaos of life, your mercy and grace when they make mistakes, your guidance when they don’t know where to go next, and your hand upon their lives and spirit within their souls no matter who or what tries to turn them away from you.  Speak your words into their minds to comfort them as you have so often with me over the years.  Keep them close to your heart as they are close to mine now.  Thank you for the blessing they have been to me and guide me in teaching them your ways and raising them up as you would have me to. Help me to let go when it’s time and hang on when the going gets rough, and most of all, guide me in loving them the way you do, unconditionally and without reservations and with forgiveness, grace, mercy, and immense understanding and patience every step of the way."  

February 8-14, 2013 Letting go…

“With God all things are possible.” Mark 10:27

     Maybe I sound like a broken record in this blog, but I guess I simply have to keep reminding myself of this one fact: with God, ALL things are possible.  There are many questions swirling about in my mind lately, so many that writing has not come easy to me.  I wanted to sit down and blog, but my mind was blank except for my questions.  What if? What happens when?  Will everything be okay? What will happen if things are not okay?  How will we work this out as a family?  How will I handle these future plans and changes in our life?  You see, I’m facing the challenge of letting go as one of my children may move back to the states with his dad this summer. He’s never lived in the states and is only eleven, so he really has no idea what it’s like to live there nor the challenges he will face with this transition to a brand new life. His father is recently divorced again and now a single dad with a full time job who has not lived in the states for over 16 years. AND his mom, step-dad, and little brother will remain living on an island 6,000 miles away from him indefinitely. So, what if he has trouble adjusting to his new life?  What happens when something goes wrong or he wants to come back to his island home? How will we work out time for him and his little brother to see each other? How will we work out visitation with the parent who is away from their child? How will I feel once my baby has left the only place he’s ever known as home, and I am still here?  I don’t have the answers to any of these questions right now. Many of them will have to be answered along the way and may take years to fully resolve, so what can I do but trust. Trust God. Trust that everything REALLY IS POSSIBLE with Him.  I have to lay it all down before him and LET IT GO.  “If you love somebody, set them free” as the Sting song says.  This goes for not only my son, letting him go because that is what he wants, and he needs to experience life for himself in order to understand it better and find his place of peace in the world, but it also goes for God. I love God, so I need to set Him free to do His work, which means not holding onto anything that He is asking me to let go of.  

February 5-7, 2013 My 38th Year Begins…

“But we all…beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

     As I start my 38^th year of life, this was a devotional verse for the day from one of my favorite devotional books, “Wisdom for the Way” by Charles R. Swindoll. This is what life is all about, being gradually transformed into a more Christlike image, a wiser being, a noble person of character.  I am so, so far from that goal, but I am thankful to still be walking that journey with God instead of without Him.  There are many things that could have pulled me away, turned my faith from my Maker, if I had allowed them. From the 2 divorces in my life, one of my parents when I was 12 years old and my own divorce during my 32^nd year of life to my challenging college years and my struggle to come to a place of perfect peace with my earthly father, I could have said, to be blunt, “screw it all.” What has God done for me but allowed me to suffer at the hands of my own parents and my ex-husband? But what would this accomplish, this blaming of others for my heartache, this putting myself above God and his wisdom? He allowed all of these things in my life to happen for a reason, and he certainly was not the author of these events. As humans, we are the authors of our own tragedies.  We have been given free will to make decisions for ourselves, wise or unwise.  What God does is makes those experiences work for us and for Him to transform us into His image as we progress through what is often a difficult life.  We all have our struggles, although I know mine could have been even worse, the bottom line is that we all feel what we are experiencing is more difficult than the next person.  That’s human nature, but what’s most important is our final perspective on it.  Will we take the tough times as learning experiences, even take it to the next step and find peace through it OR will we allow it to turn us away from God, to take away the only method of assisting us to get through it successfully and come out better on the other side. I choose God’s way.  I choose His love over anything the world has to offer. I choose to work on becoming wiser in Him, more loving towards others, laughing more and shedding less tears, and seeking peace over allowing bitterness and discontent to permeate my life.  On this first day of my 38^th year, I feel very, very blessed. Thank you to all of those in my life, those who were part of the good and bad experiences. You were all a piece of God’s plan for my life, and without you, I would not be able to become the person God intended for me to be.  Most of all, thank you God for being my Creator, Savior, Friend, and Guide in life. Thank you for teaching me how to find your peace in a chaotic world, how to keep going no matter what, and thank you for teaching me about faith.  Thank you for the start of another year with You and the family, friends, job, and home you have blessed me with.  I can do or be nothing without you. 

January 31-February 4, 2013 Wise Talk…

“My son, if your heart is wise, my own heart also will be glad and my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.” Proverbs 23:15-16

     It’s been several days since I blogged and a lot of the reason for that is because of the struggles we’ve been experiencing as a family the past week.  My 11 year old is going on 16, he thinks, and wise talk has definitely not been part of his kid to tween maturation.  Obviously, I don’t expect my tween child to be that wise yet, as I am not even very wise, and I’m about to turn 38, but I didn’t expect him to “think” he was so wise already.  I thought that would come a few years from now.  In all of the disrespectful and inconsiderate attitudes and rebellious behavior we are going through with him right now, it’s hard to not feel bad about what is seemingly constant nagging and disciplining of his behavior.  Reading this verse, though, reminded me of what it is all for. It’s so that we can help put him on the path to wisdom, to guide his steps, to parent him in such a way that he will know how and why he should take the high road or choice the nobler path when he has no one to tell him what he needs to do, when God is His only guide.  I hope and pray that he will defer to God’s ways as he matures because God is the best parent of all, but I know that I already worry about it a lot more than I should…who his friends are, what kind of influence they are on him, where their hearts are and where I hope his will be.  It’s not an easy world for a Christian to live in, heck, now a days, it’s not an easy world for a moral person with strong unbending values to live in, no matter whether they are a believer or not.  All I know is that I grew up wanting to please my parents, and I am sure my son wants to please us too, but more than that, I want him to grow up desiring to please God, to make His Father’s heart glad and His inmost being rejoice because His child is speaking and doing what is right.  Once again, I come back to leaning on God because all I can do is try my best in my meager human parenting skills and knowledge, and the rest is faith, putting my precious children in God’s hands, believing and knowing there’s no better place for them to be.