Today’s Verse:
I am called with a holy calling (2 Timothy 1:9 NKJV).
In Context:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but
of power, love, and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our
Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him.
With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the
Good News. For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not
because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning
of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 1:7-9)
I have to admit, in this day and age, I struggle to NOT be timid
about sharing my faith with others, which is the exact opposite of what this
verse advises me to do. If I am asked directly about it or I am speaking to
someone else who is very open about their own Christian faith, I have no
problem revealing my beliefs, but to speak up and tell others I work with, do
not know, or am mere acquaintances with about God, the sole intent being to
bring them to Christianity, well, this is the part of my Southern Baptist roots
that I have always been uncomfortable with. I grew up being taught that I was
to go out and disciple others and bring them to God, but I have simply rested
in the verses that allow me to draw others to God by example, not by sharing
the Good News directly. (i.e “In the
same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if
some refuse to obey the Good News, your
godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by
observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2) This verse speaks to
wives in particular, but there are other verses that reference a quiet and gentle
spirit and speak of the meek inheriting the earth, but just because those
verses are included in the Bible, this does not mean I should “forget” about
the many, many instructions of God’s Word to do all I can to bring others to
God.
I am better than I used to be. Age does that to you…the
shyness present as a child melts away, confidence takes its place, and
eventually you begin not to care so much about what others think as much as you
do about just being true to who you were made to be. That’s the part of our “coming of age”
stories where we finally accept ourselves, faults and all, and recognize that
the only way to find contentment in life is to use our natural born gifts and
do what we were called to do. The
concern for me is that I am not sure if I am doing all I was called to do
because I don’t know what that is yet. I
know writing about God on an “open to the public” blog and sharing it to
Facebook is a huge step in putting my faith out there in a way I wouldn’t have
been comfortable with a few years ago, but it’s still a very minimal risk,
considering the big picture. I think,
maybe, my timidity and fear in being more involved in ministering to others and
sharing my testimony is why I am not sure I have or am fulfilling my purpose
yet...because I do need to overcome those fears and timidity to move
forward. This is my last blog, for now,
based on a Bible verse, so I think it’s time I share a small bit of my
testimony, and maybe, just maybe, this will be a baby step toward drawing
closer to God’s purpose for me and discovering what it is that I am missing…
I grew up in the church, and when I was about 12, my VBS
(Vacation Bible School) teacher shared God’s plan of salvation with me. She
told me all about how Jesus had died on the cross for my sins, and I knew I
wanted to be saved. I had a feeling inside I had never felt before. It was
truly like I was being “drawn” to Him. I told my mom, we talked to the pastor,
I walked down the aisle during the alter call at the end of one of our Sunday
morning services, and shortly after, I was baptized in Willowbrook Baptist
Church’s baptismal pool in front of the entire congregation. Coming to God originally was the easy part
for me. I don’t have a miraculous saved
from addiction or death coming to Christ story because I was brought to God as
a child and in some ways, I believe that I still have a very childlike faith. I
am thankful that I came to God early and the Baptist church gave me a very
strong grounding in the Word of God. Bible drills, Sunday School, Church Camps,
and Youth Group all contributed to the building of my knowledge and faith, and
when tough times came, I knew God had a plan, always and without a doubt. This is not to say I didn’t falter (lots)
along the way, but I still believed, even when I was choosing to draw away from
God and sin instead of taking the path less traveled.
There is so much more to my story, bits of pieces of which I
have shared through this blog in the past, but the bottom line is that my faith
in God has only grown over the years as I was challenged first with my parent’s
divorce, through which God fully sheltered me.
Then, he waited patiently and protected me from what could have been
many other challenging situations as I rebelled against who knows what in my college
years. He drew me back to Him in a big way when I got married and moved halfway
across the world. At that time, I spent several years being mentored by a woman
friend sent to me by God. (I actually prayed for such a friend-this is one of
the most direct answers to prayer I have ever experienced.)During this
mentoring period, I not only grew tremendously in my faith and knowledge of God
and His Word, but I even ministered to others through training in Biblical
counseling and Christian Women’s groups-probably the time I most adhered to the
verses above, not being timid about sharing my faith. (Hmmmm, maybe it was peer
support that made the difference.) Finally, God once again sheltered me (and my
children) through a difficult divorce and the years of aftermath that
followed. In these years, God actually
taught me the most about letting go and finding contentment in whatever
circumstances come your way, and I am more at peace now in my present life
(even though it is far, far from perfect or ideal) than I have ever been. That’s
the short version of my testimony, but I have so, so many things to be thankful
for, like these last few years where He’s brought me to the love of my live and
to the beautiful Northwest where I could “begin again” in a sense and experience
life in a new way.
Bottom line for me and for you, a relationship with God is
very, very personal. I cannot convince
you to come to God by simply telling you how He has worked in my life. I cannot make you feel God’s presence like I
did when I was saved or when I cried out to Him in a time of great distress and
felt His arms wrap around me in warm, unconditional love. I cannot describe to
you with words how God speaks His guidance into my consciousness when I need it
the most. I cannot prove to you that He led one of my Bible study sessions by
providing me the words to speak when I was not prepared and asked for His help,
but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was God, not me, not a trick of my
imagination, but God. When God reveals
Himself to you, then you know what faith is, you know what it means to believe
without seeing, and there is no need for anyone to PROVE anything to you
again. The beauty of all of this is that
once you believe in things unseen, you can all of a sudden see all the miracles
happening around us each day, you can find beauty in the ashes and appreciate
life on this earth in a new way because you know who is in charge, and you are
not worried anymore about trying to control it or anyone else. But for the
grace of God, go I, and I can’t imagine where I would be today without God in
my life. I am blessed, and I do hope and
pray for all my friends, family, and loved ones to one day know the love of God
in the way I have, if they do not already.
