Saturday, June 25, 2016

June 25, 2016-RTM, Day 22

Today’s Verse:

I am called with a holy calling (2 Timothy 1:9 NKJV).

In Context:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 1:7-9)

I have to admit, in this day and age, I struggle to NOT be timid about sharing my faith with others, which is the exact opposite of what this verse advises me to do. If I am asked directly about it or I am speaking to someone else who is very open about their own Christian faith, I have no problem revealing my beliefs, but to speak up and tell others I work with, do not know, or am mere acquaintances with about God, the sole intent being to bring them to Christianity, well, this is the part of my Southern Baptist roots that I have always been uncomfortable with. I grew up being taught that I was to go out and disciple others and bring them to God, but I have simply rested in the verses that allow me to draw others to God by example, not by sharing the Good News directly.  (i.e “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2) This verse speaks to wives in particular, but there are other verses that reference a quiet and gentle spirit and speak of the meek inheriting the earth, but just because those verses are included in the Bible, this does not mean I should “forget” about the many, many instructions of God’s Word to do all I can to bring others to God. 

I am better than I used to be. Age does that to you…the shyness present as a child melts away, confidence takes its place, and eventually you begin not to care so much about what others think as much as you do about just being true to who you were made to be.  That’s the part of our “coming of age” stories where we finally accept ourselves, faults and all, and recognize that the only way to find contentment in life is to use our natural born gifts and do what we were called to do.  The concern for me is that I am not sure if I am doing all I was called to do because I don’t know what that is yet.  I know writing about God on an “open to the public” blog and sharing it to Facebook is a huge step in putting my faith out there in a way I wouldn’t have been comfortable with a few years ago, but it’s still a very minimal risk, considering the big picture.  I think, maybe, my timidity and fear in being more involved in ministering to others and sharing my testimony is why I am not sure I have or am fulfilling my purpose yet...because I do need to overcome those fears and timidity to move forward.  This is my last blog, for now, based on a Bible verse, so I think it’s time I share a small bit of my testimony, and maybe, just maybe, this will be a baby step toward drawing closer to God’s purpose for me and discovering what it is that I am missing…

I grew up in the church, and when I was about 12, my VBS (Vacation Bible School) teacher shared God’s plan of salvation with me. She told me all about how Jesus had died on the cross for my sins, and I knew I wanted to be saved. I had a feeling inside I had never felt before. It was truly like I was being “drawn” to Him. I told my mom, we talked to the pastor, I walked down the aisle during the alter call at the end of one of our Sunday morning services, and shortly after, I was baptized in Willowbrook Baptist Church’s baptismal pool in front of the entire congregation.  Coming to God originally was the easy part for me.  I don’t have a miraculous saved from addiction or death coming to Christ story because I was brought to God as a child and in some ways, I believe that I still have a very childlike faith. I am thankful that I came to God early and the Baptist church gave me a very strong grounding in the Word of God. Bible drills, Sunday School, Church Camps, and Youth Group all contributed to the building of my knowledge and faith, and when tough times came, I knew God had a plan, always and without a doubt.  This is not to say I didn’t falter (lots) along the way, but I still believed, even when I was choosing to draw away from God and sin instead of taking the path less traveled. 

There is so much more to my story, bits of pieces of which I have shared through this blog in the past, but the bottom line is that my faith in God has only grown over the years as I was challenged first with my parent’s divorce, through which God fully sheltered me.  Then, he waited patiently and protected me from what could have been many other challenging situations as I rebelled against who knows what in my college years. He drew me back to Him in a big way when I got married and moved halfway across the world. At that time, I spent several years being mentored by a woman friend sent to me by God. (I actually prayed for such a friend-this is one of the most direct answers to prayer I have ever experienced.)During this mentoring period, I not only grew tremendously in my faith and knowledge of God and His Word, but I even ministered to others through training in Biblical counseling and Christian Women’s groups-probably the time I most adhered to the verses above, not being timid about sharing my faith. (Hmmmm, maybe it was peer support that made the difference.) Finally, God once again sheltered me (and my children) through a difficult divorce and the years of aftermath that followed.  In these years, God actually taught me the most about letting go and finding contentment in whatever circumstances come your way, and I am more at peace now in my present life (even though it is far, far from perfect or ideal) than I have ever been. That’s the short version of my testimony, but I have so, so many things to be thankful for, like these last few years where He’s brought me to the love of my live and to the beautiful Northwest where I could “begin again” in a sense and experience life in a new way. 

Bottom line for me and for you, a relationship with God is very, very personal.  I cannot convince you to come to God by simply telling you how He has worked in my life.  I cannot make you feel God’s presence like I did when I was saved or when I cried out to Him in a time of great distress and felt His arms wrap around me in warm, unconditional love. I cannot describe to you with words how God speaks His guidance into my consciousness when I need it the most. I cannot prove to you that He led one of my Bible study sessions by providing me the words to speak when I was not prepared and asked for His help, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was God, not me, not a trick of my imagination, but God.  When God reveals Himself to you, then you know what faith is, you know what it means to believe without seeing, and there is no need for anyone to PROVE anything to you again.  The beauty of all of this is that once you believe in things unseen, you can all of a sudden see all the miracles happening around us each day, you can find beauty in the ashes and appreciate life on this earth in a new way because you know who is in charge, and you are not worried anymore about trying to control it or anyone else. But for the grace of God, go I, and I can’t imagine where I would be today without God in my life.  I am blessed, and I do hope and pray for all my friends, family, and loved ones to one day know the love of God in the way I have, if they do not already. 


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