May 10: Writing Prompt #130-Morphing

Language evolves. The meaning of a word can shift over time as we use it differently — think of “cool,” “heavy,” or even “literally.” Today, give a word an evolutionary push: give a common word a new meaning, explain it to us, and use it in the title of your post.

Okay, I’ve watched the cursor blink with white space all around it for long enough. I cannot come up with a word that I would like to give an evolutionary push to at this moment in time, but I would like to explore the title of this prompt and relate it to our very special day today, Mother’s Day!!

Our relationships with our mothers morph over time just like language.  First, they are only almost 100% that nurturing mother presence in our lives, changing our diapers, comforting us when we cry, feeding us each and every drop of milk and new food, and taking care of us when we are sick, then as we grow, so does our connection. It morphs into a rival, someone who struggles with letting us become independent as toddlers and preschoolers, then someone who is always “telling us what to do” in elementary school, and then someone who often keeps us from doing what we want to do as teenagers when we disobey and get grounded, etc…but as we continue to grow older, we realize this was all for our protection and out of our mother’s love for us. 

Finally, if we are lucky, we morph into the stage of our relationships with our mothers where we become friends.  I was lucky enough to have become friends with my mom a little earlier than most, and I cannot imagine how I would have survived my first 10+ years overseas without her friendship.  Mom to BFF….that’s what morphing means to me on this Mother’s Day 2015. 

Happy Day, MOM! So glad to be able to call you both mom and friend.  Love you!

May 9: Writing Prompt #129-Landscape

When you gaze out your window — real or figurative — do you see the forest first, or the trees?

Both real and figuratively, I tend to see the trees first.  My current backyard is full of them. In fact, we are backed by at least 200 feet of protected wetlands full of trees.  We chose this house partially because of that. We wanted a natural back yard and the privacy it provides.  Whenever I sit out on our back deck, I can hear the birds in the forest, and at night, frogs crock their raucous songs.  These are the small details I see and listen for. It’s not that I don’t “get” the big picture of the forest as a whole, but I prefer to focus on the details.

It’s like working with children. Of course, we all know the big picture in child care settings it to keep the children safe while their parents are at work (that’s the forest), but each child is so unique (the trees) that you cannot always keep them safe using the same methods with everyone.  And you have to get to know them individually to understand how to best nurture and help them acquire the emotional, social, and cognitive skills they will need to succeed in the world.  That’s the fun part. If we always just focus on the forest, we take a lot of the fun out of our lives.  The details (getting to know who and what is in the forest) attach us to it and give us the desire to want to take care of it with love and loyalty to the things that exist within the big picture. So, as important as it is to occasionally step back and see the forest as a whole, it doesn’t mean anything for the long-term existence of the forest if we never see the trees. 

May 8: Writing Prompt #128-Success

Tell us about a time where everything you’d hoped would happen actually did.

Honestly, I can’t think of a time where everything I’d hoped would happen actually did.  There have been times and events in my life that turned out really well, and that I was very pleased with, but nothing is ever just what I hoped. So, let me clarify that a bit….this is not because I am so picky or OCD that nothing could ever meet my high expectations. It’s just because I think life is unpredictable and spontaneous, and in fact, this is one of my favorite bits of it. 

Life is messy, gray, complicated, and usually very different than what you always thought it would be.  You may end up having everything you hoped for, but it came to you in a very round about way.  Maybe I’m taking this prompt WAY too literally, but most of my hopes and dreams were only accomplished after a few painful learning experiences.  They didn’t just fall into place exactly how I hoped they would, but I do believe they happened just as they were supposed to.  Success comes with wisdom and hard work, at least it does for me.  What about you?  Tell me about a time everything happened exactly as you hoped it would. 

May 7: Writing Prompt #127-Key Takeaway

Give your newer sisters and brothers-in-WordPress one piece of advice based on your experiences blogging. If you’re a new blogger, what’s one question you’d like to ask other bloggers?

I have been blogging fairly regularly (except for my year hiatus during our move in 2014) since 2010, and my one piece of advice is: “Be yourself.”  What I mean by that is don’t try to write fancy or be super descriptive or even hesitate to express what you are really thinking, just write.  Write as if it were your personal diary (as long as it’s appropriate for your audience, of course), and your writing will be highly relatable to others.  Your readers will feel your experiences with you and nod their heads at your strong opinions with which they agree.  They will understand you on a deeper level and connect with you because you were real with them and trusted them with your inmost thoughts. 

When I look back through the journals that were not too painful for me to keep, my most powerful writings were when I was completely raw.  I remember one where my writing was large and in print versus cursive, and you could literally FEEL my frustration and hurt in that moment of time.  I remember exactly where I was, in a bathroom in tears, writing my heart out after a difficult experience with my boyfriend at the time.  It’s probably the most real writing experience I’ve ever had.  I wrote until I couldn’t write anymore, until I had “worked” out my feelings, and that’s exactly what I mean when I tell you that writing is cathartic and therapeutic for me as it could be for you too. 

Whether you choose to go the public blog route or not, I highly recommend writing for yourself as a personal venture first.  Not all of us like to talk a lot (although I can do that too), and many of us are better able to process and sort out our feelings more effectively when we can visualize them in words, like me.  So, give it a go, use a writing prompt if you want or just write what’s on your mind until it is empty of thought. You’ll be amazed at how much peace it can bring you to put it on paper OR a computer screen. Good Luck and Happy Journaling!!

May 6: Writing Prompt #126-Evasive Action

What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?

I’m not much for secrets. In fact, when friends or co-workers say, “you promise you won’t tell anyone,” I usually end up saying. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” That’s not because I can’t keep a secret; it’s just that I don’t ever want anyone to feel they have to share something with me that they are not entirely comfortable sharing.  Also, I’m really not good at lying or covering things up, at least when it comes to my own secrets. It shows on my face and in my tone or lack of speech when being questioned about something I’d rather not share. This has been purely in regard to my own secrets or areas of my life I’d rather not put out there for just anyone to see.  Even when it’s my own good secret that I’m excited about, I’m bad at keeping it to myself (i.e. I want to tell my son if my husband and I have planned a fun, surprise trip for him or gotten him a new video game he’s really been wanting).  I like to share those sorts of things because I can’t wait to see my child’s excitement!

That said, or maybe because of it, I can’t honestly think of any significant secret I’ve ever kept for anyone else, and even if I did have one, I’m not going to tell you. J  I will say that I consider myself a very loyal friend, even a very loyal former friend. I am not into revenge or trying to get back at someone by telling what they may have shared with me in confidence to others after a friendship has ended or changed.  The worse thing I’ve probably ever done, related to this subject, was be honest about my anger and bitterness after both my parent’s divorce and my own divorce. I was very open with my friends and family about how I felt during this difficult time for me. Partially, it was how I processed it all, but I hurt and alienated people from me (some that I have never regained friendship with) because I really didn’t consider carefully each person I was speaking with before I did it.

Sometimes, friends and family get caught in the middle of these situations, and it’s not fair to dump it all on them and make them feel they have to choose sides or take on your burden, and of course, I realize that now, but I was too in the moment at the time to do so. I did not handle that as well as I could have, but I did not speak that way out of revenge, only my own hurt feelings that I was working to overcome.  I was still naïve about friendship and family relationships at that time, but those experiences taught me volumes, and I don’t regret that part. I only regret that I may have put others in an uncomfortable situation without meaning too. For that, friends and family who may have felt that one with me at one time or another, I am truly sorry.  I should have been more considerate of you. 

As far as the truth coming out, my experience is this: the truth always comes out, in one way or another, whether it emerges under the best circumstances or the worst, the truth is told.  It has a way of seeking out those who need to hear it, and I believe it really does set you free.  Secrets weight us down, emotionally and mentally, and I believe they can make us physically sick too. I think that’s why I have never been a fan of keeping them.  All they do is cause hurt, confusion, and mistrust.  If you feel the need to keep a lot of secrets (and some may call it being private), something isn’t right.  If you are living a good, clean life and taking care of yourself and others with love and kindness, there’s no need for secrets.  Honesty is the best policy. 

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’? Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’ ” John 8: 31-36