Wednesday, May 6, 2015

May 6: Writing Prompt #126-Evasive Action

What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?
I’m not much for secrets. In fact, when friends or co-workers say, “you promise you won’t tell anyone,” I usually end up saying. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” That’s not because I can’t keep a secret; it’s just that I don’t ever want anyone to feel they have to share something with me that they are not entirely comfortable sharing.  Also, I’m really not good at lying or covering things up, at least when it comes to my own secrets. It shows on my face and in my tone or lack of speech when being questioned about something I’d rather not share. This has been purely in regard to my own secrets or areas of my life I’d rather not put out there for just anyone to see.  Even when it’s my own good secret that I’m excited about, I’m bad at keeping it to myself (i.e. I want to tell my son if my husband and I have planned a fun, surprise trip for him or gotten him a new video game he’s really been wanting).  I like to share those sorts of things because I can’t wait to see my child’s excitement!
That said, or maybe because of it, I can’t honestly think of any significant secret I’ve ever kept for anyone else, and even if I did have one, I’m not going to tell you. J  I will say that I consider myself a very loyal friend, even a very loyal former friend. I am not into revenge or trying to get back at someone by telling what they may have shared with me in confidence to others after a friendship has ended or changed.  The worse thing I’ve probably ever done, related to this subject, was be honest about my anger and bitterness after both my parent’s divorce and my own divorce. I was very open with my friends and family about how I felt during this difficult time for me. Partially, it was how I processed it all, but I hurt and alienated people from me (some that I have never regained friendship with) because I really didn’t consider carefully each person I was speaking with before I did it.
Sometimes, friends and family get caught in the middle of these situations, and it’s not fair to dump it all on them and make them feel they have to choose sides or take on your burden, and of course, I realize that now, but I was too in the moment at the time to do so. I did not handle that as well as I could have, but I did not speak that way out of revenge, only my own hurt feelings that I was working to overcome.  I was still naïve about friendship and family relationships at that time, but those experiences taught me volumes, and I don’t regret that part. I only regret that I may have put others in an uncomfortable situation without meaning too. For that, friends and family who may have felt that one with me at one time or another, I am truly sorry.  I should have been more considerate of you. 
As far as the truth coming out, my experience is this: the truth always comes out, in one way or another, whether it emerges under the best circumstances or the worst, the truth is told.  It has a way of seeking out those who need to hear it, and I believe it really does set you free.  Secrets weight us down, emotionally and mentally, and I believe they can make us physically sick too. I think that’s why I have never been a fan of keeping them.  All they do is cause hurt, confusion, and mistrust.  If you feel the need to keep a lot of secrets (and some may call it being private), something isn’t right.  If you are living a good, clean life and taking care of yourself and others with love and kindness, there’s no need for secrets.  Honesty is the best policy. 

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’? Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’ ” John 8: 31-36

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