What’s the most significant secret you’ve
ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?
I’m not much
for secrets. In fact, when friends or co-workers say, “you promise you won’t
tell anyone,” I usually end up saying. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if
you don’t want to.” That’s not because I can’t keep a secret; it’s just that I
don’t ever want anyone to feel they have to share something with me that they
are not entirely comfortable sharing.
Also, I’m really not good at lying or covering things up, at least when
it comes to my own secrets. It shows on my face and in my tone or lack of
speech when being questioned about something I’d rather not share. This has
been purely in regard to my own secrets or areas of my life I’d rather not put
out there for just anyone to see. Even
when it’s my own good secret that I’m excited about, I’m bad at keeping it to
myself (i.e. I want to tell my son if my husband and I have planned a fun,
surprise trip for him or gotten him a new video game he’s really been wanting). I like to share those sorts of things because
I can’t wait to see my child’s excitement!
That said,
or maybe because of it, I can’t honestly think of any significant secret I’ve
ever kept for anyone else, and even if I did have one, I’m not going to tell
you. J I
will say that I consider myself a very loyal friend, even a very loyal former
friend. I am not into revenge or trying to get back at someone by telling what
they may have shared with me in confidence to others after a friendship has
ended or changed. The worse thing I’ve probably
ever done, related to this subject, was be honest about my anger and bitterness
after both my parent’s divorce and my own divorce. I was very open with my
friends and family about how I felt during this difficult time for me.
Partially, it was how I processed it all, but I hurt and alienated people from
me (some that I have never regained friendship with) because I really didn’t
consider carefully each person I was speaking with before I did it.
Sometimes,
friends and family get caught in the middle of these situations, and it’s not
fair to dump it all on them and make them feel they have to choose sides or
take on your burden, and of course, I realize that now, but I was too in the
moment at the time to do so. I did not handle that as well as I could have, but
I did not speak that way out of revenge, only my own hurt feelings that I was
working to overcome. I was still naïve
about friendship and family relationships at that time, but those experiences
taught me volumes, and I don’t regret that part. I only regret that I may have
put others in an uncomfortable situation without meaning too. For that, friends
and family who may have felt that one with me at one time or another, I am
truly sorry. I should have been more considerate
of you.
As far as
the truth coming out, my experience is this: the truth always comes out, in one
way or another, whether it emerges under the best circumstances or the worst,
the truth is told. It has a way of
seeking out those who need to hear it, and I believe it really does set you
free. Secrets weight us down,
emotionally and mentally, and I believe they can make us physically sick too. I
think that’s why I have never been a fan of keeping them. All they do is cause hurt, confusion, and
mistrust. If you feel the need to keep a
lot of secrets (and some may call it being private), something isn’t
right. If you are living a good, clean
life and taking care of yourself and others with love and kindness, there’s no
need for secrets. Honesty is the best
policy.
“So Jesus
said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly
my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’
They answered him, ‘We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to
anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’? Jesus answered them,
‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The
slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the
Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’ ” John 8: 31-36
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