You receive a gift that is bittersweet and
makes you nostalgic. What is it?
It’s a collection
of photos gathered by a group of my Kwajalein friends, past and present
covering all 17 years of my time there.
These photos are bittersweet because the majority of my happiest
memories are pictured there, but they are wrapped around some of the most
difficult days of my life thus far.
Included within the collection are pictures with friends, some of whom
will always be with me, and I am still in touch with today, and then there are
those friends whom I loved and lost due to death, distance, and/or divorce. I
miss them…and I am particularly sad for the loss of friends through my divorce.
I am not entirely sure why some decided to stay away permanently, but I hope
they know if I did anything to cause it, I did not mean to…I was in a lot of
pain during those days and did not always have all my best senses about
me.
The photos
also make me nostalgic because there are so many wonderful events that occurred
in the photos, so many beautiful, favorite spots on the atoll, so much life
lived….the relaxing, tropical lifestyle is hard to choose to leave, especially
after so long, but the bittersweet part still overwhelms the nostalgic parts
for me. I think about going back and
living there again, and at first, the nostalgic memories pull me in, and I say,
“What was I thinking…leaving that easy life of an island girl?!?” Then, the
bittersweet memories kick in, and I say, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
Sometimes,
we need to make new memories in a new place separate from all we knew
previously. We need to start fresh in order to put everything back in
perspective and move forward with our lives. That is what we needed when we
left, and I’m not one to say, “Never.” I don’t know if we’ll ever make it back to
the islands or not, but someday those bittersweet memories will taste less sour
in my mouth, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll be catching some rays on Emon Beach
again. I would love it, but I’ll be okay either way. I was so very blessed and
lucky to have 17 years there, and so many, many unforgettable memories, friends,
and family to show for it.
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