June 25, 2016-RTM, Day 22

Today’s Verse:

I am called with a holy calling (2 Timothy 1:9 NKJV).

In Context:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 1:7-9)

I have to admit, in this day and age, I struggle to NOT be timid about sharing my faith with others, which is the exact opposite of what this verse advises me to do. If I am asked directly about it or I am speaking to someone else who is very open about their own Christian faith, I have no problem revealing my beliefs, but to speak up and tell others I work with, do not know, or am mere acquaintances with about God, the sole intent being to bring them to Christianity, well, this is the part of my Southern Baptist roots that I have always been uncomfortable with. I grew up being taught that I was to go out and disciple others and bring them to God, but I have simply rested in the verses that allow me to draw others to God by example, not by sharing the Good News directly.  (i.e “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2) This verse speaks to wives in particular, but there are other verses that reference a quiet and gentle spirit and speak of the meek inheriting the earth, but just because those verses are included in the Bible, this does not mean I should “forget” about the many, many instructions of God’s Word to do all I can to bring others to God. 

I am better than I used to be. Age does that to you…the shyness present as a child melts away, confidence takes its place, and eventually you begin not to care so much about what others think as much as you do about just being true to who you were made to be.  That’s the part of our “coming of age” stories where we finally accept ourselves, faults and all, and recognize that the only way to find contentment in life is to use our natural born gifts and do what we were called to do.  The concern for me is that I am not sure if I am doing all I was called to do because I don’t know what that is yet.  I know writing about God on an “open to the public” blog and sharing it to Facebook is a huge step in putting my faith out there in a way I wouldn’t have been comfortable with a few years ago, but it’s still a very minimal risk, considering the big picture.  I think, maybe, my timidity and fear in being more involved in ministering to others and sharing my testimony is why I am not sure I have or am fulfilling my purpose yet...because I do need to overcome those fears and timidity to move forward.  This is my last blog, for now, based on a Bible verse, so I think it’s time I share a small bit of my testimony, and maybe, just maybe, this will be a baby step toward drawing closer to God’s purpose for me and discovering what it is that I am missing…

I grew up in the church, and when I was about 12, my VBS (Vacation Bible School) teacher shared God’s plan of salvation with me. She told me all about how Jesus had died on the cross for my sins, and I knew I wanted to be saved. I had a feeling inside I had never felt before. It was truly like I was being “drawn” to Him. I told my mom, we talked to the pastor, I walked down the aisle during the alter call at the end of one of our Sunday morning services, and shortly after, I was baptized in Willowbrook Baptist Church’s baptismal pool in front of the entire congregation.  Coming to God originally was the easy part for me.  I don’t have a miraculous saved from addiction or death coming to Christ story because I was brought to God as a child and in some ways, I believe that I still have a very childlike faith. I am thankful that I came to God early and the Baptist church gave me a very strong grounding in the Word of God. Bible drills, Sunday School, Church Camps, and Youth Group all contributed to the building of my knowledge and faith, and when tough times came, I knew God had a plan, always and without a doubt.  This is not to say I didn’t falter (lots) along the way, but I still believed, even when I was choosing to draw away from God and sin instead of taking the path less traveled. 

There is so much more to my story, bits of pieces of which I have shared through this blog in the past, but the bottom line is that my faith in God has only grown over the years as I was challenged first with my parent’s divorce, through which God fully sheltered me.  Then, he waited patiently and protected me from what could have been many other challenging situations as I rebelled against who knows what in my college years. He drew me back to Him in a big way when I got married and moved halfway across the world. At that time, I spent several years being mentored by a woman friend sent to me by God. (I actually prayed for such a friend-this is one of the most direct answers to prayer I have ever experienced.)During this mentoring period, I not only grew tremendously in my faith and knowledge of God and His Word, but I even ministered to others through training in Biblical counseling and Christian Women’s groups-probably the time I most adhered to the verses above, not being timid about sharing my faith. (Hmmmm, maybe it was peer support that made the difference.) Finally, God once again sheltered me (and my children) through a difficult divorce and the years of aftermath that followed.  In these years, God actually taught me the most about letting go and finding contentment in whatever circumstances come your way, and I am more at peace now in my present life (even though it is far, far from perfect or ideal) than I have ever been. That’s the short version of my testimony, but I have so, so many things to be thankful for, like these last few years where He’s brought me to the love of my live and to the beautiful Northwest where I could “begin again” in a sense and experience life in a new way. 

Bottom line for me and for you, a relationship with God is very, very personal.  I cannot convince you to come to God by simply telling you how He has worked in my life.  I cannot make you feel God’s presence like I did when I was saved or when I cried out to Him in a time of great distress and felt His arms wrap around me in warm, unconditional love. I cannot describe to you with words how God speaks His guidance into my consciousness when I need it the most. I cannot prove to you that He led one of my Bible study sessions by providing me the words to speak when I was not prepared and asked for His help, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was God, not me, not a trick of my imagination, but God.  When God reveals Himself to you, then you know what faith is, you know what it means to believe without seeing, and there is no need for anyone to PROVE anything to you again.  The beauty of all of this is that once you believe in things unseen, you can all of a sudden see all the miracles happening around us each day, you can find beauty in the ashes and appreciate life on this earth in a new way because you know who is in charge, and you are not worried anymore about trying to control it or anyone else. But for the grace of God, go I, and I can’t imagine where I would be today without God in my life.  I am blessed, and I do hope and pray for all my friends, family, and loved ones to one day know the love of God in the way I have, if they do not already. 

June 13, 2016-RTM, Day 21

Today’s Verse:

I am not allowing corrupt talk to come from my mouth (Ephesians 4:29 ESV).

In Context:

So, stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them (Ephesians 4:25-29).

This is the next to the last verse from the More than a Bucket List book intended to inspire readers to study the words and renew their minds.  I have enjoyed reflecting upon each and every verse, particularly in their Biblical context. I am not sure what I will blog about after these last two RTM posts, although writing, for me, whether or not a verse is the inspiration, has always served as a means to calm my racing thoughts and bring a more peaceful perspective to whatever situation I am dealing with at the moment.  Ephesians 4 has much good advice, and the resounding theme of this section is summed up is verse 31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29 by itself is just the starting point for renewing the mind. The rest of the directions are given after this verse…let everything you say be helpful, let your words be an encouragement to others, get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger. Some of us get rid of these things by “venting” to others; I guess I tend to get rid of them by “writing it out” of my system and letting God teach me how to let go through “trial by fire” experiences and specially placed people in my life.  It can be very challenging to ensure our speech is always helpful and good, particularly when we are tired, not feeling well, or unhappy with something in our life at the moment, but I believe it is a very worthy goal to work toward and one that in and of itself uplifts us as we uplift others.  Serving and encouraging others is some of the best medicine I have ever found for curing a downcast mind and a restless heart looking for purpose.

May 28, 2016-RTM, Day 20

Today’s Verse:

I am an overcomer by His blood and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

In Context:

Then there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon and his angels. And the dragon lost the battle, and he and his angels were forced out of heaven. This great dragon-the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world-was thrown down to the earth with all his angels. Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, “It has come at last-salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth-the one who accuses them before our God day and night. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens! And you who live in the heavens, rejoice! But terror will come on the earth and the sea, for the devil has come down to you in great anger, knowing that he has little time.” (Revelation 12:7-12)

The book of Revelations has always been a bit of an enigma to me. When I was a young girl, the study of it frightened me because it is, in part, about the end days, and the idea of all the chaos and terrible things predicted that will happen in this future time for the world was too much for me. Even the idea of my own death scared me more when I was a teenager than it does now. Most likely because I am closer to it now, and even though I know I should look forward to the afterlife, I am still busy enjoying the time and place I’m in now.  The world is far from perfect. It is, in my opinion, getting farther and farther away from the world I knew, loved, and thought I understood as a child, but it’s never been perfect or ideal, all good or all bad.  It just is what it is, full of fallible human beings and incredible miracles, all at the same time.  Even in the midst of evil and many, many things, ideas, and people I do not understand, I still hold love for this unique world created for you and for me, and I still believe that love is the answer to all its troubles. Love, not judgment (as it’s not my place to judge, especially with the large log stuck in my own eye) and love, not anger or bitterness or fire and brimstone, but the practice of love is the only way in this new and sometimes confusing world we live in to make peace with it all, to find contentment, to let go of what we cannot control and bring the message of something higher and greater than all of us to the earth.  This world has become so arrogant, independent, and unafraid to say or do whatever we want that threats, judgment, and fear can no longer bring about change, so what’s left…love. 

Even in heaven, in the passage above, how did they defeat the great dragon and his angels? They defeated him by the blood of the lamb (the death of God’s son for the sin of everyone in the world-the most selfless and loving act any of us could give, our lives for the forgiveness of other people’s bad and selfish choices in life) and the word of our testimony…the sharing of how that kind of love has changed our lives.   In the verses above, they defeated Satan, the great deceiver of the entire world, with love.  So, how is my mind renewed today, by recognizing that love is the most effective weapon to fight the most trying situations or people in this world. Love overcomes all.  Fight your problems, your worries, your fears today with love.  Give love, even when everyone else is fighting you and trying to push your buttons, show them love and be a part of the incredible miracles living in this day and age still has to offer.   

May 19, 2016-RTM, Day 19

Today’s Verse:

I am rejoicing always and praying without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 NKJV).

In Context:

Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:14-18, NLT)

Gosh, Paul sure is good at summing up all the best advice in a few short, effective sentences.  This is the perfect verse to write upon your heart, memorize in your mind, and post close to your eyes, so that you can renew your mind with it when you are frustrated with a co-worker, challenged by a passive-aggressive friend, or simply in a hurry and impatient waiting in a line or trying to get something done in a timely manner.  Encourage the timid, take care of the weak, be patient with EVERYONE, try to do good to each other and all people.  What better advice could any of us give to one another in times of trial or even every day life. The hardest one for most people is probably always be joyful. We are so ruled by our moods at times, allowing them to affect not only how we feel that day (sad, angry, or simply melancholy), but also how we treat others, which in turn, affects their day and mood. So, how do we go about being joyful all the time?

Never stop praying…this is one of the ways we change that negative mood. Pray about it, encourage someone else, take care of a friend or family member who needs it more than you at the moment and watch your mood turn around, watch that joy take over.  Finally, be thankful in all circumstances. It’s been maybe over emphasized in the media, books, etc…the last few years, but there is something to be said for a “gratitude journal.” When all seems bleak and too much for us, write down what you DO have to be thankful for, and you will quickly realize that things could be much worse, and there really is a silver lining. 

How can we renew the mind today? Remind yourself of those things you have to rejoice over and pray without stopping in order to maintain that glass half full mindset. 

May 7, 2016-RTM, Day 18

Today’s Verse:

I am shedding the old me and putting on the new me (Ephesians 4:22-24).

In Context:

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:22-27)

This shedding of the old and putting on of the new takes time, I think. As the snake and moose naturally shed their old skin and the velvet on their antlers, respectively, we too shed the old and put on the new naturally as we grow into wiser, more experienced spiritual beings. Of course, not all of us do. Some of us allow the more bitter, angry, and resentful side of our nature to take over, and we never really grow or change, becoming crabby, lonely, old men and women.  But, hopefully, for the rest of us, we continue to learn from our mistakes, experiences, and relationships with others, and we become like new, even though our bodies start to look old. 

For me, I have become new in many ways over the years, but most recently, I have thrown off (or started to) my old nature of arguing every point automatically without really thinking about what or why I am arguing or more importantly how it affects and makes others feel. I mostly put on this argumentative nature with those I am closest too, and it has been a habit since I was very young.  Unfortunately, I have passed a bit of it onto my youngest son, so hopefully because I recognize it, and I am now attempting to put it off, my son will follow suit and change that part of his nature sooner rather than later, saving himself some growing pains along the way.

In the early years after my divorce, God helped me put away the old nature of anxiety associated with maintaining control over raising my sons the way I expected them to be raised.  This “letting go of control” was huge for me and for my boys, providing them with a much more stable and happy daily living situation, even in the midst of going back and forth between two different homes and two different lifestyles.  It’s also the only way I was able to accept with grace and love my older son’s choice to move and live with his dad later on.  Bottom line, I don’t ever want either of them to feel they mean any less to me or that my love is conditional on them making choices based on my happiness alone. I love my children no matter what, and I believe wholeheartedly they know that because God enabled me to put off my old, human nature of control for what was in the best interest of my children and me and trust Him to provide the best situation and life experiences for their growth. 

In small ways, I am also shedding my old self and my perceptions that I could never do certain things, such as run a ½ marathon or be a manager of people in the workplace.  Those things that I said, “I could never do that or I’m not cut out for that” I’m slowly rubbing away (like the moose and his velvet) to reveal a stronger, more motivated 41 year old woman than the young lady who started running short distances in track when she was 14 years old and said even though she was majoring in English in college, she would never want to or be able to be a teacher. 

I am very different today than the shy girl who never even felt comfortable enough around children to become a babysitter herself. (I only tagged along with my best friend on her babysitting job to be with her.)  I now work with children and their caregivers for a living and teach adults in my field. I even volunteer to read to children in low-income preschool programs simply because I miss actually being in the classroom on a daily basis, and I love story time with little ones! I also serve in a managerial role now, something else I never thought I’d be able to do, and today I completed my first ½ marathon, not as fast as I’d like to, but the fact that I could push my body to do that, run farther than I ever have in my life, proves my point. 

Renewing the mind today means believing that you can continue to grow, change, and become new, no matter who you were in the past.  It means believing that you can put off the old and become new. It may not happen as quickly as you would like, but as my ½ marathon training plan revealed, it’s adding just those few extra steps each day and each week that make all the difference!