January 26: Writing Prompt #26-Musical

What role does music play in your life?

My first memories of music begin with Sesame Street, Disney, and Annie LP Records I still own and that I re-discovered during my recent visit to my parent’s home in AL.  I told them they could sell most of them; however, I did ask to keep the Annie record. Both my children wanted to see the new Annie movie that was out over the holiday break mostly because they’ve heard me sing Annie soundtrack songs to them since they were little. (Whenever there’s complaining going on around the house, I break into, “It’s a Hard Knock Life for YOU! It’s a Hard Knock Life for ________-insert child’s name here.) 

In the house I grew up in until I was 12, we had a playroom upstairs with a line strung across the back dormer window area where we could hang a sheet for putting on plays and such. I would spend weekends setting up a “tent” in this room to sleep in. I always made sure I had my small “boom box” tape player with me, and I would spend hours in there listening to my favorite 80’s artists (Madonna and Michael Jackson in particular).  I took my style from Madonna in elementary school, wearing numerous jelly bracelets up my arm. I even choreographed and performed a dance for the school talent show to “Like a Virgin.” I won’t go into how I feel about that now. J I obviously didn’t truly understand what that song was about then, and as a parent now, I understand why my mom didn’t make a big deal out of me choosing that song either because I’ve been through similar situations with my own boys.  Let children be children as long as long as they can…Innocence is fleeting, unfortunately.

As I grew older, music became more a public pursuit for me with singing for the church choir, singing solos for special music at church, and participating in church musicals.  I took voice lessons briefly and piano for 7 years. My claim to fame with piano was receiving an honorable mention at a competition in Tuscaloosa. Doesn’t sound like much, but it was pretty special because I barely remember playing. My dad drove me down (from our home town-about a 3 hour drive), and I started getting sick (a stomach bug), so I had my dad pull over several times, so I could throw up. He kept asking me if I wanted to go back home, and I told him no. I was going to go to the competition.  I made it through, not expecting anything but to say I played, so the honorable mention was icing on the cake.   

Once I got to college and beyond, music became therapy.  Now, when I hear songs from that time period, I feel the pain, joy, depression, or energy I had at the time the music was popular.  Music was one of the things that helped me process life, just like writing.  It’s cathartic.  I can’t imagine my life without it. 

Over the last year, I have enjoyed driving again (after not really driving for 17 years while on the island) because my car is filled with music every morning and afternoon for the 30 minute drive to and from work. I can sit in my bubble and sing to my heart’s content, feeling joy, love, sadness at times, and hope. Music touches our souls, speaks to our hearts and educates our minds in a way that everyone can relate to. We may be attracted to different types of music (country, rock, blue grass, alternative, R & B, classical, jazz, or multiple kinds), but it speaks to us and teaches us just the same. 

What role does music play in my life? It is a part of me. If I were to make you a “mixed tape” like my friends and I did for each other in high school, that tape would tell you as much about me as multiple, multiple blog posts might describe to you because it would express my deepest emotions, my greatest joys, and my biggest regrets and be able to represent my past and my present all in a couple of hours worth of powerful words and beautiful melodies.

What does music mean to you?

“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:19-20

“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.” Psalm 40:3

January 25: Writing Prompt #25-Dearly departed

Write your own eulogy.

Hmmmm….write my own eulogy. I do not feel equipped to do this. I did think about it and try to write it out in my head on the long drive back from Oregon today, but I could never get past the first line. I think eulogies are for others to write about us.  I am really not sure what would be said about me upon death. Like everyone, we’d like to think it would be good, that we would be missed, that we had an impact on the world in a positive, uplifting way (like George in “It’s a Wonderful Life”), but most of us will never get the chance to know exactly how we affected others and what the world would have been like without us in it. 

What I do know about my death is that I want to be cremated. I want my ashes spread over an ocean or the mountains or some other such breath-taking natural wonder.  I want to leave on my own terms, if possible, and I want to leave this world knowing I have accomplished what God put me here to accomplish, to have fulfilled my purpose, however small or insignificant that purpose may have been. 

When I was working at a retail store at the mall as a college student, I left the store one day to go on my dinner break, and this man who had been in the store earlier that day stopped to talk to me.  He gave me a card he had bought for me and told me how much my smile had meant to him.  Whatever was going on in his life, the mere act of a warm greeting and smile as he came into the store was enough to bring some hope and life back into him.  I was so shocked by that. I barely remembered my brief interaction with him in the store, but he couldn’t forget it.  It’s that kind of small thing that makes all the difference. It’s so important to remember that each thing we say or do can have such a positive or negative impact on others.  I want to have a positive, uplifting impact and die knowing I did all I could to show kindness, love, and joy to others daily, even when I was not feeling it myself. 

“Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:5-6

January 24: 4 Tips for Raising Kids-For What It’s Worth…

*The writing prompt for today was to freewrite for 10 minutes. This is a basic journaling exercise I’ve done many, many times, so instead of that I began this morning thinking about a topic to write about and getting my 4 points together in my head, so I am not exactly free writing for 10 minutes, but instead I’m completing a FOCUSED free write on the topic of raising kids.  Hope you enjoy!

I have two kids, both boys, 13 and 11 years old. I have also worked daily for the last 8 years with children from toddler to 18 years old, and this is my 2 cents on raising kids:

1. Pick your Battles: Yes, it’s cliché, you’ve heard it a million times already, but there’s a reason for that…because it’s true.  It’s so important to know ahead of time whether or not what you are fighting for it is worth the battle.  How much do you really want to be in control of what your child is wearing or eating?  Is it life or death for them?   Is it detrimental to their healthy development?  These are the questions to ask.  If my son needs more time than other kids to get ready for school in the morning in order to make it a peaceful transition from bed to bus, then I’m going to wake him up earlier and give him that extra time instead of rushing and fighting with him over it later.  If I can compromise with having him wear at least one piece of warm clothing to school in the winter (either a sweatshirt or a pair of pants), then I’m good with that.  Why cause more stress in our lives simply because we feel the need to be in control, make sure they know who’s boss, or we just want them to do things the way we do them.  It’s exhausting, so I pick what battles I really need to fight before they even come up, if possible.  Think like a grandparent on this one, instead of like a parent. J 

2. Love them unconditionally: They are going to grow up to be very different individuals than you, and that’s okay. Love all their quirks and embrace them even when they make mistakes.  They will be more open and honest with you if they know you love them no matter what.  Judging them is not your job…guiding them in how to make good choices and how to be independent and take care of themselves is your job.  Focus on that instead of making sure they know what you don’t agree with about their behavior and giving them “that look” of disappointment when they don’t act the way you want them to. We all really take that to heart!

3. Get to know them as individuals: For those of you with more than one child, you already know how different they all turn out.  That means you can’t use the same discipline, the same rewards, the same anything treatment with them. You have to take the time to get to know them as individuals and figure out the ways to best talk and relate to them as they grow, even the best ways to discipline them and help them learn.  Taking that time will make all the difference in your child’s success in school and in life. 

4. Really take the time to LISTEN to them.  We all get in the habit of saying “uh-huh,” and “that’s great,” and “cool,” to our children when they are telling us stories about their day or the latest, greatest video game level they recently made it to, etc….but it’s important for all of us to take the time to really listen to what they are saying. I have found this especially important with the children I work with every day…just taking a few extra minutes to really listen to what they need to say (whether it’s tattling on another child or a story about what they did over the weekend with their family) because sometimes they just want to be heard. It’s not that they need anything from you or that there’s a problem to solve, it’s just that they need to know you care about what’s important to them. 

There’s so many more tidbits about bringing up children that I could discuss, but this is the crux of the matter in my mind. Kids are going to grow up to be whoever they want to be in the end, doesn’t matter what we do, really, as long as we are trying our best to be good parents. Making sure they know we love them and are there for them no matter what teaches them more than any piece of unsolicited advice or battle over our little pet peeves ever could. 

Shipwrecked: Writing Prompt #23-Read the story of Richard Parker and Tom Dudley. Is what Dudley did defensible? What would you have done?

What would I do if shipwrecked on a lifeboat with no food and water for many, many days? I would like to think that I would be strong and admirable like Louis Zamperini, but I can’t really say for sure what I would do or how I would react in that extremely stressful situation.  I do know that I can’t imagine doing what Dudley did, and I don’t believe I could eat another person at all, even if they had died of natural causes, but I have also NEVER gone hungry nor do I know what straving to death would do to my mental state. 

What do I know? I know that I am capable of making mistakes and doing things I say I’d never do.  I’ve compromised my own values and rules more than I care to admit in my short 39 years in this life. I am FAR from perfect, but I think that’s what makes me most human. Because I’ve made mistakes and compromised myself at times, I can relate to more people in this world.  I can relate to Peter and David in the Bible, who were both men God held close to his heart.  If God can love these men, men who denied His son, men who murdered and cheated and made terrible choices, but had good intentions and whose hearts were in the right place, He can love me too, despite all my human inadequacies. 

Psalm 51: A Prayer of Repentance

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

Have mercy upon me, O God,

According to Your lovingkindness;

According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,

Blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

And cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions,

And my sin is always before me.

Against You, You only, have I sinned,

And done this evil in Your sight—

That You may be found just when You speak,

And blameless when You judge.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,

And in sin my mother conceived me.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,

And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me hear joy and gladness,

That the bones You have broken may rejoice.

Hide Your face from my sins,

And blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence,

And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,

And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,

And sinners shall be converted to You.

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,

The God of my salvation,

And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,

And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;

You do not delight in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and a contrite heart—

These, O God, You will not despise.

Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;

Build the walls of Jerusalem.

Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,

With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;

Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.