Now that I’ve spent one whole weekend washing dishes, taking care of laundry, “spring cleaning” old baskets, file folders, and bins of stuff on my list to sort through, and finally decorating for the holidays and making Gingerbread cookies in my very own kitchen, I think I can finally call this place my “home sweet home,” at least for a little while. This is the first weekend, I have not had to move a thing or unpack any boxes, and that is heavenly. It was fun to get the Christmas decorations out, watch Christmas movies with the kids, make cookies, and even create some special gifts for teachers and family and not have to pack it up before school started tomorrow or drag it back to my BQ in a few days. I finally have a place to comfortably do all the things I love to do with my children.
I believe I am a homebody at heart as I do love just being in my home or my family’s homes. I’m definitely most comfortable at home. I can take my shoes off, relax on the couch, take care of the every day business of life, and not feel the pressure of anyone waiting to meet or talk with me or needing my help in the classroom. I can just be me, annoyed at my children’s loud voices at times or making a grand mess in my kitchen with the flour for the gingerbread dough that turned out much sticker than it was supposed to be, and that’s okay. It’s my domain. And I have to admit, it sure it nice to have a domain again, and not one that exists solely online! ;)
I’ve waited for this to come to pass for a long time, thinking as I wished and prayed for it, “what if the house is not enough either?” Even asking myself, “am I one of those pessimistic people who is always going to find some other reason not to be completely satisfied in my circumstances no matter how spoiled I actually am?” Thank goodness that has not been the case. This place with my children is worth every extra hour at work, every night away from them, every frustration and hurdle I jumped to get to it because as much as I am a homebody, I became much more than that the day God blessed me with children. I am a mother above all else, and there’s no higher calling than that. A mother without a home and way to provide for her children is like a camp without a campfire. It makes it very difficult to provide warmth and light to your family, and there’s no gathering place to tell stories and share memories together.
With the strength of God and some very special people in my life, I was able to bring my boys through the last 3 years with light, warmth, and a place to be together, although the place rotated frequently and was never ours, but now I can rest a bit more. I can let go of the constant worry and guilt of not being able to fully be a mom to my children all the time. I have a peace I haven’t felt in a long time...as I type from my own home, just a few feet from my two precious sleeping boys in their room at the top of the stairs. Home sweet home...there’s nothing like it.
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