August 9-10, 2011-The Wee Morning Hours and Ooossssaaa…

     Yesterday, my boys arrived back on island, and you would think it was me, unadjusted to the time as it is now 6 am on the 10^th, and I can’t sleep anymore.  I know, that’s not really “wee morning hours” early, but I have been awake for a while, and when my usual schedule is to arrive at work at 8:30, I sleep until the sun begins streaming through my shades, but not today.  My body, in just a couple of days, has already adjusted to being up between 5-5:30 to open up our center at 6:45.  I am not opening this morning, so I was hoping to sleep in a bit, but instead, I will take advantage of being wide awake to blog, make coffee, and maybe even do a bit of yoga before beginning the day.  It’s been rough at work lately, a very negative atmosphere.  It’s funny how just one or two negative mindsets, shared daily with the rest of us turns everyone to negativity.  It ends up being a daily struggle to try and stay out of that negativity, and I must admit, it’s been a bit of a losing battle for me lately.  I’ll fallen into it just as everyone else has, but I am trying to pull myself out of it. I can’t change others’ minds, and I certainly can’t change their attitudes, but I can change mine.  I can make an effort to not allow others’ negativity to affect me that way.  It’s not easy, but it can be done.  As my friend and co-worker says, I need to practice more “Ooossssaaaa.” When one of the other of us is stressing out at work, we do a meditative or yogic type move or sometimes just hug while saying “ooossssaaa” and releasing all that negative junk to focus on something more productive.  It sounds silly, but that’s exactly why it works. It brings a smile to our faces and makes us think of something other than what is bothering us. I practice it with the boys all the time, do or say something funny when they are upset, and it brings a giggle while they forget about what was hurting them.

    For me, I simply have to learn to let go, focus on doing my job to the best of my ability, and not worry about how others are doing or trying to fix things in their areas that I am not responsible for fixing.   I am a bit of a caretaker though, and I have a hard time not helping others out at work when I know it’s something I can do for them easily.  It’s the same with my babies.  I want to fix everything for them and make sure everyone else is doing their best by them when it’s not my time or place to worry about it.  It doesn’t help right now that I am anxious about our futures on the island and elsewhere, but again, I have to learn to let go of that and let God take care of it.  Breathe in, breathe out, let go, ooossssaaaa….