Looking back at the entire week/weekend that has gone by since I last wrote, I wasn't sure what to write. Mostly, I've been working, spending weekends relaxing on Roi with my fiance and enjoying the last bit of summer before it slips away into more work with the return of school, birthdays, holidays, and more and more changes with a new school year, smaller budgets, debt crisis, and an unpredictable economy to keep our minds and lives fully occupied and our futures uncertain, but still blessed compared to what we could be going through. Mostly though, I just can't stop thinking about my sweet babies returning to "the rock" we all call home exactly one week from today! All I have had of them for over 6 weeks now to keep me close is pictures and words. My mom graciously sent pictures of the fun they had at their house last week, and once or twice a week I am able to reach them by phone to hear their voices. It's getting to the point of there not being much to say anymore, which to me means, it's time for them to come home! I miss them terribly.
As I browsed through photos from my workplace today (looking for pictures to put together in a collage for our director, who is PCSing soon), I found a few of my boys when they attended the preschool here. I couldn't help but smile, and it made me realize that no matter what the future holds for all of us, I have had so many precious years with them already! I am lucky to have been able to raise them in their younger years on the atoll with lots and lots of quality time and memories to go with it. It seems like so long ago when my youngest sported his gorgeous blond curls or when my older "spiderman" loved to swing at Emon Beach park, but it's been less than a decade since my oldest was brought into this world. I have often been told by parents whose children are grown that the only thing they really regret about the years when their kids were young was not just enjoying it more and worrying about every little thing less. I do get more anxious than necessary sometimes, but I also feel that I have enjoyed them (the last 4 years especially) in a really grand way, and hopefully I've enjoyed them enough to not have that regret in a few more years.
My "spidey sense" tells me that our lives will probably change drastically by this time next year, and I'm okay with that, even though I'm nervous and afraid at the same time. I have done all I can to make my boys and my own years here the best they could be, enjoying almost every type of outdoor/indoor recreation available, growing spiritually, professionally, and in my relationship with my boys in ways I never realized were possible for me. I've survived rough times as well, but learned from them to make myself a stronger and hopefully better person. Photos and words are never enough when you can have hugs and family dinners together, but the time away from my boys has given me perspective that will take me through the next challenge life has for us. I don't know if they will ever read all these words about them I've written over the last year, but I do know they have felt the love from my heart, the place these words flow from, and that's all that really matters...to know we are loved and experience the joy of loving someone back! Remember to enjoy the "loves of your life" today because you never know what tomorrow brings or how fast it will fly by, and you certainly don't want to have any regrets in regard to loving those most precious to you and enjoying life to the fullest while you can. Love and hugs to all of you from me! :-)
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