May 24-May 31, 2012-Summer Cometh with Wedding Bells!!

     The end of May has arrived with a whirlwind of activities to end the school year and take us into the quieter months of summer on the atoll. It’s a bit like a college town on the island in the timeframe of late June through early August.  Families leave by the droves for vacation and visits to families all over the world. The 3 flights a week that go toward Hawaii are usually booked solid for the first couple of weeks after school ends, and this year is no different.  Unlike many, who can’t stand too much quiet and the lack of people and events going on, I love the summers here.  It slows down to the pace I’d prefer to live my life all the time, but only get to when forced to slow down by summer’s inactivity.  Of course, this year, my summer will start off with many exciting events off the atoll, mainly my upcoming wedding on July7th, but after that, in late July, I look forward to coming back home and settling down for a while before life picks up again in the Fall. I desperately miss diving with my fiancé, spending an entire weekend in the house watching movies and reading books, going to the beach to sit in the warm sun and relax, and just taking the time to be with each other.  I think he feels it too….that there’s been precious little time for us between attending and helping with all the kids’ activities as well as keeping up with our own, so it’s time to get back to it.  Some of that bonding time may have to wait until we leave, but hopefully in the weeks we have left before mid-June, we’ll fit in some quality time together to tide us over for a bit longer. 

     We have only 3 weekends left before we leave for Oregon and only a little over a month before the wedding. I can’t believe it’s almost here, a summer to remember when my fiancé and I will take the next big step in our relationship. I have never been more sure about anything in my life except for my faith in God and my devotion to my boys.  We just fit together so naturally. I know that marriage is not always easy, and I know we will have our ups and downs, but the highs and especially the lows don’t panic me as they have in past relationships because of my confidence in our love and the commitment we already have to each other, even without that marriage license.  I’ve never known or felt that kind of unwavering trust or sense of ease about the future with any person before.  It will be a big change for us, to hopefully, be living on the same island and in the same household in just a couple of months from now, but I know we’ll weather the changes, positive and negative, compromising where we can and accepting each other as we are, quirks, faults, and all.    I look forward to seeing how far we’ve come in 5 or 10 years from now.  I look forward to my future with him and the life we have decided to share.  I look forward to love and marriage with the kind of man that just a few short years ago I never thought I’d find, but am so glad each day when I wake up that I did.  J  

May 22-23, 2012-And the Journey Continues…

     No matter what each day brings, difficulties at work, stress at home, not-stop tasks and duties to complete until you fall in bed exhausted at night, life goes on.  The journey continues even when your life is falling apart or when it’s coming together just as you always wanted.  People still have to pay their bills, take care of their families, eat, sleep, and hopefully, head home to laugh and love together.  I am thankful today for food, however simple it may be. I am thankful for phones to connect us to those we love. I am thankful for my children who bring so much joy to my heart just by the smiles on their faces and the stories they are always bursting to tell when they come home from a day full of adventures. I am thankful for God and His faithfulness, which is new every morning and always there for me and for all of His children. I am thankful for words, which give voice to my most inner thoughts and feelings and allow me to share my joys and sorrows with my family around the world.  I am thankful for life, health, and my ability to work and take care of my family and myself each and every day I wake up on earth. 

     I’ve written it before in this blog, and I’ll write it again. Starting and ending your day on a positive note, being thankful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t can and will completely change your life.  Not to be harsh, but think of it this way, life will go on whether you continue in it or not, so why not make it a good day, find joy in the little things, seek out peace wherever you can find it, be thankful that you are alive and well, make the most of it.  God intended us to live life to the fullest as Jesus states in John 10:10, “…I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  When you look up the definition for abundantly, of course since it is an adverb, derived from the root word abundant, it says, “in an abundant manner,” which doesn’t really tell us much about what that means, but when you look up synonyms for the same word, you will find things like, “plentifully, generously, inexhaustibly, and richly.” I love the fact that generously and inexhaustibly are included with the other synonyms because that’s what I feel most closely resembles living life abundantly, giving to others daily and being generous with our time, talents, and whatever God has blessed us with as well as being tireless in those efforts are what living life to the fullest is really all about.  God does not intend for us to mope through life, but to enjoy the world He created for us. My favorite verse and in fact, the one that is forever inked within my high school yearbook beside my senior picture is Jeremiah 29:11 which says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” God wants the best for us, and so, we should strive to obtain that best for ourselves as well.  No matter what obstacles life sends your way, take the lemons and make lemonade out of it and share this optimistic attitude with others. As you do so, watch how blessed your life suddenly becomes, whether in plenty or in need, you’ll be living life abundantly!!     

May 18-May 21, 2012 Scouting and 4-H End of Year Adventures!

     For the last month, I have been saying, “If I can just get through the month of May, then I’ll have a chance to breath, relax, catch up on my blog and upkeep on my house,” etc…and whew, it’s almost here.  If you have been a follower of my blog in the past, you know how much I tend to take on in terms of work, home, and volunteer commitments.  Some weeks, there is not one evening free to just be at home, and we often don’t eat until almost 8 pm, then it’s straight to bed to try and get some rest for school and work the next day. Yes, even life on an island can be overscheduled.  Just because there’s no malls, movie theaters, or long drives to and from all the after school events our kids are involved in, it seems to make people want to sign up for even more things to fill up their days, me included.  The two things though that I am most pleased about my boys and myself being involved in the last few years is the Cub/Boy Scouts and 4-H Clubs.  I was never a girl scout nor was I in 4-H growing up.  I don’t even think 4-H was ever available to me as I lived in the city, and in Alabama, 4-H is mostly offered in the rural farming areas because kids in the country don’t have all the other after school opportunities available to kids living in a city.  Unfortunately, I think I really missed out in that way, so that’s probably why I’ve enjoyed being a leader in 4-H and Scouts so much because I am learning right along with the kids and being a kid again myself in certain ways that I didn’t have the chance to do before. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of extra-curricular activities with piano, dance, gymnastics, church choir and youth group, but my children don’t have as many opportunities for that kind of stuff here, and the scouting and 4-H organizations fill that void in a very meaningful way!

     The past 2 weeks, we finished up our final scouting events, including making and testing our own kites in the Wolf Den for which I am the leader (or Akela as they call it), and we had our last big Pack event with a campout for all the scout, Cubs and Boys down at the beach.  Unfortunately, it started pouring rain on Thursday and hasn’t really stopped until this morning, but that’s okay. We still camped in the rain (although as my fiancé and I watched the rain until late that evening from a covered pavilion near the campsite, several families ended up biking home during one of the lulls in the rain since many of their tents were not made for our “monsoon” type weather and were flattened on the ground or at least leaking heavily), and despite the wet weather, the young boys couldn’t have loved it more. For them, it was an excuse to get out and play in the rain, and what better activities are there in life for some rough and tumble island kids than jumping in puddles and catching crabs on the beach in the warm rain!

     Unlike many of the other families’ tents, the tent my finance and I stayed in made it through despite the fact that we had to set it back up on the patio at home the next morning to dry it out, and my boys both stayed with friends in 2 man tents that held up very well. It was a perfect way to end the scouting year.  I watched my oldest move up from a Webelos Scout to a Boy Scout, which is very exciting for him. And I got to lead my Wolves in becoming Bear Scouts next year, and we had more fun than I ever could have imagined I would as my group of 5 boys are some of the most rambunctious on the atoll, but you gotta love that energy which never fades. J   I’m so proud of them both and proud to have been such a big part of their scouting journey this year.  The scouts provide not only character education, but a wide variety of various experiences and exposure to all aspects of life, academics, and most of all, they teach responsibility and how these boys can take care of themselves and contribute to their families and communities in a big way while having fun doing it!  

     To continue wrapping up my many commitments this year, today we have our final 4-H event of the year, a cookout at the beach! It’s been another great year for me in 4-H leading my Ebeye Citizenship group, and I can’t wait to see them one more time this evening before we are break for the summer.  I’ve lead this club for 4 years now, and every year, I consider whether or not it’s time to pass on the torch or possibly end this chapter in the life of the Citizenship Club, and every year, I decide to keep going, and it always turns out to be worth the effort as I watch our Marshallese and American kids enjoy their monthly meetings together giving back to the community and each other in such a meaningful way.  I have found since living here that I am feel most fulfilled when I am giving back to others in some way, when I am investing time in teaching and guiding people, especially children and young people.  Whether it’s reading to my son’s second grade class and talking about what we have read afterwards or leading a group of kids in planting a garden or cleaning up school grounds and talking about the importance of taking pride in and care of nature and our environments, I am content when doing these things, even when it takes time away from me cleaning my house or getting other important chores done.  It’s these memories I will cherish most when I leave the atoll and when my own children grow up and become too old to be a part of these groups. I do hope their experiences in 4-H and Scouting will stick with them, and that they will find the same joy in teaching others through these types of organizations and maybe, just maybe decide to become leaders for their own children or someone else’s because these are the important things which life is made of, rich character building experiences and camping in the rain while loving every minute of it!  

May 13-18, 2012 Pre-Marital Chatting…

     For the past few weeks, my fiancé and I have been going through pre-marital counseling with my cousin (who also happens to be our minister for our upcoming marriage).  Over the past 18 months, he assigned us to read several books which would help us to identify each other’s love languages, needs, wants, etc…and how to meet them in the long term marriage relationship. There was also a book on finances and how to manage money wisely, save for the future, and so forth. The final book we have to complete is actually a workbook of sorts to prepare us for marriage, and each week for the last 3 weeks or so, we have been receiving a phone call at 2 pm our time on Monday to discuss the “homework” we’ve been completing in our workbook. During our chats, my cousin (who is my age, but has been successfully married for 16 years with 4 children-two about the same age as my two) does not go through the answers to our homework with us, he merely brings up the topics we were asked to be thinking and writing about in our homework and gives us a chance to really consider subjects and potential issues that may arise in our future marriage and talk about how we might resolve those or deal with them.  He often speaks from his own experience (which I love as personal experience has always taught me more than just words in a book about what you should or shouldn’t do) and gently guides us in topics of discussion for the next week.  For example, last week, we talked about family rules we had growing up, how we expect to handle holidays and vacations as a couple, our family responsibilities around the house, conflict resolution, dealing with sickness, and elderly parents.  Many of these things may be way in the future for us, but many of them we have already started to deal with to some degree. And although, there are still plenty of things I realize would be beneficial for us to discuss or at least put out on the table for how we might handle this later on, I am pleased to say that we already have discussed or just naturally fallen into a good place with how we handle so many aspects of life as a couple. For me, this natural flow confirms even more how right we are for each other and reassures me that our marriage will be able to weather any storm that comes its way. 

    In so many ways, this marriage feels like a first for me, and that makes me very happy. I often feel that my fiancé deserves more than someone who was married before and failed at that marriage, so to know that we are both going through so much of this marriage for the first time together is like God wiping away my past and truly giving me another chance and a new start to do things right this time.  For example, I never went through pre-marital counseling before; I never planned a wedding before (it was all done for me); I never had my father walk me down the isle (which he feels bad about, but I am extremely excited for because it’s so right this time-it just makes more sense that he should be there in a way he couldn’t be before); I never had my brothers or any extended family attend, and so on and so forth.  God is amazing. He has made it all new again, like the very first time.  In some small way, that makes me feel better for my fiancé too. That he knows we are both doing this truly for the first time.  And so, I look forward to our next call today, although I admit, I am not finished with my homework yet.  I’ll get it done by the time he calls as I usually work better under pressure anyway. J  Wish me luck! 

April 20-May 12, 2012 Reflecting on the last 15 Years…

     At this time 15 years ago, I was an island “newbie,” having been a Kwajalein resident for less than 2 months.  I still can’t believe that over 15 years have gone by, and I am now considered, “an old timer.”  When I first started this blogging journey, I believed I may only have a year or less left on the island, and now, it’s been 2 years, and my life on an atoll blog continues…albeit with a few less entries, but I ‘m still standing, living life on a tiny piece of coral in the middle of the Pacific.  The fact is my life could change in an instant, and tomorrow I could be getting ready to PCS (Permanent Change of Station), just like so many of my friends have over the years. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that, but I am trusting God to lead me through it when it comes. 

     My life has completely been turned upside down since my first months in the Marshalls, but I don’t regret a minute of it.  When I do leave, it will be with a heavy heart and a mind full of fond memories.  Marriage, divorce, the birth of two children, growing up and finding myself and my passions in life, all of these things have happened during my time as an island girl.  And now, I even get to start again, a new marriage to a man I never could have dreamed would fall in love with me, a relationship like none other I’ve ever had, and I get to try again, to show my children, myself, and him, what real love and a healthy marriage relationship looks and feels like.  Just as I wrote in my blog on the eve of my engagement, I am a lucky girl! No matter what the future holds, I am blessed, thanks to God. 

     The trials and tribulations of life are what makes us who we are.  I am in a good place now, but that has not always been the case. There have been many hard years here, and I thank God for those too.  My faith is stronger than ever; I’m a better parent than I’ve ever been; I believe in myself more than I ever have, and I am more capable in the workplace than when I first began.  All of these things come because of experiences, good and bad.  Through all the tears and gnashing of teeth, I have come out of the fire more refined and wiser.  I am not even close to being finished yet. As one of my favorite songs from my days in the church choir as a young girl states, “He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.” I know there is much more work to be done, but I can honestly say at this moment in time that I am content in my present circumstances. Just as Paul writes in Philippians 4:11, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (NIV Translation).    Praise God for sharing His secrets with me. During those years in my tiny “dorm room” on this atoll, when I could not live in the same house with my children, when they could not even come visit me in my bachelor’s quarters, I prayed to know that kind of contentment that Paul was talking about in those verses.  God has answered that prayer and taught me just what He meant. Now I pray when those tough times come again, which may be very soon, I will continue to know His peace and find contentment in that place too. 

     As I reflect upon the last 15 years of my island life, I challenge all of you to find contentment in your current plot in life, your present situation, whether in need or in plenty. It makes living so much more worth the while. Even on a tropical island, life has its ups and downs. No place or person is perfect, but if we strive each day to find God and His peace in our lives, it becomes as perfect as it can be because it’s not really about everything going our way, but about us finding a way to make peace with what we have been given and what challenges life has dealt us no matter what!