Sunday, May 20, 2012

April 20-May 12, 2012 Reflecting on the last 15 Years…


     At this time 15 years ago, I was an island “newbie,” having been a Kwajalein resident for less than 2 months.  I still can’t believe that over 15 years have gone by, and I am now considered, “an old timer.”  When I first started this blogging journey, I believed I may only have a year or less left on the island, and now, it’s been 2 years, and my life on an atoll blog continues…albeit with a few less entries, but I ‘m still standing, living life on a tiny piece of coral in the middle of the Pacific.  The fact is my life could change in an instant, and tomorrow I could be getting ready to PCS (Permanent Change of Station), just like so many of my friends have over the years. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that, but I am trusting God to lead me through it when it comes. 
     My life has completely been turned upside down since my first months in the Marshalls, but I don’t regret a minute of it.  When I do leave, it will be with a heavy heart and a mind full of fond memories.  Marriage, divorce, the birth of two children, growing up and finding myself and my passions in life, all of these things have happened during my time as an island girl.  And now, I even get to start again, a new marriage to a man I never could have dreamed would fall in love with me, a relationship like none other I’ve ever had, and I get to try again, to show my children, myself, and him, what real love and a healthy marriage relationship looks and feels like.  Just as I wrote in my blog on the eve of my engagement, I am a lucky girl! No matter what the future holds, I am blessed, thanks to God. 
     The trials and tribulations of life are what makes us who we are.  I am in a good place now, but that has not always been the case. There have been many hard years here, and I thank God for those too.  My faith is stronger than ever; I’m a better parent than I’ve ever been; I believe in myself more than I ever have, and I am more capable in the workplace than when I first began.  All of these things come because of experiences, good and bad.  Through all the tears and gnashing of teeth, I have come out of the fire more refined and wiser.  I am not even close to being finished yet. As one of my favorite songs from my days in the church choir as a young girl states, “He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.” I know there is much more work to be done, but I can honestly say at this moment in time that I am content in my present circumstances. Just as Paul writes in Philippians 4:11, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (NIV Translation).    Praise God for sharing His secrets with me. During those years in my tiny “dorm room” on this atoll, when I could not live in the same house with my children, when they could not even come visit me in my bachelor’s quarters, I prayed to know that kind of contentment that Paul was talking about in those verses.  God has answered that prayer and taught me just what He meant. Now I pray when those tough times come again, which may be very soon, I will continue to know His peace and find contentment in that place too. 
     As I reflect upon the last 15 years of my island life, I challenge all of you to find contentment in your current plot in life, your present situation, whether in need or in plenty. It makes living so much more worth the while. Even on a tropical island, life has its ups and downs. No place or person is perfect, but if we strive each day to find God and His peace in our lives, it becomes as perfect as it can be because it’s not really about everything going our way, but about us finding a way to make peace with what we have been given and what challenges life has dealt us no matter what! 

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