“You have been my defense and refuge in the day of my
trouble.” Psalm 59:16
Most of the days
since my last entry have been spent on vacation. We left on the 22nd
and have been in Oregon ever since. During
that time, it’s hit me hard. My oldest son will not be coming back to Kwajalein
with me, and it will be 4 months until I see him again. Thus, the reason I chose the above verse for
today. God is my defense and refuge in
my day of trouble. The only reason why I
am able to handle this at all is because I am giving it over to God. I cannot stand over my babies and protect
them all their lives. I cannot go with them to school every day, and I cannot
control what happens to them, but I never imagined I would have to let either
of them go so entirely so early on in their lives. This is the test for me, to put my trust
fully in God that He will take care of my baby boy over the next 4 months, that
He will keep him in His care and protect Him from all the things I cannot at
such a distance from him. The vacation
may have been fairly quiet so far, especially compared to the last 2 years when
my husband and I were busily preparing for our wedding last summer, but my mind
has certainly not been quiet. It’s been
very, very busy going through this tough transition.
Lord, help me to
let go and trust you fully to take care of your child which you so graciously
have given to me to mother. Provide my
baby and his mother with peace beyond understanding and the ability to stop,
take a deep breath, and keep on going during the tough days. Surround my son with your loving arms each
day and help him to know and feel my love for him as well. Support our family
through this transition and bring my baby back safely to me when it’s time to
come home.
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