November 5: Writing Prompt #309-Intense

Describe the last time you were surprised by the intensity of a feeling you had about something, or were surprised at how strongly you reacted to something you thought wouldn’t be a big deal.

When I read the e-mail from my ex saying he was moving back overseas and that our oldest son would be going with him, I thought I was okay.  I knew this was a possibility because both my boys had said their dad was thinking of going back to the island, but once it really hit me that it was happening and within just a few weeks of the notification I was given, tears and panic set in.  I don’t know why, exactly.  One of the reasons we decided to move back when we did was for my oldest, for the purpose of at least living in the same country with him and being able to more easily afford to see him throughout the year, and it had only been 2 years since he left to move back to the states (and only a year and a ½ for us).  Now, it was all about to change again. It was disheartening to me, to say the least, even though I knew my son would be happy to go back and that his Kwaj family would be there for him. 

Divorce is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a family, and nobody ever plans to be divorced when they get married. I knew it would be difficult, and emotionally, it’s extremely intense, but what I was not prepared for was the fear, panic, and general, daily anxiety it would bring.  For the first few years after the divorce, there was a lot of that.  Our parenting styles are very different and adjusting to the boys going back and forth was harder than I ever could have imagined it would be. Honestly, gaining distance between us and providing each of our boys with the opportunity to live in one home the majority of the year (verses going back and forth throughout the week and every other weekend) has been a positive move for everyone.  The panic, fear, and anxiety was under control (as if it never existed and hadn’t for awhile) until I received that e-mail.  It brought it all back, for a bit.  Then, I gave it back to God and recognized that if this is something my son wanted, and he was happy, safe, and healthy, I needed to support and accept that and put my own selfish desires behind me (where they had been before rearing their ugly head again). I let go of a lot over those initial years after the divorce, and I discovered a way to find contentment in whatever situation I was presented or put in, but for a moment, I lost that peace, and I didn’t like it.

November 4: Writing Prompt #308-It Builds Character

Tell us about a favorite character from film, theater, or literature, with whom you’d like to have a heart-to-heart. What would you talk about?

I would choose to have a heart-to-heart with Laura Ingalls Wilder (Feb 7, 1867-Feb 10, 1957). I loved her books as a child and later on the TV show based on the books. I wanted to live like her.  I thought it would be such an interesting and fun life, and then I grew up and realized that living as an early settler in the Midwest may have been interesting, but very challenging as well. Because Mrs. Wilder lived during not only the late 1800’s, but also into the mid 1900’s, I would like to talk to her about the differences between the lifestyles of those times and see whether or not she would have chosen an “easier” life of a later decade if she had the opportunity to do so.  I would also like to know her life lessons and words for wisdom for the families, women, and writers of today.  Who would you choose?

November 3: Writing Prompt #307-Placebo Effect

If you could create a painless, inexpensive cure for a single ailment, what would you cure and why?

I’m going to be a little selfish on this one and say the single ailment I would cure would be arthritis.  Now if you are talking about major disease, I would choose to cure all forms of cancer, but ailment (according to my online dictionary) means an illness, typically a minor one, so I’ll choose a cure for the various forms of arthritis.  Funny thing is, since I have myself been struggling with the beginnings of arthritis in my knees, I have discovered it’s a fairly common ailment of men and women, and not just elderly men and women. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control), 1 in 5 adults have doctor-diagnosed arthritis.  A cure for arthritis would help a lot of us feel physically as young as our hearts and minds still feel.    

November 2: Writing Prompt #306-Conflicted

You’re in the middle of a terrible argument, and everyone turns to you to help resolve it. How do you respond? How do you react to conflict?

I listen. When two or more people come to me to work out a problem, I listen, to both sides, equally. I allow each person to express what they are feeling, repeat back to them what I am hearing and make suggestions, if needed, to help them communicate with each other better and work out their conflict. 

I generally shy away from conflict, but often, conflict comes to you, so when it does, I do my best to stay calm and try to understand the problem from everyone’s perspective before responding. I’m certainly not perfect, but sometimes what we need is just someone to vent to and talk about possible solutions. Most of us know what we should do or could do to resolve a conflict deep down, but we are too emotional to react appropriately at the moment, so we need to talk it out and settle for awhile.  It’s certainly what I often need to do first before moving to solve.  How about you? How do you deal with conflict? 

November 1: Writing Prompt #305-Eat, Drink and Be Merry...

...for tomorrow we die. The world is ending tomorrow! Tell us about your last dinner — the food, your dining companions, the setting, the conversation.

My last supper…

The food: Grilled Salmon with my husband’s hollandaise sauce, asparagus, and a warm, buttery fresh baked loaf of crusty bread. For dessert, Crème Brule with caramelized sugar on top. Oh, and of course, a room temperature King Estate Pinot Noir from Oregon. 

My Dining Companions: My husband, my two children, and my dog.

The Setting: A camp site, either on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean or beneath a magnificent mountain in a canopy of tall, thick evergreen trees and with nothing but each other and the sounds of nature to keep us company. 

The Conversation: Storytelling….sharing our favorite life memories both with each other and on our own.  During the years I lived in a BQ, some of the best times I had with my immediate family were camping at my husband’s beach shack, grilling out, and telling stories. The boys would ask for more every time my husband starting telling them, and when he ran out (as he’s a better storyteller than me), they’d ask me, and as we told stories and spent weekends camping and hanging out on this remote island in the sea, we were also creating more memories and stories to tell as we grew up and together.  Those were the days…..to remember, and if I could spend my last moments reliving those with my babies and my darling, I would do it in a heartbeat, no matter what the dinner was or even the setting as long as it was just us (no TV, no video games, no other distractions) and our unique, familiar memories to keep our minds engaged and our hearts full.