January 7, 2011- Cheese and Crackers...

     Today, at lunch, my children each had a “lunchable.” These consist of Ritz crackers, processed cheese slices, and processed turkey meat.  I know, it sounds “delicious,” doesn’t it?  Unfortunately, both my kids are picky eaters and have gotten used to the processed kid foods the world has “marketed” us into eating over the natural, healthier options.  The worst part is that my youngest only eats the crackers and cheese, and that’s about all he eats, period! It’s so hard to be creative and make him eat anything else. He has very sensitive and discriminating taste buds (or “taste bugs” as he used to call them), and he knows if there’s anything else on his cheese pizza or in his grilled cheese than just cheese and bread. In fact, he regularly asks before eating anything provided him, “Is this just cheese?”  At the chow hall on Roi this past weekend, he was holding his nose while he ate his grilled cheese, so I asked him, “Is something wrong with your sandwich? Why are you holding your nose while you eat it?” He replied with, “It smells like it has pickles on it.”  My boyfriend and I figure he’s either going to be a cheese taster at the famous “Tillamook Cheese Factory” some day or some type of famous chef because his pallet is so discriminating. There were no pickles on the sandwich, but he smelled something else in the dining hall and had trouble keeping it from his taste buds. 

     Maybe it’s because of the lack of vision in one eye that he’s developed an extra keen sense of smell. Who knows, but I usually compare him to Frances from the book, “Bread and Jam for Frances” by Russell Hoban, which is about a kid just like my little boy, a picky eater.  At lunch, while eating his cheese and crackers, he said, “why do I always have to eat cheese and crackers?” I responded, “because that’s the only thing you like.”  This is just like Frances in the story, who only eats bread and jam for every meal and snack of the day while everyone else around her has a variety of delicious foods.

     As I struggle to figure out why he only eats these two items, I think of how crazy his young life has been, the second child of parents who divorced when he was very young, then traveling around from place to place every other weekend for three years just to enjoy time with mom, and so many other little changes to his life and schedule regularly thrown at him from early on. He is definitely a “structure craving” child. He does not adjust well to quick changes in routine or transitions. He’s become much better at it, but as a preschooler, I had to “prepare him” before any change in his daily life ahead of time, so that he wouldn’t “freak out,” so to speak, and pitch a huge fit.  He has also always been in need of a certain amount of control over his circumstances, ever since he was a baby, which shows how much of those traits are genetic and not just learned.  All children need some structure and personal power over them circumstances as they grow, but I do believe, from my own experience as an educator and a mom, that some children need much more of it than others.  We have to be able to adjust our strategies for working with our kids as mothers and teachers to different personalities and needs of the children in our care, and my youngest has taught me a lot about how to do that as he is so very different from his big brother. 

     In regards to my son’s eating habits, I’ve decided that his “cheese and crackers” is a symbol of structure for him; it’s knowing just what to expect, and it gives him his measure of control at least 3 times a day when “he decides” what he will eat, not someone else.  We all need that sometimes, that reassurance that life is stable and not going to change on us all of a sudden, and if cheese and crackers helps him get through the day, then cheese and crackers it is. I do hope, at some point, that he will learn to enjoy the abundance of fabulous foods and choices the world has to offer and roll a little easier with the changes it will most definitely send his way, but for now, I will continue to stock up on his “staple structure foods” and thus provide him with the stable environment he needs to grow into that very big, well-defined, and strong-willed personality of his. :)