March 29, 2011-Preparing to leave once again...

     It's the night before we leave in a jet plane for the states once again.  I have been frantically cleaning out the fridge, sweeping and washing the rugs, taking out the last of the garbage and recycling, as well as trying to pick out some clothes, shoes, jewelry, and work related materials and deciding where and how to pack them all so I'll have access to what I need on the plane and can take through security, access to what I might need if luggage (cross your fingers) gets lost temporarily, and quick access to a change of clothes and toiletries that we'll need for our short stay in Hawaii before hoping another red eye flight to Alabama to see my baby boy.  I have definitely learned from my travels back and forth over the last decade plus on the atoll. I can pack pretty quickly and live without lots of things if need be.  At any rate, you may not hear much from me for a couple of days, but the next time I write, it will be from the beautiful state of Alabama all the way back across the international dateline on the other side of the world from the small atoll I've come to call home.  Say a prayer for us tonight for safe travels if you have a chance as flying still gives me a nervous stomach no matter how many times I've done it.

March 28, 2011- The Chore Chart...

     A couple of weeks ago, I started my nine year old son on a chore chart in response to his complaint that he wished he had more money to buy all the things he wanted.  He had just spent about $30 of his own money on a video game, and knowing we were heading to the states soon, where there would be so much more he would see at the mall and want, he was concerned that he wouldn't have enough to get anything else.  So, I suggested he start earning weekly allowance money by doing chores. Surprisingly, he agreed to it and has impressed me with making his bed regularly, putting away his own laundry, helping out with yard work, and doing various other tasks around the house that normally is accompanied by much whining and complaining. 
     I've tried charts like this in the past for my kids with special privileges being given when they do well, but it's never really stuck  long term.  This time, I think we can make it work.  I mean, I have my very own "chore chart" every week called my "to-do list." This is a very useful concept to teach my son.  Of course, things like hanging his towel up after he takes a shower, taking his plate to the kitchen after dinner, and generally cleaning up after himself are not part of the chore chart, much to his chagrin.  I explained to him that those are habits he should be in without having to be compensated for it.  After all, as adults, we do that kind of stuff every day without thinking, hopefully. That or someone is doing it for us or we are living like slobs. :)
     I hope that my son will learn to appreciate these habits and even begin to find intrinsic motivation to take care of his home and himself one day, showing respect and consideration for those he lives and shares his life with.  My "to do list" is motivated intrinsically now.  I don't do the yard work because I am getting paid, and I don't clean the house because someone is giving me special privileges to do it.  I am motivated to do it because it makes life more pleasant, because it keeps the chaos to a minimum, and because it's healthy for me and my family and shows pride in the blessing of having my own home that I worked so hard to get in the first place.  Who ever thought I chore chart could teach so much? No matter how much or little my son gets out of the chart, it's a starting place toward independence, toward teaching responsibility, respect for your home and your parents, and consideration of others living in the same space, and that's worth more money than I could ever hand to him out of my small wallet.  :) 

March 27, 2011- Big, Big Talent...Itty, Bitty Island!

     Tonight, my fiance and my son attended the Yokwe Yuk Women's Club annual Kaleidoscope of Music event with me.  Even though this event has been occurring for several years now, it was my first year to attend.  The women's club runs, completely through volunteers, the Micronesia Handicraft Shop (selling local handcrafts), the Bargain Bazaar (selling donations from the community of anything and everything you can think of-like a consignment shop), and this dedicated ladies' group sponsors several fundraising events each year.   A majority of these events go to support education in Micronesia, particularly on Ebeye and the outer islands, but the Kaleidoscope is set aside for senior scholarships for youth attending the base school right here on Kwajalein.
     There were over 20 acts of all ages and kinds performing piano pieces, saxophone duets and ensembles, and several guitarists and full bands playing and singing modern day rock songs, classic Gershwin pieces and several folk and bluegrass type numbers.  There were a few original pieces, including one by a 13 year old future song writer along with some old hat performers who sing and play for all sorts of island functions simply because they enjoy it.  For the first time, an entire family got up on stage playing piano, bongos, and guitars while the only daughter (aged around 12) of the family of 5 sung "I Hope you Dance."   It was amazing! There were also some hip hop and lyrical dancers from the dance recital last weekend doing a repeat performance, and the ever popular "Pure Polynesia" band, which is who you call on when you desire true island style musical accompaniment at a birthday party or other such important celebration. The entire night of performances was well worth the two plus hours of sitting in the audience along with the small monetary amount it cost to attend.  For an itty, bitty island that doesn't have any museums, orchestras, playhouses, and other sorts of cultural events and places to visit, it sure makes up for it in the amount of big, big talent brought to the atoll through the people who choose to live here and share their love of music and their skills with us! Life is what you make of it, and even on a small piece of coral in the middle of the ocean, you can find a whole lot of talent and culture, as long as you are just willing to get out of your house and support the local organizations and events happening around town!     

March 26, 2011- The Challenges of Friendship...

     Even the best of friends don't always see eye to eye, but the test of true friendship is the ability to work through those differences and remain loyal to each other and the commitment you've made to be "BFF's" (best friends forever).  I don't have a ton of really close friends. I was never in the "popular clique" in high school, and even though I have certainly overcome my almost painful shyness as I've grown into an adult, I am still not a social butterfly, per say, seeking out friendship and attending every social occasion I am invited to because I need or crave the social networking that seems to fill a void in some people's lives.  I am, more so than not, a homebody, so one or two really close friendship is all I desire.  The long lasting friendships I do have are those that are build on mutual trust, support, and commitment to each other.  They are not "fair weather" friendships; they are anything but that.  They are not "small talk" friendships, which I consider merely acquaintances.  If I have nothing else to talk to you about than the weather or the gossip around the island than our friendship probably doesn't run very deep.  The friends I deem life long are those I can share my most painful moments in life with. Today, I had to discuss a very difficult subject with a friend, and I needed to be able to say exactly what I felt. I needed to know I could say what was going on in my head and heart in order for us to move forward and continue in our friendship without any awkwardness, distrust, or feelings of leaving something unsaid, and thankfully, I was able to do just that, as I believe she was too.
     In my short journey through this life, I have found that the moment I no longer feel comfortable letting someone know how I feel or what I am thinking, that's the moment that friendship will begin to fall by the wayside. I am a very open, honest, and at times, emotional person, wearing my heart on my sleeve.  Once I feel comfortable around someone new, once I feel that you are genuine, I will open up. More times than not, this has ended up in hurt for me, so I am more guarded about sharing my full, true self with people anymore, and that's too bad.  It's sad that we cannot always fully be who we are with anyone and everyone we meet.  It's unfortunate that it is so hard to make true, life long friends.  That's where this blog has been an eye opener for me.  To put myself out there to mostly family, but certainly a stranger or two, is my way around that boundary the world and its hurts have put on me.  Writing is the one way I AM not so guarded, the one way I AM comfortable being completely myself with anyone and everyone who wishes to take the time to get to know me and hopefully gain something from my life lessons being shared through these words.
     Friendship comes with it's share of challenges, just as putting yourself out there does, but in the end, it's worth it to go through several bad friendship experiences in order to find that one who will never be far from your heart and that one who you know will be there for you no matter what.  So, what have I learned from these challenges of friendship? To never let myself become totally closed off to anyone, to never let myself succumb to fear or total distrust of all people because if I do that, I may miss out on that BFF I never knew I could have.  If you are not willing to open up and try again, even after being hurt, you will never know what life saving friendship or special hoped for relationship you might have gained from not letting fear rule your interactions with others.  It's not always easy, but how dull would life be if we had no challenges to learn from, no experiences to share, nothing to teach or grow from?  I choose life and friendships with all the ups and downs because it's better than no life at all!

March 25, 2011- Bullies!

      Bullies come in all kinds of different packages.  They may arrived disguised as a concerned parent threatening teachers with their sheer size and using irrational words stemming from their greatest fears, which unfortunately, they are unknowingly passing on to their children as well.  OR the bully may come in the form of a little girl who tells your son that her friend is going to beat him up after school or says his hair smells like puke, then tattles on him to teachers saying he pushed her or said mean things.  As an adult, you become used to people not always behaving appropriately. You learn that everyone is not always kind, loving, and considerate of others, but it always surprises me how quickly children learn this type of behavior and begin using it against each other.  In the American Heritage College Dictionary,  a bully is defined as, "A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, esp. to smaller or weaker people." and "To force one's way aggressively or by intimidation." What drives a bully to the point of feeling like they have to get their way using aggression or intimidation rather than using love and kindness?  I think it's fear....for adults, fear of things they can't control, like protecting their children from every possible harm in the world, including bullies they will run into at school or in life someday. For kids, I think it's fear of not having friends or not being "like liked" by the kids they like, but instead of attempting to gain those friends through softness, they become the "hard, tough" kids who use their fists or words to seem better than others and to make themselves feel better when they are really just lonely.
     What's the solution? Well, there will always be bullies, and this week, I've had to deal with that fact with my own child.  I remember getting picked on as a very shy, emotional girl in elementary school, being called a "cry baby" for years. I hated it.  Those years growing up were not easy because kids can be so cruel, but I had put it behind me until today. Seeing my son in tears over the mean things kids are doing to him at school and needing me to come to tennis with him tonight because he's now uncomfortable around these classmates is like a knife in an open wound.  To a certain extent, there's nothing I can do about it.  The kids have not physically hurt my child, and mostly it's little girls who I think like my child but do not know how to express it appropriately, so it's not a case of extreme bullying to be reported. In a sense, it's just kid's stuff, just the hard kind of kid's stuff.  My baby will have to learn those difficult truths about life and people like I did, all on his own and through some possibly tough experiences. I can be here to comfort him, to teach him how he should react and behave, despite any negative treatment he receives from bullies, but I do not have control over how others will treat him and make him feel.  I can talk to him and teach him about not being a bully himself, and hopefully that will be enough to get him through and to assist him growing up as an adult who has the knowledge and ability to deal with life without becoming a bully himself.
     There are tons of websites on bullying (like the one found at this link, "Pete's Power Point Station," which uses PowerPoint presentations made by kids for kids) to help you and your kids learn about bullying and how to deal with it. In the past, our guidance counselor at school, has covered it with the third grade class my son is a part of this year, but in the absence of that teaching this year, I think it's time I covered it myself at home.  Sharing some of the PowerPoint presentations from the website above and helping my kids learn about what and who they are dealing with and why it's happening is my new task for the weekend.  Knowledge is power, right!  I encourage you to do the same; teach your kids about bullying before they are bullied or become one themselves. It's hard enough growing up, but without guidance from parents on important issues like these, kids feel lost and alone and often become the bully.  Take the time to sit down with them today and make their lives so much better because you took a moment to show them how much you care!

March 24, 2011- Training to Save Lives...

       Recently, and as part of the requirement for the new job I started back in October, I received training to be an instructor in CPR and First Aid.  Today and tomorrow are my first times to actually have to put that training into action by teaching more than one person at a time.  Interestingly enough, I had a personal experience to relate to them from the very start with the section that discusses reasons that people tend to be reluctant to help or step in during an emergency situation.  At the bowling alley on Saturday night, a woman slipped on the freshly waxed lanes and hit her head on the hard wood floor.  Immediately, several people in the group she was playing with surrounded her to help, so my fiance and I both stayed back, thinking they had it in hand.  Then, they began to try and help her up, which we knew from our training in the past, was not a good idea with a possible serious head or neck injury, so we stepped in, although still cautiously, to advice them to have her stay down on the ground until help could arrive.  The bowling attendant appeared a little scared and since I knew him personally, I wanted to see if he was doing okay and needed any further help.  I asked if he had called 911, and he hadn't yet, so we made sure he did that, and then kept a watch on the lady. He got her some ice wrapped in a towel for her head and pretty soon, she seemed to be drifting off into sleep, so once again, as bystanders, we were concerned, because if she had a concussion, you don't want her  to go to sleep like that.  We encouraged her to stay awake, and within minutes, the EMS personnel had arrived to take care of the rest.  By the way, I did see her out walking a couple of days later, and we chatted. She's okay, which was my concern, and I was glad to be able to touch base with her and know that.  She thanked me for my  help, but I really didn't feel like I did anything much and certainly not as much as I could have done if I hadn't been a little scared for her myself.
     Unfortunately and surprising to me, I held myself back out of fear that I would do something wrong or that I wasn't making the right decisions in regard to her care.  There were also lots of other people around, and I began to make the assumption that they must know what to do, so I stayed back a little longer rather than stepping up right away.  Knowing now that I have that fear, I hope that I will be able to overcome it next time. Nobody is going to make all the right decisions all the time, but some help is better than no help or even possibly untrained help.  Her reaction to me afterwards also encouraged me to step up more fully and immediately next time because in the end, early intervention and help from even a layperson like me, can make all the difference in saving a life in an emergency situation!

March 23, 2011- Awesome Artwork!!

     Today, my son's teacher called to tell me she had some artwork of my son's I might want to pick up.  I was super excited because I knew it was the artwork from the art show they had a couple of weeks ago at school. As they get older and school becomes more about learning to read, write, do multiplication, and understand social studies and science, there's not as much of the fun stuff that comes home for keepsakes of their childhood, so I always look forward to seeing what "Art Mama" as she is fondly called by the kids, has in store for them each year. Unfortunately, the "specials" teachers often get forgotten in the midst of the more essential "academic" skills the parents tend to focus on their children mastering as they grow, but I love that my children have art, music, PE, and computers class in addition to their regular work because it makes them more well-rounded, and it gives them much needed breaks from the norm and time to become a little more cultured and refined in a small island world that doesn't provide them many other opportunities for that.  There's no operas or orchestras to go see, no marching bands at football games, no museums or art shows to visit, except for Art Mama's shows, like the one two weeks ago that I neglected to mention in the midst of tennis lessons, Tsunamis, and my son's journey on the airplane in the heart of the storm brewing, but that I didn't want to leave out entirely because it's too important!
     Art Mama explores a different theme for the artwork produced by the kids each year.  This time around, she focused on "Wonders of the World," ranging from "Nessy" the Loch Ness Monster, to the St. Basil's Cathedral in Russia and the wonder of a geode found in an ordinary rock.  The show itself is put on in one of the open meeting rooms at the elementary school called the Coconut Room. One week it's for the K-3rd grades to show off their work, and the next for the 4th-6th graders.  There are tables, walls, and this time, even a cabinet full of artwork to "ooh" and "ahh" over, and it helps fulfill my longing to wander the halls of a art museum as I check out all the fascinating and beautiful interpretations of the wonders of the world that artists I know have personally created. My 1st and 3rd grader each had about three pieces of artwork in the show.  I have them all nicely tucked away in my rosewood trunk upstairs in my room where I am saving all their treasures for later years to come, but the ones that stood out most to me are the "Abominable Snowman" drawing the three graders did. So many had this fluffy perception of the snowman playing with kids in the snow. It was just fabulous! The geode pinch pots the 1st graders made were stunning as they glittered in the lights of the room.  The watercolor and shiny papers of the "St. Basil's Cathedral" collages really turned out nicely, and the carefully cut out chalked and waxed construction paper butterflies made me smile broadly (especially at the fact that the art teacher considers "butterflies" a wonder of the world because I do too!) It was a wonderful show as usual and packed the whole time I was there with not only beaming parents, but also plenty of kids, happy to show off their work to each other.  So, this blog is in tribute to "Art Mama" and all the "specials" teachers in the world for not only being brave enough to follow your passion and do what you love for a career, but for also choosing to teach and share this passion and your awesome skills with children and the communities where you live! I hope your contributions to the school are never "budgeted out" because we need you and our children's education would suffer gravely without you!

March 22, 2011- Organizing and Weeding Obsession...

      The past couple of weeks at work, I have taken on some cleaning out and organizing projects, starting when I helped clean the outside janitor's closet, which had unfortunately become infested with American cockroaches, and then moved on to parts of the administration building (which is actual a three bedroom house converted into our offices and kitchen facilities) in which I work and where the meals for the kids are cooked and prepared. I started this much larger project because we attracted a couple of rats friends recently. The rats have been caught and the roaches appear to have scattered to unknown parts, but I am still cleaning and organizing.  I get a little compulsive about completing projects I have started, and I really felt like there was not point to working on one section or part of the building and not the rest, so I've taken in upon myself to sort through all the materials in the three offices (including mine) housed here and determine whether or not we need to keep them and then reorganize what we do need, so that everyone knows what is where and will hopefully use it more frequently in the future.  It's been quite a job, so far, taking up most of my day both Saturday and today, but it looks so much better, and I know more now concerning exactly what we have and don't have. This helps when I am tasked with ordering new materials for our teacher and parent library, and it helps me with my training duties, so I am aware of what resources I have to utilize and share with our staff for professional development as well as for the parents who ask me for information about their child's development or other parenting questions.  This is the kind of obsession that's useful and important for all of us to do at one point or another in our homes and offices.  Things pile up and cleaning out and organizing ourselves and the space around us makes it more pleasant to come to work or home after work, and it brings order out of what might otherwise feel like chaos.
     On that note, I do not feel so great about my yard.  It causes me concern because it is an incomplete project I have left unfinished for way too long, so in addition to obsessing over my office space, I am now obsessing over my yard, spending another 2 hours this evening it in, like last night, pulling weeds, moving gravel and rocks, and generally attempting to make it look like I care about it. :-)  Why the obsessions lately? Well, maybe it's because it keeps my mind off of not being able to spend this time with my Mr. Gant during his eye surgery and early recovery days.  Maybe it's because I have spent way too much time in the first 6 months of my new job trying to find information I should have at my fingertips, but finally find buried somewhere between mounds of other stuff I don't even know if I need.  Mostly, I think it brings order to the chaos and peace to my life in the most tangible and visible of ways.  And personally, I am thankful for the distraction and change of pace as my mind is filled with all sorts of thoughts lately about my son's eyesight, the future of this island and my job, weddings, potential summer plans,  and so much more, so if weeding is what takes my mind off of my concerns and keeps me sane for now, then I'll add weeding to my list of therapeutic cleaning tasks and enjoy it as much as washing dishes :) You find it hard to believe that I like washing dishes and pulling weeds, right? Well, I really do...and I can't be the only one...c'mon share those odd therapeutic chores or activities that really help you keep the stress levels down.  

March 21, 2011- Yard and Cook Wars!!

     Today, I was mostly lazy, so by the early evening, I felt I needed to do something productive, and then I could say that the day was not be a total loss in terms of getting anything done around the house.  This started with stripping the beds and putting the sheets in the washer, then flipping the mattress that's been making my back ache for a few weeks now, and finally, heading outside in the last rays of sunshine for the day to war with the weeds in my yard.  Unfortunately, I have been neglecting the yard lately, so the beds around the trees were beginning to get really green with weeds, not to mention the yard, which is pretty much all ground spreading weeds, but at this point, that's all I have, so I will stick to pulling the weeds from the empty "flower " beds first.  Real grass is a chore to grow here, so I'm going to take it one step at a time, enjoying the green the island style weeds bring to the yard, but getting rid of them where they stick out and don't to be a part of the natural landscape.
     If you remember back to my first post about yard work, I was not a big fan of it, but now I'm starting to enjoy it in the same way I enjoy cleaning and organizing my house and workplace.  I pulled weeks, hauled gravel from one spot where I don't want it to another where it might be more useful, and found some pine straw to reuse down the road from my house. In order to get it home, I had to put it in my big, blue recycling bin, and bike it back on my trailer to my house to improve the now weedless dirt patches of the palm tree beds.  It was a productive couple of hours, so much so, that I plan to try and get out there every evening after work this week to finish what I started.  Sometimes hard, physical work just feels good, as long as you are performing it safely and within your bodily limits.
     Now, I had also promised my son I would play a game with him on the Wii game console before it was time to go to bed, so I took a shower and prepared to battle with my baby as a chef named "Lil Sammy" on the game "Cook Wars."  It was a lot of fun, but anyone who watches me can tell that I was definitely not a "gamer" as a youngster as I am still a bit spastic with a game controller in my hand.  I lost the cooking challenging more times than not because I couldn't get the controller to move the way I wanted it to in time to catch the "pancakes" we were making or to turn the dial on the oven to exactly 200 degrees, so I wouldn't burn the "pizza."  My son never gets tired of beating me either and would have played much longer if I hadn't cut it short for bedtime.  After all, it is a new week tomorrow. Work, school, and our upcoming trip in only a little more than a week now awaits us, so it's time to stop warring with the yard and the pots and pans and get to beddy bye!

March 20, 2011- Fire it Up!!

     This year, my boys decided to be a part of the "K Crew," which is one of the local dance teacher's hip hop classes.  You may remember me writing about their first performance in the Tree Lighting Ceremony back in early December. Today, they had their second and final performance for the school year at the annual Kwajalein Dance Recital as part of the larger tap, ballet, lyrical, and other hip hop classes offered on island for all ages, ranging from the 3-5 year old group all the way up to the adult group. The two back to back shows were approximately an hour long each complete with 16 dance routines from the various classes offered on island, one of which came from the almost all boy K Crew. They danced to a song called, "Fire it Up," which happened to be the very words they shouted with gusto to the audience repeatedly throughout the routine.        
     As a parent, I found myself shouting along with them, proud of my son for getting up there in front of all those faces in the audience. He used to be so shy, tears would come to his eyes if he had to stand up and talk or dance or do a presentation for class in front of everyone, but he has come into his own the last year or so.  I understand how he feels because I used to be the same way, so shy that I wouldn't even say hello to the bagger at the small grocery store down the street from my house, a friendly man who had known me and my family since before I was even born and was always nothing but kind to me.  Interestingly enough, my mom said I wouldn't stop talking once I got in the car with my family, especially on long road trips, but out in public, forget it.  Unfortunately, my baby was not able to make the big show tonight because of his eye surgery in the states, but he's always been a bit more of the "class clown" and doesn't have as much trouble "showing off" in front of others, so it wasn't as big of a step out of his comfort zone as it was for his older brother.  That said, even though it's been hard to be away from Mr. Gant during these first days of his recovery, I'm so glad I was able to be here for my Sweet Pea to see him "Fire It Up!"

March 19, 2011-Bowling with the Boys!

     Breathing a little easier knowing that "Mr. Gant" made it through his eye surgery without a hitch, it was time to relax with the boys at the bowling alley. Saturday was "Boy's Night Out" with the school age services program, although the bowling alley was open to adults wanting to play too, so my fiance and I decided to join the boys on our own lane.  It was fun to work out my bowling muscles again. The bowling alley is fairly small here, only 8 lanes, and between the three reserved by the kids, and the four others already occupied by adult groups, there was only one lane left, the buffer between the little boys and the big boys where I was told by one of the kids that it was "boy's night out, not girls." :)  I replied that the alley was also open to adults, so it was okay for me to be here. Ranging from 6-12 years old, the boys rocked the lanes without stopping for the entire three hours of the scheduled event, bragging about how many "points" or strikes they had, even though they weren't writing anything down and really had no idea how to keep score. Having fun was the point of the night, and that, they did!
     Going bowling was a favorite, or actually still is, activity for my dad and me when I was growing up, especially after my parent's divorce.  We didn't always see eye to eye in the younger years of our relationship, and we often argued concerning our differing views of the world and life in general, as I figure most teenagers do with their parents at some point or another, but bowling together eased the tensions we had and always gave us something to look forward to during our limited time together. It was the one thing we definitely agreed upon! :)  My dad taught me most of what I know about how to bowl, and when I set my mind to it, and get back in the habit, I can throw a pretty decent game.  Unfortunately, dad wasn't there to help me on Saturday, and my game suffered. It's been a while, so I struggled to get back up to speed, and by game number two, it was coming back, but by then, it was time to go.  I hope to have a chance to play with dad when I make it home in a couple of weeks.  We didn't get to play during our visit this past summer, and with Mr. Gant's eye, we may not be able to this time, unless we are able to sneak off on our own because I don't know if bowling will be an "approved activity" for our patient.   Either way, I look forward to some precious time with my parents.  I hope my children will be able to look back at their times with us and have many fond, fond memories like I do.  It's not been until I began detailing some of these times in this blog, that I realized how many I have.  We tend to remember the tough times over the good ones, but there are always a few flowers that can be found in between the weeds of our experiences.  You simply have to take the time to remember and appreciate them, and when you do, life becomes that much sweeter and more appealing in the process! Care to share a sweet memory from your childhood?  Leave a comment to today's blog entry if you do...

March 18, 2011-Phone Prayers and Bubble Gum Bliss...

     Friday was a fretful day for me, waiting to hear from my baby doll before he was set to go into the hospital for his surgery.  I was not able to get in touch with him earlier in the day, so when the phone rang with a double ring (meaning it's a call from off island) around 10 pm island time (5 am Alabama time), I felt anxious and relieved at the same time. It was good to talk to my darling, although he was very, very sleepy and definitely not his usual chatty self, so I asked him if he had used up the hundred pocketful of kisses I gave him for safe keeping before he left, and he said, "Yes," so, of course, I gave him 100 more over the phone to get him through the surgery. I wasn't sure what else to do since I couldn't simply sit next to him on the ride to the hospital and hug and hold him, so I did what generally comes to mind when I don't have words anymore, we gave it all over to God in prayer. This is something I learned from my mom, to turn to God in prayer, whenever and wherever needed and definitely when you feel there's nothing else you can do in your human strength to get through something.  I've lived very far away from home for over 14 years now, and during some of my toughest years here, when I'd call mom to ask for answers to questions and challenges that didn't have an immediate answer or solution, she always suggested we pray.  Funny thing is, when the prayers were done, peace reigned...the tired eyes from crying too long and the feeling of panic in my chest melted away in the quiet of my mom's prayers from over 6,000 miles away. That's the power of God, and I know he was watching over my baby today. 
     Several hours after the phone prayers, when I awoke to begin getting myself and my oldest son ready for work and school, we called again, since it was early afternoon in Alabama, and my youngest was most certainly out of surgery and at home resting by then. At that time, we learned that everything went well, and all my anxieties of the week were suddenly lifted.  There's no guarantee he will be able to see out of that eye yet because if he has really had the cataract since birth (and there is no way to be sure of that either), his receptors may never have developed properly to allow sight in and may not be able to do so now, but at least we know we've done what we can, and either way, he'll adjust.  The next couple of weeks and months will be interesting to see unfold as Mr. Gant will have to start trying to strengthen his left eye by patching the right one 8-9 hours a day, that is, if they determine in the next couple of weeks that his receptors are in fact able to provide some sight in his eye without the offending "cloud" over his lens now.  He will not be able to be active for a couple of weeks or play any type of sports for at least 6 months, but if this means he will eventually be able to see out of both eyes, I'm sure it will be well worth the effort put in now, and my Mr. Gant is the most determined child I have ever met, so if anyone can do it, he can and will, even if it's just to prove everyone else wrong.  He loves to be right and will tell you something is black when it is actually white!! :)  So, I figure we only have to get him to believe he can see out of that eye, even if he cannot, and he will go along with it and make it happen.
     At any rate, when I spoke with him this morning (Saturday, here on the island), he was in very good spirits, and he told me that he didn't even know they had done the surgery, and it didn't hurt at all.  He was most excited about them wheeling his whole bed from the hospital room to the operating room, and then asking him what flavor he liked of the choices they gave, to which he replied, "Bubble Gum," and he took a few breaths (which he demonstrated for me on the telephone), and he doesn't remember the rest! Wow, I wish the anesthesia they put me under with when I had an emergency C-section with him smelled like bubble gum! I guess they save the bubble gum bliss for little ones...Thanks to all of you who sent up prayers for my baby, and I'll keep you posted on his progression as he begins looking through his eyes into a whole new world.

March 17, 2011- Thursday's Troubling Thoughts...

     Ever since my baby boy left for his surgery in Alabama, I have been having troubling dreams and thoughts mostly regarding the fact that I am not and cannot be with him during this first part of his ordeal.  I have had the opportunity to talk to him only twice since he's been away, and he sounded very tired the last time. He had just been through the same round of doctor's appointment that he had in Hawaii, so the surgeon in Alabama could decide how much he agreed with the doctors in the islands.  He did agree that it's a cataract, but he differed in how successful he thought surgery might be for my son.  My Mr. Gant may have to be patched eight to nine hours a day on his good eye in order to begin strengthening his bad eye, which he may or may not actually be able to see out of after the surgery to replace his cloud filled lens with a new, clear one.  Because he has probably had this cataract since he was born, and it has simply grown over the last year or so to cover the complete center of his eye, the receptors have probably never been used to their full capacity, so it will require a lot of work to bring them back to their intended abilities, if they can be brought back at all.  It may be a long road for my little first grader, and I am sad that I am was not there yesterday, today, or tomorrow, but I must put it all in perspective.
     Two children I know personally have spent the last few months without their mother, who is undergoing cancer treatment in the states, and many Japanese do not even know where their children or parents are right now.  I also personally know children at our center who rarely see their mothers because they are deployed away from them. My son is surrounded by his dad's family right now, and my parents are only about two hours away and will be visiting him on Saturday after the surgery on Friday, so he is not alone. He has mother figures to comfort him, and I will be there soon.  And I must not forget my first born who needs a mother just a much as the one going through surgery. Sweet Pea needs for his life to stay stable, structured, and peaceful in the midst of the changes he's experiencing being away from dad and brother and being nervous for Mr. Gant as well.  So, Thursday's troubling thoughts will merge into Friday's freedom from worry as I look forward to calling my baby again and hearing his sweet voice before he takes the next step of a journey only he can fully take anyway. I certainly can't get my eye fixed for him, so I'll say a prayer and ask you to say one too that where he once was blind, he'll be able to see again, and I'll let you know his future as we progress.  

March 16, 2011- Tennis Anyone?

     My son has been taking tennis lessons through the sports programming here on the island, and he really enjoys it.  In fact, he said to me the other day at the end of his lesson, "I can't wait to play with Grandpa." Tennis blood kind of "runs" in my family, so to speak.  It's the only sport I ever really remember my dad playing or really getting into watching on TV, and my mom used to play all the time when I was a little girl into my pre-teen years.  For several summers in a row, my family spent 2 weeks on vacation in Bradenton Beach on Anna Maria Island, Florida at a doctor friend's condo right on the beach.  There was a tennis court in the complex, and my mom taught me to play tennis there. The last year we stayed there, she was teaching me backhand, and we never really finished, so I blame her for my struggles with my tennis backhand still today. :)  Seriously, that's just an excuse. I loved those days of learning to play tennis from my mom at the beach and my dad, who used to set up the ball machine when I was a teenager on weekends at his house, so I could practice.  I never played on a team, but I did take tennis classes again in college, and I do still really enjoy playing when I have a chance, which is not even as close to as often as I'd like. 
     It's fun watching my son get into it and practice with his coach. They were working on backhand last week, which reminded me of the days with my mom teaching me, so I told him all about how I learned to play and how I still have to use two hands for a strong backhand swing since I don't play that often.  I look forward to seeing my parents in a couple of weeks and playing some tennis with my son and "grandpa."  It's one of the few sports that my son doesn't seem to feel any pressure when playing, pressure to catch the football and make a touchdown or score the goal in soccer. There's no pressure from the coaches, who can sometimes take a "tougher" stance when working with kids in a team sport.  Tennis is about honing your individual skills to compete against other individual or pairs. It also seems to have held its own as one of the more refined sports. There does not appear to be the rowdy fans in the audience, the drama over how much players are getting paid, or even the gambling and fanaticism that some sports have which turns me off to wanting to have anything to do with them. 
     No sport is perfect, but tennis is one, for me, that I am more attracted to than football, basketball, or the likes of which I see dominated by cocky players, media nightmares, and the amount of money, money, money, money that can be made for playing. I am one of those idealists who believes you should play sports professionally or teach and write professionally, or become a doctor professionally, etc...because it's what you love to do. It's your passion. It's not about money or fame or power, it's about doing what you were born to do.  If at some point, you lose that passion or get too caught up in the other aspects that sometimes accompany that career or sport, then maybe it's time to reevaluate what your motives are.  We all lose sight sometimes, but it's important that we always take time to look within ourselves to ensure we stay on the right and best track in life. 
     I never want to force my children to do anything in terms of sports, career, etc...that they don't absolutely love doing.  If it becomes something they are miserable doing or if they are more focused on winning or being popular because of that sport, I hope I'll have the strength to speak with them honestly about that and help them to refocus.  More than anything, I hope the example I set for them will teach them to never stop looking within to determine what is right and to stay on track toward their purpose and their potential in life.  If I can set that one example for them along with showing them how important it is to love and have faith in God, others, and themselves, then I believe they will go far in life and most importantly find peace and contentment no matter what they do or who they become in life.

March 15, 2011- Life with Sweet Pea...

     Well, it's been over 4 days and nights with just my Sweet Pea, which was my nickname for my oldest son when he was a baby and that same amount of time without my Mr. Gant, the baby nickname for my youngest. It sure is different with one child to care for day in and day out. I can no longer truly know life with only one, but being with Sweet Pea for a longer period of time without his little brother gives me a pretty good idea of what it would be like with him as an only child. Since he is over 9 years old, his world is starting to broaden to include spending more and more time outside the house and with friends. His weekend is filled with video gaming and going around from friend's house to friend's house until I ask him to come home and see me. It's not that me minds spending time with us, he's just at that stage where he's testing out his independence and enjoying time with his peers on his own. I miss him...and it makes me miss his brother even more because he isn't to that part of life yet. He still mostly hangs out at home, helping us cook in the kitchen and chatting away about anything and everything under the sun. Now is the season to enjoy that time with Mr. Gant before he hits 9 and "leaves home" as well. :)
     When Sweet Pea is around, we play Wii, board, and card games together, watch movies, and even go outside to throw the football or boomerang now and again, but he's growing up, and these times will become less and less as he moves into the world and creates a place for himself. I hardly ever ready to him anymore because he'd rather read on his own. He loves to read, and he's a quick study too, comprehending things from the text that only comes from experiences and dedication to reading over a longer period of time. I'm proud of him, but also see him changing form my little boy to that occasionally smart-mouthed pre-teen, and eventually, a grown man who will be taller and probably more intelligent and successful than his mom someday. He's full of potential like every child, and I can only hope and pray that I am able to properly nurture and encourage that potential in the best ways.
     Tonight, he fell asleep in my bed beside me while I was chatting on the phone with my fiance, and that's okay. There won't be many more nights of this time together. As I turn to check on him, I consider how precious he is to me, and I remember going into his room when he was a newborn just to watch him breathe. I was so enamored and amazed by him, and I always will be. He's my Sweet Pea, and even though he has begun to outgrow me in certain ways, I am simply glad he still wants to sit down next to me in bed and read his books at night and that he is happy to hug me and tell me he loves me, even in front of his friends. It's much easier to let him go and grow that way...

March 14, 2011- Monday Errands...

     Today was one of those errand and maintenance running days.  I spent a lot of it trying to figure out why my slowly dying laptop computer will no longer allow me to hook up to the marvelous "dial-up" internet we are so lucky to still be using on the atoll. It claims that my internal modem is already connected (not true) or that it is not configured properly, but all diagnostic checks say it is connected and configured properly. I knew it was about time for a new computer, and I was simply waiting to head back to the states in a couple of weeks to purchase one, so I guess the decision has definitely been made for me now. When I was at the height of my confusion and frustration at trying to figure out the computer, I moved on to a new task and headed "downtown" for a few errands with my son.
     We checked mail, and I picked up a few cooking utensils, a beach chair, and a power strip to hook up the new printer my finance ordered for us.  Meanwhile, my son decided how he wanted to spend some of his money, which ended up being a new Wii game. I enjoy teaching him the value of money. When it comes time to buy something, he doesn't hesitate to ask me for it, but if he is told he needs to spend his own money, all of a sudden, everything becomes a much bigger deal, and he deliberates for quite a long time before being able to decide on just one thing. It's a useful lesson, and because of that, I don't mind the bit of whining and complaining because I know he is learning from it.  It has also spurred him to get on board with the new chore chart I set up for him. I will provide him with an allowance each week with the amount of money given out to be determined by the number of chores he does each day. So far, he's taking me up on the offer.  We'll see how long it lasts.
     When we go to the store and spend money together, I always further the lesson by letting my son know how much of my hard earned cash went to the local stores for just basic household necessisities while we are shopping to give him an idea of how much "life" costs. Unfortunately, I am still surprised sometimes at how much I seem to still be "missing" in my new house.  Of course, initially, I had to spend quite a bit of money to get it set up, but almost every weekend, I find something else I didn't have and need to get.  I guess I don't really "need" these things, but they are the everyday luxeries that make life easier, like the dishwashwer I was lucky enough to be gifted by a dear friend.  There's need, and then there's want.  Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two when you get used to having something "extra," and then it's hard to let it go, like my computer and internet connection. 
     I am slightly embarrassed that I am so dependent on it for checking e-mail, paying bills, keeping up with posting for this blog. I usually write out each day's entry on a Word file, and then simply cut and paste to the blog site, but I realized I can't even do that anymore because of the defunct internet connection.  I can write it up, but I can't email it to myself at work, which is where I have my only other way to connect, and I can't save it to a thumb drive because we are not alllowed to use those on work computers.  I even tried to save it to a recordable CD, but my poor, old computer has given up on me.  It doesn't want to do that for me either. I am thankful for the years I had with it.  I used it "back in the day" to teach college classes online when traveling with my babies back and forth from the states to the islands on "stress breaks" and vacations, and I took it with me when I moved out of my house and into a BQ for 3 years, and now it's traveled with me into my new home with the boys, and I can't even remember how many years I've had it. It's provided that connection to the outside world, so I can't really complain. So, Monday errands turned into Monday lessons about want and need and the cost of life, so I'd say that's a pretty successful day as is any day in which you learn something that you can apply to your life to make it better or easier in the future. 

March 13, 2011-A Day of Rest...

    This Sunday was a day of rest for me.  Sunday school was cancelled because some unfortunate travelers going to Majuro on the plane that left the night of the Tsunami warning were stranded here for the weekend and were staying in the religious education building where classes are held on Sunday mornings.  The plane usually stops in the capital of the Marshall Islands on the way to Hawaii, but due to the bad weather and delayed take off time, the airline decided to go straight to Hawaii and not stop in Majuro, which means the passengers have to wait until the next plane headed that way comes through, which is not until this Monday night.  So, after sleeping in a bit and not having to prepare my lesson for the morning and take off to church before I've had a chance to consume a proper breakfast (which is usually how the morning goes for me), we had a late breakfast, then spent the rest of the day attending my son's dress rehearsal for the dance recital next weekend (he's in a  hip hop class this year), planning a menu for the remainder of the weekend, and going to the grocery store to pick up the last odds and ends for a barbecue chicken recipe for dinner.  It was a lazy day, but thankfully a good one.
     Of course, the other main event has been watching the news from Japan. It seems so far away from us, but my heart goes out to them.  It's so hard to understand what it must be like for the country right now, and it is anything but a day of rest for those who are searching for missing relatives and trying to rebuild their lives right now.  Besides for contributing monetarily to the organizations helping the people of Japan, all I know to do is pray for them.  It's hard for me to not be able to actively contribute and help because as a mother and teacher trainer, I'm used to jumping up and helping direct a class, handle a conflict, or help my children fix something that has broken or prepare a bag of ice for a bumped head, but this is so much more than my everyday small, small traumas, and my children are here; my purpose right now is here, and my livelihood is here.  So, I come back to the conclusion that praying for them and believing in the ability God has given us to rise above life's tragedies, to pull strength from places inside us that we never knew we had will get the Japanese people through, will help them rebuild and move forward.  For that reason, I will enjoy these days of peace and rest for me and my family as life's challenges can hit with hardly a moment's notice, so I'll spend my time building up that inner strength to assist myself, my family, and others around me, preparing for when life throws the next punch that will surely come, but hopefully not too soon...

March 12, 2011- Sleepy Saturday...

     The day after the "salami" warning, as our precious preschoolers at the child development center called it, could have been dubbed "sleepy Saturday" as all the kids were showing the effects of staying up until 1 am or later due to the evacuation the night before. In fact, my son's first grade class actually asked to take a nap, so after lunch, the teacher brought in blankets and a movie, and they rested for the remainder of the afternoon.  I was dead to the world within a few minutes of hitting the sack myself, although a lengthy game of "Risk" kept me up later than I ever would have expected to be able to manage in my exhausted state. We bought the game at the end of last weekend because my oldest had been talking about this "cool" game that he learned about at a friend's house. My fiance and I were just so excited and glad that he wanted to do something other than play a video game, that we decided to purchase this classic, but recently updated and revived board game.  I never imagined I would enjoy it as much as I did.  It's basically a game of strategy for two to six players. According to what has become my go to general research site, wikipedia, "The standard version is played on a board depicting a political map of the Earth, divided into forty-two territories, which are grouped into six continents. The primary object of the game is 'world domination' or to occupy every territory on the board and in so doing, eliminate all other players. Players control armies with which they attempt to capture territories from other players with results determined by dice rolls." There were several exciting moments where each one of us was in the lead, but my sweetheart ended up meeting 3 major objectives, taking over a good portion of the world, and eliminating both my son and I from the game. 
     This family game night once again brings me back to the familiar conclusion that the same games, activities, and events of life that brought families together years ago still bring them together today.  I love how we can see tremendous increasing in the abilities of our technology, in our abilities to prolong and save lives, and in our abilities to travel and learn more about the world due to how small and connected we are all becoming through media, but in the end, I love most the fact that families are still the same, that the kind of fun we have together hasn't changed, that faith is still grounded in stories and miracles from one of the oldest inhabited parts of the world, that love and the pursuit of peace and happiness itself is no different, that as humans we still want the same things and basically find them in the same places they've always been. None of the technology, medical advances, travel and increased volumes of information or media influences changes the basic needs of the human heart and mind and how we go about meeting those needs. Game night with my family, a home cooked meal with old friends, and attending a hockey game with my fiance will always be rich sources of joy for me and provide bonding experiences I'll always treasure.  So, as sleepy Saturday came to a close, it was met with joy in the midst of exhaustion, joy for the simple, constant things in life that mean so much! 

March 11, 2011- Departure Day and Tsunami Tensions...

     March 11 was such an eventful day that it's taken me more than 48 hours to get around to writing about it.  Friday was the day my baby was set to fly off into the sunset to Hawaii on the first leg of his journey back to Alabama for cataract surgery. First, the plane, which is already a "red eye" flight was delayed 2 hours, supposedly leaving at 9:30, then a Tsunami hit Japan (as I'm sure you all know), and our flat, tiny island in the middle of the Pacific went into panic mode. In fourteen years living on the atoll, we have never had to "vertically evacuate" due to a tsunami or even a tropical cyclone or storm threat. Usually, these types of natural disasters begin their formation here, but do not strike land, except for maybe some heavy rains and high winds.  Otherwise, these very low lying coral atolls would never have survived in the ocean as long as they have.
     According to wikipedia.com, a Tsunami comes from the Japanese word for "harbor wave," and "is a series of waves caused by the displacement of a large volume of a body of water." They are often referred to as "tidal waves," but they have nothing to do with tides. Both produce waves of water that move inland, but tsunami waves are much greater and last a longer period of time. There are a few natural barriers that keep Tsunamis from destroying coastal regions, one of which we are surrounded by in the Marshall Islands, CORAL REEFS. These reefs act as natural breakwaters providing a physical barrier that reduces the force of the waves before they reach the shore. Our neighboring islands, the Federated States of Micronesia, tend to be surrounded on the coast by mangrove forests, which provide the other natural barrier to the tsunamis potentially devastating waves. The mangrove trees are like natural shock absorbers against the water's impact. Once again, nature proves stronger than anything else in this world protecting us when cared for and used properly. Unfortunately for Japan, natural barriers are rare as they are the hardest hit by Tsunamis, over 195 there so far according to the wikipedia website. Even though we are fairly protected due to our natural barriers, it's better to be safe than sorry because nature is never totally predictable, so our sirens began sounding around 10 pm to let us know we needed to go to our designated shelters, which for my oldest son and I was on the second floor of our home, thank goodness. I took a gallon of fresh water upstairs along with a can opener and some food and settled down to watch the news and local roller channel for more information.  Thankfully, my son had gone to sleep about 30 minutes before the sirens began, and amazingly, he slept through the whole thing!
     The funny thing is I was more concerned about my youngest son on the airplane with his father than I was about all of us on the island. Tsunamis and earthquakes have been known to devastate places like Hawaii in the past, although not as often as in Japan, and that's just where the plane was heading. My fears only grew when I was on the phone with my best friend (who had to wake up both her children and head to a nearby friend's house with a second story to shelter in) when we heard the plane take off yet another hour later than planned (10:30 pm).  Why would they want to leave and fly into an island evacuating and preparing for the big waves?  What if they can't land? It's not as if there are a lot of other places nearby they could proceed to for an emergency landing when their fuel ran low. Of course, it turned out to be just fine as the waves caused minimal damage to the coast of Hawaii by the time it reached them around 3:30 in the morning, but my stomach was definitely knotted up from the tension of the tsunami warnings until I was able to hear from my son the following day around lunch time. As for the end of my Friday night, after a final late night phone call from home to check up on us, I fell fully asleep around 1 pm, thankful that the danger for us had passed and whispering prayers for those in Japan who were not so lucky.
    
    

March 10, 2011- Amazing Observations!

     Today is the first day in quite a while that I have had the chance to write up observations on the teachers I am tasked with training. It is an essential part of my job, but often goes by the wayside when I am pulled to more pressing matters, am swamped in paperwork, or just filling in as a teacher myself when we are short staffed. Fortunately, this regular observation task was a highlight of my day today. We are truly lucky to have the kind of dedicated, caring, and hardworking staff that we have at our child development center, after school services, youth center, and sports programs.
     Of course, part of my job is to find suggestions to help the teachers grow and learn how to be even better in the classroom and with the children, but they made that task very hard today. I was not able to find much to ask them to improve upon besides to continue doing the awesome job they are doing! I am amazed at their patience, calming presence, guiding words, and especially their ability to multitask with the children and youth in their care. Several of our key management, administrative, and teaching staff have been in training and out sick or on vacation leave all week, which has left me to "man the ship," so to speak, but the teachers have made it a piece of cake by stepping up and simply taking care of what needs to be done with minimal assistance from me. They are a huge part of what makes my job so fun and exciting every day, and today, I felt challenged to become ever better at my job by watching their success in the classrooms!

March 9, 2011- Wednesday Walking

     Tonight, I had the rare opportunity to go walking with a close friend. Last year, when I worked more closely with her at the school, we walked frequently along with another friend of ours who is now in the states undergoing cancer treatments. It's not the same without all three of us, but it is still important to take the time to catch up on each other's lives now and again. The exercise part is just a sidebar as it's really about having some decompression time together. It's a chance to share in the recent successes in our lives and our family's lives, to vent our frustrations over work or personal situation, and a time to encourage and uplift each other, to bend a listening ear, and offer thoughts and helpful suggestions when asked. 
     As life stays so busy with kids, career, and a home to take care of, the blog has become what my regular walks with friends used to be...that sounding board, that way to communicate all the stuff swirling around in my head at the end of the day, to share it with you, my family and friends. We all need that, I believe. We all need a way to decompress, to let out all the emotions, to communicate about our lives and thoughts to others who actually care to listen, empathize, and even offer sound advice when necessary. Thank you, blog readers, for allowing me to do that with you.

March 8, 2011- A pocketful of kisses...

    Wow! What happened to the day...it blew by in a whirlwind.  Every time I sat down at my computer to try and accomplish something, I found myself being pulled away by someone or something more urgent, but it is good to be working. I enjoy the busy days. I feel I am accomplishing something, that I am needed.  Everyone likes to be needed now and again.  It’s good to contribute to the larger world, to the lives of those parents whose children we care for every day.  Being entrusted with the precious lives of little ones is a special privilege. 
     Tonight, as I tucked my seven year old into bed, he mentioned, totally out of the blue, that I hadn’t given him any kisses to put in his pocket lately, and this took me back a couple of years. During his preschool days, in the very same child development center where I now work, I used to drop him off at “school” in the morning or take him back to “school” after lunch together and read him a story on his nap mat, and when it was time for me to go back to work, I’d always end by giving him kisses to put in his pocket in case he missed me. The idea is that he could take them out whenever he needed to feel mommy near.  This became an especially precious thing for me when I moved out of the house and into my bachelor’s quarters and could not tuck him in at night or spend every evening with him due to my lack of a house he could reside in with me. 
     I hadn’t thought about this preschool tradition we’d had in a very long time, and I was surprised he remembered it.  He will be leaving in a few days with his dad to head to Alabama for eye surgery to remove his cataract, and he brought it up because he wanted us to start the tradition back since we would be away from each other.  So, it just goes to show that the little things we do as teachers, parents, coaches, and volunteers in the lives of children are remembered fondly and are treasured by those we share our interests and our love with.  You never know when you are touching the life of another, whether it be an adult acquaintance, co-worker, family member, friend, or child, so don’t hesitate to show love, give a compliment and a smile, or simply help someone out when they need it because it will be given back to you two fold in the future. It may be just another day to you, but to someone else, your kind word or helpful gesture may be like a pocketful of kisses from mom. 

March 7, 2011- Reading Adventures...

     It’s been a couple of weeks, but I finally had the chance today to pick up a very fascinating book that I’ve been trying to finish since we arrived back from Vancouver. It’s titled Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand, and it’s the heart wrenching and beautiful story of Louie Zamperini, a Veteran of World War II and a survivor of not only the crash of the B-24 plane he was working aboard that sent him on a 47 day journey across the Pacific on a life raft dodging shark attacks and practically starving to death, but he also miraculously survived several years in more than one horrific Japanese POW camp. His story is truly amazing. As I was reading it, I remember hearing his name previously. He was actually held by the Japanese here on Kwajalein before they moved him to the POW camps in Japan. And if I’m not mistaken, he actually visited the atoll since I’ve lived here sometime in the last 14 years. I wish I had known or even had the faintest understanding of how special it would have been to meet this man in person. 
     I can’t imagine going through what so many American soldiers have gone through fighting for their country, then and now. At times, I had to just set the book down because the inhuman treatment of the men in the POW camps by the Japanese was too much for me to bear. I don’t know how they did it, how they survived any of it. I believe there are definitely people who are born with the ability to handle certain things that others never could. It’s obvious in my profession as well; some people are just naturally good with children and others just aren’t. It’s not in them.

     If we have the opportunity, we must choose carefully what we do with our lives, to ensure we fulfill our potential. Sometimes we are thrown into the story and purpose of our lives like Louie Zamperini. I’m sure he would have never chosen to go through what he did, but his story inspires others; it’s a ministry to others. Sometimes we have the blessing to figure out that purpose by simply moving in the direction of doing what we love most, but either way, life is not as extraordinary without that purpose. We could be living out our purpose and not even know it, so that’s why it is important to seek God’s wisdom, to look deep within ourselves to discover what it is that we can do and become with the experiences and genetics we’ve been given. Our stories may not be as dramatic or as fantastic as a WWII veteran who has survived what most others never could, but it’s still important. It still means something to someone and especially to God. Living our lives with purpose is the only way to live in my opinion!

March 6, 2011- Cooking and Cleaning...

     Some days are all about taking care of business.  While my fiancé prepped and prepared dinner dishes for our guests tonight, I cleaned, dusting spots I hadn’t dusted in quite a while, I must admit.  I don’t mind everyday, routine cleaning, but dusting is my least favorite part, so it gets neglected in the grand scheme of home care.  The one great thing about cleaning is that at the end of the day, you can really see your results, and it always feels worth the effort, unlike so many daily tasks that we cross off our lists to which there are no tangible results.
     Even at work, when I clean my office or reorganize and clean out materials that have long piled up with no place to go, I feel I have accomplished more than a whole week’s worth of editing electronic documents or even helping the same children get to sleep every day at nap time or pushing them on the swings during outside time. It’s not that these are unimportant tasks in my job; it’s just that you don’t look around you and feel the immediate results like you do with a previous disorganized or dusty space now shiny, clean, and spacious!  I don’t get to see how much more well behaved the children are for their parents at home after a good nap at school because I helped them get to sleep. I don’t hear feedback from the community on how well written the documents that come out of my department are because I have helped edit them or have worked hard on writing, revising, rewriting, and finalizing my own newsletters and such, but I do feel the smooth, freshly swept and mopped floor under my feet, no longer stepping on bits of sand or debris tracked in from outside.  I do smell the fresh scents of a clean home as I walk through it.  I do see the organization on the desks and in the rooms of the home, and it makes me feel more calm and peaceful. 
     It’s funny how cleaning can affect me that way.  I guess that’s why I’ve never minded it so much because it brings order to my busy life.  It brings order even when there’s chaos in everything else going on around me or inside me.  I used to go right to the sink when I felt tears coming on from a difficult day, when I was battling with bouts of depression during the crumbling of my family life in the last years of my marriage.  Washing the dishes by hand with the warm soap suds running through my fingers soothed me, and when I was done, I had accomplished something I could see, something that kept life moving, something that proved I was alive and could hold it all together and keep going no matter what.  I was NOT just sitting in bed wasting away even if that was what I sometimes felt like doing. I was busy taking care of business, and what better way to stay out of the dumps than to get moving.  Thank goodness most of my cleaning now is simply because it needs to be done, not because I’m trying to keep myself my falling apart or to soothe hurting emotions, but it still has the same calming, and in a sense, uplifting effect on me.  I guess we all have something like that in our lives, that keeps us sane. It’s nice to be aware of what that sanity check is for me.  I think it might be cooking for my fiancé...what is it for you?   
 

March 5, 2011- “Tangled and Hoodwinked”

     Tonight, we took the boys to see the movie Tangled, which is a modern Disney version of the Rapunzel story.  Of course, I love the classic versions of all the well known fairy tales, but it’s such a nice change to see old stories given a new twist, a fresh image.  I’ve seen tons of brand new animated movies over the years, but it’s not often they go back, take a classic, and redo it with a modern flare because everyone wants to see the old stories just the way they remember them.  The last one I recall seeing that fit this category of the “old made new again” is Hoodwinked, a version of the Little, Red Riding Hood tale.  In college, I enjoyed a different version of Shakespeare’s classic, Romeo and Juliet, which appeared with the original language, but in a very modern California setting with the two families transformed into two gangs in the hood. Most people I have discussed this movie with did not like it, but I did.  Again, it was a fresh perspective on an old story, just like Hoodwinked and Tangled.  This causes me to wonder...why do we so often resist change and new ways of doing and seeing things in our small world? 
     I find this is one of the negatives of living on a very tiny, isolated island where nothing much changes in the environment around you.  It tends to translate to nothing much changing in any area of life here, and sometimes you just need a change. New people move onto the island and often instantly begin to want to change things to make them work more efficiently and effectively, but more time than not their ideas are pushed aside or they are told we can’t change that without any rational explanation why.  We simply get stuck in our ways sometimes.  Change is good; fresh ideas are revitalizing, and as the wooden plaque my mom sent me for my birthday says, “if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies.”  As I have said before, I believe it is so important to be open to change, to be willing to grow and learn, even when you think everything is fine the way it is.  Becoming complacent in the workplace and in life keeps us from knowing an existence full of possibilities and promise we never even imagined.   So, next time you have the

opportunity to be hoodwinked by a new idea or tangled in a new adventure, just go with it as you never know what spectacularly awesome changes it might bring your way!

March 4, 2011- Island Style Snowy Weather...

     Last night, I headed out the front door of a friend’s house to watch her precious 3 year old boy ride around in his “car,” but as soon as he jumped in and got ready to drive, I realized it was raining softly through the rays of the setting sun.  Of course, he couldn’t drive an electric open topped vehicle in the rain, so after parking it around back under the patio cover, we headed inside.  I stepped back outside to put the chairs away that I had moved to the front lawn for my friend and I to sit on, and I took a moment to simply watch the amazing sight of rain on the atoll. It comes in all different forms from pelting, diagonal, “soaks you completely in less than a minute,” fat drops to a soft, almost imperceptible sprinkle like the rain tonight.  I have always loved the colors of the atoll at dusk when a brilliant, almost neon green essence shimmers everywhere you look while the sun slowly sinks into the sea behind the native year round flora and fauna, but combined with the light rain of the evening, it was an absolutely stunning sight! As I thought about how I could describe it to you, I realized I didn’t have the words. Even a picture wouldn’t do because you can only see this type of rain in the distance. Close up, it

disappears before your eyes, and you only KNOW it’s raining if you actually step out in it or watch the light gray asphalt of the roads turn black with wetness, things which only the very best of cameras would pick up, if at all.  All that came to mind for me is that it’s like a tropical version of a light snow fall.  You know how stunning the world looks when you wake up to a fresh blanket of snow, before the tracks of feet, machines, and the dirt underneath have smudged it?  Well, that’s what it reminded me of, the untouched beauty of nature at work with the play of sunlight and warm, liquidy “snow” making the island around us even more green and shimmery as it feeds the roots of plants, trees, and the soil.  The sunset shining through the rain was definitely the best part.  That’s where you could really see the direction and lightness of the rain as the sun’s rays reflected off of the tiny droplets of water descending from the quickly moving clouds passing over us. We may not have “seasons” per say on the atoll, but the island still takes on a slightly different look and feel during the rainy, windy, dry, and doldrum periods of the year.  It may not be as obvious a change as the leaves turning in Autumn or snow falling in winter elsewhere in the world, but it is our version of “island seasons,” and if you stop long enough to notice, you’ll discover the unique characteristics of an island style fall, winter, spring, and summer and be glad you took the time to “smell the ocean,” so to speak.   

March 3, 2011- Nothing of Note...

     Every time I log into this blog, I see a section for “Blogs of Note.”  Because mine is a daily blog, there are bound to be times when there is “nothing of note” to write about or read. Unfortunately, I’ve found today is one of those days.  My mind is in a million other places, and blogging topics are just scarce right now. However, I did want to take a moment to thank my friends and family who faithfully read or catch up on my blogs just because and whether or not they are noteworthy. I love writing, although writing daily has been an unmet goal of mine since I started journaling at the tender age of 12.  Having this blog and knowing there are those who are reading it in order to keep up with what’s going on in my every day life, exciting or not, has helped me to meet this goal, at least for the last 7 months, and that’s quite an accomplishment! That said, thank you for your support and for holding me accountable to write consistently and daily for my readers and for myself.  Give yourselves a pat on the back today because you’ve helped someone else meet a long term goal, however minor it may be. Baby steps, right? :) 

March 2, 2011- Learning through play...

     Today, I delivered a required training on Implementing Effective Learning Experiences to the instructors and staff at our child development center (preschool and pre-K children), before and after school services (kindergarten through sixth graders), and youth center (7^th-12^th) training meeting.  As I researched the topic of how to implement effective learning experiences, I found a wealth of information on the subject, but narrowed it down to three that apply most appropriately to what we do in our programs.  You see, we are not a school in the academic sense of the word, but we are based on programs ripe with opportunities to learn through recreation, hands-on educational experiences, sports, clubs, and other events which are designed around what the kids’ enjoy and are interested in doing and learning. 
     The three proven effective educational teaching methods that apply most readily to what we do with the kids in our care are the concepts of learning through play, learning through experiences, and learning through conversation. At the child development center, we are often referred to by those outside of the hard working, dedicated staff as a “day care center” or a “babysitting service,” but we are so much more than that. The children may look like they are just playing, and they are playing, but they are also being guided by the teachers to learn, usually without even realizing it. The teachers are trained to play with them in a manner which promotes critical thinking, language, team work, leadership, math, science, and many other skills applicable to their real lives. And what better way to learn!

     How often do you remember growing up having to “go through the experience yourself” before you believed or understood what your parents or others told you to do or say? Those of us who are particularly stubborn, like myself, had to do this often to get it through our thick skulls. This is the concept of “learning through play” in a safe, educational setting. The children experience it for themselves first, then talk about what they’ve learned and find ways to share it with others or apply it to their lives outside of the programs. For example, we don’t just make Play Doh for the kids to play with; we let them make it for themselves (with minimal teacher guidance and help), so they learn where Play Doh comes from and how you can make something fun to play with out of everyday things you have at home. At the school age program, we don’t just talk about healthy foods in our nutrition program; we take the kids on a field trip to the grocery store, playing a game to check the labels and try to guess what we’ll make based on the ingredients we are purchasing, then we actually have the kids do the cooking and eating, discussing the what, why, and how as we go along. At the youth center, the teens don’t just talk about the important things going on in the world, they get out and do important things, such as organizing and implementing a reading night with the preschoolers, a photo scavenger hunt with the school age kids, and fundraising events for clothes and school supplies to donate to the schools and kids on Ebeye who do not always have what they need from day to day. They are learning how to lead, how to work together, how to make a positive contribution to the larger world we live in, and on a more personal level, they are learning what their interests are and getting experience and ideas to guide them in who and what they want to be when they grow up.

     It’s very exciting to work in this type of environment where we are expected to have fun with the kids and teach them through that fun. It’s not easy; it’s definitely a lot more difficult than just babysitting or day care, but it’s worth it because you know you are contributing positively to the growth of those kids in your care, and that’s what I wanted to stress most to my team of instructors and care givers today.  They have all had enough training in their jobs to know most of what we covered. They understand that the children in their care learn through playing, hands-on experiences, and educational conversations because they do these things with the kids every day, but they need to know how important what they do is to these young people’s lives.  I wish I had the training and experience we’ve all been through or are going through at the centers here before I gave birth to my boys because I’ve learned more about parenting and how to care for them through my jobs the past 4 years than I learned in all my time spent on a college education or from any books that I’ve read on child rearing, which proves that learning through play, hands-on experiences, and conversational learning are really the best ways to implement effective, long-lasting, educational experiences. 

March 1, 2011- Plunging Lessons...

     I’ve learned a lot in the last seven to nine years while bearing and raising two male children who love to talk about and participate in pooting and burping and generally being silly. One of the activities I have become particularly adept at is plunging the toilet to get rid of the frequent clogs from the interesting potty habits of my little darlings.   In the last three years, I’ve plunged so many toilets in so many different places that I lost count! During these “gypsy years,” it was common for me to check for a plunger first thing upon arriving at a hotel, a relative’s or friend’s house where we were visiting overnight or house sitting, or the rooms we stayed at on Roi for the weekends. While the boys checked out the “amenities” of these places, I made sure we had the necessities to handle two small boys with large bathroom deposits.  I know, I know, it’s disgusting, but once you have kids, talking about the gross parts of child birth, poop, projectile vomiting, and all sorts of other topics you wouldn’t dream about discussing in public with anyone, suddenly become acceptable and sometimes even a necessary part of conversations with fellow moms and dads you meet along the journey. Take tonight, for instance, as I stooped by my home’s one toilet with my left hand on the valve to turn the water off if needed and my right hand holding the plunger, I thought about what an “expert” (to use the term loosely) I had become at handling clogged toilets, and how this is a part of parenting I never would have guessed I needed to be prepared for or know how to do. It’s nice to sit and talk with someone occasionally who understands exactly what you are talking about and has become used to discussing these formally forbidden subjects with ease and a sense of humor. 

     The funny part is there are lessons to be learned from the act of plunging a toilet for your son, just as there are lessons to be learned from every experience in life, if we are simply open to being still long enough to discover them. What lessons, you say? Well, I’ve learned to always be prepared to turn the water off before it gets too high. This saves you the trouble of having to mop up the floor and wash all the bathroom rugs when you are not prepared for the water that will come rushing out if you don’t do something to slow its roll.  This has taught me to “be prepared” and to do what you can to prevent minor issues from becoming major ones by stopping the flow and putting everything back in perspective. Keeping my emotions in check when my children are frustrating me and stopping the flow of words that I sometimes want to vent upon others prevents me from making a challenging situation even more difficult and painful for everyone and gives me a moment to breathe and remember what’s important and what’s not...just as turning off the water before it overflows stops me from panicking and helps me remember that it’s just a clogged toilet, not the total destruction of my bathroom.     

     In addition to the first two “P’s,” preparation and prevention, I have also mastered the plunging part, which means getting rid of the things that are in the way, that are clogging up the mechanisms, so the clean water can flow freely again, and the toilet can operate as it was designed to do.  This is something we too must do in our lives periodically, clean out the old and painful memories that pull us down, the bad habits and downer friends and influences that keep us from moving forward, from discovering how much better and cleaner our lives could be if we simple let go and let life flow through us freely and without reservation or hesitation.  We must clean out our bodies, minds, and souls frequently to stay on the right track because if we don’t, our systems will become so clogged that all the bitterness, nastiness, and general grossness will begin flowing out of us, emanating from our thoughts and out our foul mouths, keeping us mired down in negativity and wondering why we are so unhappy.

     I can’t say I truly enjoy plunging the toilet every time my boys decide to spend some quality time on the potty, but the lessons to be learned from this mundane and sometimes disgusting task, including the importance of proper preparation, regular use of prevention tactics, and occasional, necessary plunging or cleansing strategies are all insightful life lessons that this act brings to mind, and they are necessary to put and keep me on the right road to long term physical, mental, and spiritual health and happiness.  Why don’t you try your hand at a little plunging activity tonight?! It’s very cleansing, I promise...a little disgusting too, but you’ll get over that before you know it, and the end results are worth the yucky part, anyway.