Ever since my baby boy left for his surgery in Alabama, I have been having troubling dreams and thoughts mostly regarding the fact that I am not and cannot be with him during this first part of his ordeal. I have had the opportunity to talk to him only twice since he's been away, and he sounded very tired the last time. He had just been through the same round of doctor's appointment that he had in Hawaii, so the surgeon in Alabama could decide how much he agreed with the doctors in the islands. He did agree that it's a cataract, but he differed in how successful he thought surgery might be for my son. My Mr. Gant may have to be patched eight to nine hours a day on his good eye in order to begin strengthening his bad eye, which he may or may not actually be able to see out of after the surgery to replace his cloud filled lens with a new, clear one. Because he has probably had this cataract since he was born, and it has simply grown over the last year or so to cover the complete center of his eye, the receptors have probably never been used to their full capacity, so it will require a lot of work to bring them back to their intended abilities, if they can be brought back at all. It may be a long road for my little first grader, and I am sad that I am was not there yesterday, today, or tomorrow, but I must put it all in perspective.
Two children I know personally have spent the last few months without their mother, who is undergoing cancer treatment in the states, and many Japanese do not even know where their children or parents are right now. I also personally know children at our center who rarely see their mothers because they are deployed away from them. My son is surrounded by his dad's family right now, and my parents are only about two hours away and will be visiting him on Saturday after the surgery on Friday, so he is not alone. He has mother figures to comfort him, and I will be there soon. And I must not forget my first born who needs a mother just a much as the one going through surgery. Sweet Pea needs for his life to stay stable, structured, and peaceful in the midst of the changes he's experiencing being away from dad and brother and being nervous for Mr. Gant as well. So, Thursday's troubling thoughts will merge into Friday's freedom from worry as I look forward to calling my baby again and hearing his sweet voice before he takes the next step of a journey only he can fully take anyway. I certainly can't get my eye fixed for him, so I'll say a prayer and ask you to say one too that where he once was blind, he'll be able to see again, and I'll let you know his future as we progress.
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