“But we have
this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power
will be of God and not from ourselves.” 2 Corinthians 4:7
The very moment I think I have it all
figured out, that I know how to be a good parent, that I know something about
being a manager of people, that I know how to do anything really is the moment
God brings humility to me. I am but an
earthen vessel, but a clay pot, not yet even fired, but being continually
shaped into what God would have me to be, a treasure, and I am so far from
being finished yet. This week I thought
I had it all figured out, that I knew better than my husband how to raise my
own child, and I didn’t hesitate to let him know that. Then, amazingly to me (even
though it is not the first time He has amazed me with how He works in our lives),
God revealed to me something in my son that I had been blind to in my trying to
protect him from the fires of life, trying to ensure that he would choose our
family and the lessons my husband and I want to teach him over anything or
anyone else. I was so blinded by these misplaced goals that I had been missing
something vitally important in making the best decisions in regards to his care
and life. And my dear husband, in his gentle, yet firm manner, confirmed what
God was speaking to me through my baby, and I realized how selfish and how
misguided I was to think I had all the right answers or that I really knew what
was truly best for him and not just me. He revealed to me through those I am
closest to how much I was depending on people and myself to make choices about
our lives that I should have been entrusting God to take over. There’s something I’ve know about my son for
awhile now, but I was not willing to accept at his tender age…There are some
hard lessons for him ahead, and these lessons are, unfortunately, going to come
to him earlier than to most children, and what I know about him is that he has
to learn these lessons himself, by experiencing them, just as I did. I wanted to protect him from that so much
that I was determined to do whatever I could to stop it, but that’s not God’s
plan. God has been teaching me for
several years now how to let go, and every time I think I’m ready to fully
embrace that lesson, He shows me how far I still am from it, and it’s these
moments that He uses to guide me to His will and His way. I know much of what I have written here may
seem vague and even dire to those reading it who are not aware of the situation
I am referring to right now, but the lesson is the same no matter what the
circumstances, dire or merely unpleasant and inconvenient. If you
are truly seeking God’s will for your life and your motives are in the right
place, God will show you where you are in error, He will reshape and remold
you, bit by bit, until you are ready for the fire. What’s most important to take away from this
is the be open to God, to be open to the Potter’s hands shaping your life, your
heart, your family in the way that He would have it to go; don’t turn away;
don’t run from the pain it may cause when He is pushing you in directions you
are not comfortable in, but yield instead to His hands, to His will, so that
you may become a beautiful and useful vessel in this world, a treasure, not
simply a pile of wet clay.
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