“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does
not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13:4-8
One year ago
today on July 7, 2012, God blessed me with a second chance to make my little
girl dreams come true. I was married
pretty young for my generation. At 22, I really didn’t know much about what it took
to be in love long term. I didn’t even know what I really wanted from life. I
had not yet grown into the woman God intended for me to be before I decided to
link who I was to another person whom I didn’t really know all that well. It turned out to be a difficult learning
experience for me and for my children, another refinement by fire that God
allowed, but not without it’s own share of silver linings, such as the two
beautiful children he created through that marriage. It’s definitely not the way I would have
chosen to build a family in an ideal world, and it certainly wasn’t the path I
dreamed my life would take when I was a young girl, but we don’t live in a
perfect world, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without those difficult
experiences and neither would my boys. I
don’t wish divorce on anyone. It’s by far, in my opinion, one of the most
devastating things that can happen to any relationship or family in today’s
world. Unfortunately, it happens way too
often, but one of the most amazing things God does through divorce, death,
near-misses, and so many other tragic events that happen to us as we travel
through life, is offer us second chances.
I grew up in the
church. I read and heard numerous sermons over the years focused on the famous
1 Corinthians 12 passage about love from the Bible, but I never lived them or
knew anyone on this earth who could show me how to live them until I met the
man I married just one year ago today.
We’ve known each other for about 6 years now, and he is still patient with
me. He is kind, never have I seen him envious nor boastful or proud. Rude is
not something he would know how to be and serving himself is the last thing on
his mind. He may occasionally be easily angered by an unlucky day and/or at
himself, but never at me. Wrongs, we do not go back and rehash anything we have
said or done to hurt each other when upset.
We start fresh every day. Truth….(that
is something which was missing from my last marriage, and so it’s something
more important than ever to me now)…I know no one more truthful or genuine than
him. Protected I always feel when he is with me. Hope, perseverance, isn’t that
what love is all about after all? Hope
that we will always be together and love each other just as much as we do now.
Perseverance to ensure that’s exactly what happens. Love never fails…it’s not
easy….the passage never says it’s easy, but what it does say to me is that it
never gives up either. It perseveres; it makes the choice to wake up each day
and continue loving in this unconditional, unselfish way.
My
husband and I are not perfect people, and I’m not saying we never get annoyed
or exchange upset or unkind words when we’re tired or frustrated with a
situation, but loving each other through all that just comes easy. I think
that’s how you tell it’s right…when the attributes of love described in the
passage above just come naturally with that person, even when you’ve recently
been upset or when you don’t think exactly the same way about an issue. You
love each other through it because you have mutual respect for who that person
is overall and to you. It wasn’t
anywhere near easy for me the first time. I thought what I had found was love,
but I didn’t understand anything about love then. I was in it for selfish reasons
that make no sense to me now that I am a stronger, wiser woman, and I can’t
thank God enough for giving me a second chance to make it right this time and
find the kind of love He intended for us to experience in life. I don’t deserve
the kind of love my darling husband provides me with on a daily basis, but
that’s the beauty of God. He led me to my husband and gave him to me to love and
experience his love anyway. It is in that same way that God loves all of us,
despite all our flaws and daily mistakes. God loves us through it and gives us
as many chances as we need to get it right.
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