January 7: Writing Prompt #7-Helpless

Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?

     The last time I felt helpless was from February 14-March 26, 2014.  When we left Kwajalein for WA, I had a “tentative” job offer on base here, pending successful background clearances (which are required to work with children) and verification and completion of the vast amounts of paperwork that always seem to accompany government operations and employment.  J Between the day we arrived here (Valentine’s Day) and the end of March was over 6 weeks of “waiting” to know FOR SURE I would actually be employed in the small town we knew nothing about (and knew no one closer than a 3+ hour drive away) and had just relocated our entire lives to for my “tentative” job.  It got so bad at one point that I was actually looking for other jobs, and I was only about a day away from applying for one when I finally received confirmation that I would start work. 

     As far as what I did about this helpless situation, I made sure there was nothing else I could physically do (paperwork wise) to assist in the process (which meant lots of follow-up e-mails and phone calls to verify they had everything they needed from me), and I focused on helping my family settle into our new home.  Turns out, it took about 6 weeks to figure it all out, including purchasing a car, setting up the apartment with what we needed, receiving our shipment of goods from Kwajalein (which entailed unpacking it, then repacking what we did not need right away-about ½ of the boxes- and could not fit in our temporary apartment and then lugging it back down 3 flights of stairs into a moving truck to deliver to our storage unit nearby-WHEW!), and sorting out the delivery of my 17 year old stored items in AL to my parent’s house.  Not to mention, we also had the task of helping our youngest son get adjusted to a new school and life apart from everything he’s ever known. 

     So, I didn’t have much time to settle into the “helplessness,” and believe me, I can definitely throw a really good “pity party” when I feel out of control of my life and down in the dumps, but that’s one thing my experiences the last 7 years have taught me, how to LET GO! "Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span? If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?” Luke 12: 24-26 I am so thankful for this lesson from God.  Worrying does not give me any more control. All it does is stress me and everyone else around me out!! I felt confident this is where God was directing us to be, so I just had to continue to believe that He was going to work all the rest out, and He did.  I’m not going to say I didn’t have my moments of “freaking out,” but compared to how I would have responded a decade ago, I have made AMAZING progress…I mean, God has made amazing progress in me…As one of my favorite childhood church songs goes: “He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be.” J