July 9: Writing Prompt #190-Keep Out

Who is the one person you hope isn’t reading your blog? Why?

Truly, I wouldn’t be posting this blog for all to see publicly and especially on Facebook daily if there was anyone I didn’t feel comfortable with reading my blog.  I decided a long time ago when I started blogging that I would not be afraid to be me and share my thoughts, and over the years I’ve become more and more bold in that effort than I was at the start.

If I am completely transparent, I will say that back in 2010, I didn’t want my ex or anybody that was close enough to him to choose to share it to read my blog, but only because it would expose me, make me even more vulnerable to their scrutiny than I already was. And because I was afraid of what they would think, how they would interpret my feelings and opinions, and then spin them to make me look like a jerk or a crybaby and then share THAT with the entire tiny island we all lived on together at the time. 

But today, well, it’s not that I don’t CARE what others think. It’s just that I am not going to let the way I feel about myself be affected by the way others think or feel, so as I would say to the kids who are requesting specific parts of the birthday cake, this is how it is with me, “you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.”  If you do have a problem with me, well, I will still be kind toward you and treat you no different than anyone else, but we will probably not hang out and certainly not be the best of friends, but there’s no reason not to be cordial.  I will simply try to do right by you as I hope you would do with me, like me or not and vice versa. 

So, blog readers, this is me, raw and unfettered, sharing myself as I am, flaws and all.  You are all invited to share in my experiences, but you certainly don’t have to.  I learned after many painful years that happiness in not found in what someone else thinks of me or in their happiness. I make my choice daily to find contentment in my life as it is and not depending on if my husband, co-workers, or friends are happy.  I am here for them and will be a sounding board, supporter, and an encourager, but I will not let them change who I am or bring me down. Negativity and fear abound in this world, but we do not have to let it take over our hearts and minds. Happiness is found in fulfilling our purpose in life and mine is to share my story, give 100% to what I do each day, and love others with all that is in me, especially my family and friends.