October 22: Writing Prompt #295-Sad but True

Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’ve ever gotten. Does it still apply?

This was not only difficult to hear, but is very difficult to write about, so bear with me. I will do my best to explain it with care. It was not a direct spoken criticism to me, but it was a criticism, and a mistake I freely own.  During one of my last years on the island, I spoke openly in a time of tremendous stress at the workplace around my culturally diverse co-workers.  They were all from the same culture, but it was not the same as mine.  I had lived and worked around them for so many years, I mistakenly thought I could speak my mind about things within their culture that I felt were injustices toward them; however, I had not yet considered what I thought was happening from their perspective.  In fact, I completely misunderstood how my frustrations would come across to them. Almost immediately upon hearing that I had offended co-workers, who I also considered my friends, I attempted to correct it by explaining myself in writing to them (because, after all, I am usually better able to express myself appropriately-especially when it might be an emotional subject-by writing a letter). This turned out to be the worst thing I could have done.  I should have gone to them in person to apologize and simply taken responsibility for my gross error.  Instead, I tried to justify and explain why I said what I said, while again, not putting myself in their shoes to understand it from their perspective.  Bottom line, I was criticized for being culturally insensitive, and I felt and still feel quite ashamed for not handling myself more professionally when I was frustrated and for not being more sensitive to my co-workers. I never intended to be insensitive or criticize their culture. I actually said it out of my love for them and their culture, wishing to see the betterment of their lives overall. The problem with that was that my idea of a better life was not the same as theirs.  Does this criticism still apply? I hope not. I am much more conscious of what I say and how I say it to everyone now. I try to learn as much as I can about other cultures (as I always have before), but more than that, I try to see their lives and cultures from their hearts and minds, not simply my own and respect their cultures for all that they are, positive and negative included. After all, my American culture is certainly not perfect either, but it is my heritage.