The one other thing I remembered today that former Kwajalein residents say they miss when they leave is the sunsets. Many people have regularly scheduled evenings where they head down to Emon Beach to have a glass a wine and watch the sunset from their beach chairs. Often, when I take a walk or run around the perimeter or the island, I see residents, TDY (temporary duty) personnel, and/or visitors sitting on the benches placed strategically around the coastal areas enjoying the view at dusk. It is a beautiful sight and a truly unique place to live, and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to experience it all these years. I never could have imagined this life for myself, and certainly never thought I’d still be here 13 years after stepping off that plane into the strong trade winds and wave of heat brushing across my cheeks. In many ways my childhood ended here and my adult life began, and I’ve experienced a number of wonderful events as well as growing pains while maturing as an adult on this atoll.
Because of our isolation and lack of many of the luxuries of life in the states, it becomes also a hobby for some or at least a bad habit to focus on the negatives of life here. Many an afternoon in the store, I’ve heard these words, “Of course they don’t have (pick any random grocery story item) to make the dish I planned for tonight. How hard is it to keep (various items that are periodically out of stock) on the shelves?” Or change it to, “I can’t even fix my bike because they don’t have the parts I need.” Or, most recently, “I can’t go fishing or diving this weekend because we are not allowed to go ocean side due to some problem with the SAR (search and rescue) boat.”
These kinds of quality of life problems seem petty when you live stateside. The stores have so much stuff in the U.S., and it’s hard for a Kwajalein resident to even choose a cereal or brand of yogurt because there are so many choices that we don’t have available to us in the islands. There’s basically one brand of each product on the shelves in the one grocery store on island, which more times than not, doesn’t even have what you went there to purchase. In fact, those who cook regularly here have learned how to be creative and supplement or substitute one ingredient for another. For us, it’s not petty, and it becomes a very big deal, for some more than others. The problem I find personally with allowing myself to get caught up in the habit of focusing on the negatives is that is ruins the good things about living here too because all you can think about is what you don’t have instead of focusing on the positives of what you do have.
That’s one of the good things about living here so long, that I have found I don’t actually “need” all those missing items that once were so important. I admit, it’s difficult to come back from a long vacation like the 6 week one we just finished and adjust again to the “not haves” when you just want to go to the store and pick out some good, fresh produce for a salad or a ripe watermelon to picnic with your friends at the beach. It’s hard to come back to a tiny bachelor quarters dorm room with no kitchen to speak of and no place for family and friends to visit. But, you have to look at what you do have, no bills to speak of, three meals a day provided as part of your contract at the chow hall, and more importantly, a magnificent ocean to explore and play in, a group of family like friends who will do anything for you and are always just around the corner when you need them, a safe environment where you can literally leave your wallet on the bar or boxes of mail and purchases from the store in your bike burley and not worry about anyone taking them, and fantastic sunsets almost every night just a short walk or bike ride from your door. Thirteen years on an atoll is not such a bad place to go through the ups and downs of life.
In fact, I’m lucky to still be here while others only wish they could move back out like the man we met at a water park in Alabama this summer who graduated from high school out here, met his wife, and had his first child on the atoll and couldn’t stop asking questions about it and expressing his interest in coming back out if he could. Pretty lucky alright, to get a chance to dive all the wrecks from the war that most divers never have access to due to the secure nature of the bases here, and to raise my boys their first few years of life without having to worry about them being kidnapped or run over by a car in the street or any number of other dangerous things that parents have to watch out for in the states.
These are the things that I have to remember on those days when the negatives appear to outweigh the positives. Making the most of where you are at, being content in all circumstances, and remembering it’s all a matter of perspective helps a lot. The one thing I do have control over is what this place, this atoll, will be and mean for me when I look back at my time here. I choose whether or not I’m going to enjoy the day no matter what and make memories that I will cherish by focusing on the good things about life on the atoll. Some days that may mean taking the time to go see the sunset or making it a personal challenge to create a new dish out of what’s available at the store, or just spending some time reflecting upon why I chose to move here and stay so long in the first place and put in all in perspective.
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