Over the last 2 plus years, I have moved around a lot from job to job. This is mostly because of budget cuts within the company and government, but it is also in an effort to obtain a position that would rate housing for my boys and me. This is an elusive goal because just as the budget is being cut, so are housing positions. They are harder and harder to come by. Every time I think I’ve tried all I can to move into a position to provide better for my children, I discover another potential opportunity, and I go for it, only to be shot down over and over again. It’s probably kind of like those looking for employment in the states right now with the economy so bad, one rejection letter after another, so to speak. Today, I was making a rather discouraging comment to my boyfriend about not wanting to put myself through the rejection phase anymore, and he said, “then don’t,” and my immediate gut reaction was, “well, that’s not going to happen. I have to keep trying, for my kids and for us.” I was surprised that there was absolutely no hesitation for me in that decision. How could I ever stop trying to make life better and easier for those I love most? Love is such a powerful force and motivator. So, here I am, waiting it out once again, seeing what God has in store for me tomorrow and praying He’ll be able to sustain me until the time comes for change.
Putting it all in perspective, it’s not such a bad place to wait it out. I mean, the major difference between living on an island and living in the states is that time is on your side. Everything runs on island time, and there’s plenty of it: time to reflect on life, time to enjoy life, time to wait at the store for your groceries, although that wait is nothing compared to wait time in the states for almost anything. I have more time than usual right now due to summer break at school, and I do wonder how I will have time to keep up this journal every day when life really kicks back in for me next week with work duties, child care responsibilities, and extra curricular activities, but honestly, on a daily basis, we have a “Jimmy Buffett” type lifestyle on the atoll.
One of our biggest troubles is blowing out a flip flop, to which my typical ribbing question is, of course, “did you step on a pop top?” In fact, a friend of mine blew one out just the other day, and she was cruising around with two different shoes, one borrowed from a kind friend who was walking around without one at all. Even the kids at school suffer from this quite often. I’ve had many a child come up to me on the playground with an awkward high step walk from trying to hold their flip-flop on and telling me, “My shoe broke.” Several parents have been called to run home and get another pair of shoes for their child because it’s only a short bike ride home and over to the school. I’ve done it myself for my son, in fact. Tough life, huh? Life on an island is truly a dream, most days. While sailing recently, I mentioned to a friend who was lounging on the deck of the ship resting her eyes, how difficult we had it as I sat in my “Princess” chair behind the wheel and out of the way of the crew’s work. She agreed, sarcastically, of course.
I see my boys every day before and after school in my classroom and at least every other weekend when I get to take them snorkeling, fishing, and camping on Roi, and I am able to be there for every school and sporting event due to my work schedule, which is the same as their school schedule, and I am able to save money for their futures without having to worry about the bills I’d have in the states with a house, car, etc...so if one of the worse problems I can think of is “blowing out a flip-flop,” life is pretty good. Yes, I’ll still try for “the American dream” of a home with my kids on this wonderful island, but I’ll take this life for awhile longer rather than the hardships of bills, lack of employment opportunities, traffic, and crime ever present stateside. In fact, last night, I soothed my “blown out flip flop” worries with a “cheeseburger in paradise.” My boyfriend made us some Swiss mushroom “Bubba Burgers” with an extra dose of delicious fat, like the old style burgers used to always contain. Might as well enjoy the atoll while I can because you never know what tomorrow will hold.
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