Tonight, I am faced with making a risky choice. This choice entails a possible career transfer to another department where I will no longer be on the same daily schedule as my children and where I will no longer enjoy a teacher’s life of holiday breaks and paid summer vacations for 2 ½ months, but rather, I’ll have much longer hours and less breaks and holidays to enjoy with my boys. There are benefits to this job change. I have worked in the department before, so it will be fairly simple to get back up to speed; it’s definitely a step-up career and finance wise, and it’s a teaching job more closely related to the majority of my experience over the years. So, it has both advantages and disadvantages, I suppose, but any more from a place you are perfectly comfortable involves risk.
I look forward to the challenge, and in many ways, I am excited to go back and have a chance to work at a higher level where I can possibly make positive changes and be a welcome addition with colleagues I already know and enjoy being around. The difficult part is this: my resume will now contain 6 different full time jobs that I have held over less than 5 years. This has not entirely been my choice each time as several of these positions were completely cut due to budget, and others were (as this possible transfer is) a step up in my career or at least a step closer to my overall training and experience. I worry though about how this will look when I try to get a job in the states. Will I be seen as flighty or possibly a risk for another company or education system to take on since I appear to never last in a job much more than one year? I don’t know. At this point, it may be a risk I have to take.
Also, I do love my current position. I love being so much a part of my kids’ school day; I love working with such a fabulous and talented group of teachers (they really are quite amazing, and I’ve learned so much from all of them), and I love teaching and getting to know all the kids, period.
So, why would I even take the risk? Because it may mean a place of my own with my children. It may mean the ability to get a better job when it’s time to move home. Bottom line, it may mean a better life for my family overall, so how can I turn it down, even though I have no true guarantee it will result in any of these things. It’s a crack, a chink in the armor, a glimmer of hope, and that’s all it is right now. But, it all goes back to what we all do for those we love, especially our children. In many ways, they push us to our limits, but I believe it’s almost always in a good way if we choose to grow and learn from it. In order to be able to stay on the atoll with them and provide everything I can for my kids, I have stretched outside my comfort zone, and I have discovered that I am so much stronger than I ever knew I could be. I have become much more confident in my abilities professionally and in my self personally, and all because I wanted to be there for my kids in every way I can. So, tomorrow, I will make a risky choice, preferring to call it a step of faith and say my prayers that it will be the best choice toward reaching my ever present goal of being the best mom I can be for my boys. Wish me luck! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment