Have you
ever had a mentor? What was the greatest lesson you learned from him or her?
Not long
after I moved to Kwajalein, I read a verse in the Bible about older women
mentoring younger women (“Older
women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much
wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love
their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home,
kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be
reviled.” Titus 2:3-5) and as I had just left everything and everyone I had
ever known back in Alabama to get married and move to the island, including my
church friends and support system, I prayed for God to bring someone into my
life to be my friend, someone who could mentor me, and he sent me Kay. I can’t even express how much the years we
had together meant to me. She moved not
long after I had my first child, but those first 3-4 years were so much better
because of her. She was a like-minded
support for me in my early years of marriage and my link to the Christian walk
I had grown up in and had trouble (at first) finding a connection to at the one
Protestant chapel on the base.
We taught
self-confrontation courses together (a life changing study with a focus on
judging ourselves first-…"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the
speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? "You hypocrite,
first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take
the speck out of your brother's eye. Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do
not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet,
and turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:4-6) And mainly she was my first and
only connection in those early, early years.
It was not as easy for me to connect with others on a personal level at
that time in my life. I was very shy, quiet, and had very little self-confidence. I did not easily confide in others then, but
I immediately fell into my comfort zone with Kay.
The
greatest lesson I learned from her was to be myself without fear of judgment,
particularly in the area of my beliefs, but also in general. I would never
force my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or values on anyone else, but in my 20’s
I was not even comfortable being open with who I was and how I believed at that
time. I accepted others for who they
were, but I didn’t accept myself and certainly wouldn’t have stood up for
myself if necessary. Now, I am stronger,
wiser, and I am not afraid to tell you who I am, to share my vulnerabilities,
my faults, my hypocrisies, wrong judgments about others, and my many mistakes.
I also learned from my mentor that it was not about me…nothing is really about
me.
My
only other surreal experience in my life was during these years with my
Kay. I was getting ready to lead one of
my self-confrontation classes, and I had not prepared for it, AT ALL. This is
not the type of class you can wing. You have to do your homework in order to
work through the material with others.
So, I did the only thing I could do…I prayed. I prayed that God would
give me the words, that He would work through me because I certainly could not do
it that night. I had nothing to give my students. When I started class, it was
like someone else took over. God led me through the whole thing, and I take NO
CREDIT for it. What happened was
completely the doings of a higher being.
I didn’t know what to say, but the words were provided to me, and it was
the best class I ever led, still to this day.
It showed me that my purpose in this world is not about me. It’s about
allowing my experiences, my God, my life to serve others in whatever way I can.
Whether I am an encourager, a bright smile in an otherwise terrible day,
someone who can provide a meal, be a babysitter, or help a child with their
homework, it doesn’t matter as long as I am serving someone else and helping
them through their day, week, or month.
You
may not believe in God, and I hope not to offend any of my readers with this
blog and its contents. It’s not meant for that, but thanks to my mentor, I will
not be afraid to share my life with you all in this way, and God has always
been a huge part of it for me. We all
need someone or something to get us through this crazy life, and for me, it’s
Him and the blessings of this life He’s provided me that I certainly don’t
deserve, but I am thankful for. Love and
hugs to all my readers! No matter what you believe, I love you all very, very
much!
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