October 14, 2010-The Challenge of Life

    

     Today at the local convenience store, I saw a friend who has been off island for quite some time.  I immediately called her name and headed over to give her a long overdue hug. After the “long time no sees,” we stood in line at the register to catch up on life for a minute.  The first question she asked me was “Has life given you any new challenges this year?”  Now granted, she’s a close enough friend to know where life has taken me during my time on the island, but I thought that was such an intriguing way to pose the usual “How are you?” question.  It made me really think about how to answer instead of just saying, “Fine” or “Good” in the tradition of typical small talk that’s not truly aimed at finding out how you really are.  I was not surprised by her question as she’s always been one of those friends who lives her life from a deeper level, and that’s one of the things I love most about her.  What was nice is that she actually went to the trouble to inquire how I am.  Her husband is the same way, and I’m not one to avoid answering questions or to give the easiest and quickest reply, so I laid it out there.

        First off, I said, “always,” meaning every year is filled with its own challenges. Life itself is the biggest challenge of all. Then, I told them briefly about my job change, which is at least the third in as many years, and why I changed jobs, which was not just for the love of it, but also for the possibility of finally being granted a home to stay in with my children, and I told them about the transition of having my ex-husband get remarried to a good friend of mine from the past and how that has not been the most comfortable change, but it’s all part of life.  
     What’s funny is that this is not the first time I’ve been approached this week by friends asking how things are going. I seem to be getting that a lot lately.  And that’s okay. It is a small island, and most people already know of my challenges without even asking, but it’s still nice to have someone show that concern now and again and not be afraid to speak to me about it.  For the friends who have done that, I know it’s all been out of genuine concern and good wishes for the best for the boys and me.  For that, I am most grateful today, grateful that there are people here who have a heart for others, who are more concerned with seeing good people excel and thrive than whether or not the person down the street is talking bad about them or whether the powers that be on island help ensure they have all their special needs met.  There are selfish people everywhere, but sometimes I think living on an atoll brings the bad traits to the forefront more due to the isolation and the feel that everyone is family, and we can act however we want. 
       I teach my own kids and the kids I work with the Golden Rule which is “Do unto others as you would have done to you” or in their words, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” And I try to follow this myself in every day life.  I don’t always succeed, but I try.  What’s the point of holding grudges or judging others when you don’t know what it is to live their life? How would you want them to treat you in the same situation? It’s so important to look at things from all perspectives, and it’s a lesson I have to remind myself of daily at times.  I’m not perfect, but I know what it is to live the challenge of life, and it’s so much better when we support and love each other than when we work against each other.  So, thank you, my friends who have taken the time to get to know me and face the challenges of life with me.  Know that I am here for you whenever you need a hug, a listening ear, or just a hand to hold and not feel alone.  :)