Friday, November 27, 2015

November 27: Writing Prompt #331-Fear Factor

People are afraid of all kinds of things: spiders, the dark, or being enclosed in small spaces. Tell us about your greatest fear — rational or irrational.
My greatest fear? Failing as a mom.  Rational or irrational?  Well, I think mostly it’s an irrational fear, but there’s always a bit of truth to our fears.  I struggled with my boys when they were toddlers, not having any family nearby and a husband who was at work a lot and emotionally unavailable to me when I needed him most. Mentally and because of my lack of experience with children at the time, I had a hard time being the best I could be for them when I was going through so much in the years before my divorce from their dad. Then, there’s all the decisions after the divorce in terms of custody and differences in how they are being raised when they are with mom versus dad, and it’s certainly not been an ideal situation for them to grow up in. 
Fortunately, I began to realize, when I entered the career world of childcare when the boys were 3 and 5, that I knew so little about being a parent. Thankfully, I learned so much about how to guide them and about their growth and development through the training I was required to complete for my job as a school age care program instructor, but was it too late?  I hope not. Don’t get me wrong, my boys are both very good boys, but I don’t take much credit for that. I think I’ve just been pretty lucky and blessed to have a God and His Angels watching over them since they were born. 
Having been a child of a dysfunctional family myself, I know the toll it takes on young ones, and I know that my parents each did the very best they could with where they were in life at any given moment while raising us, just as I did.  But, I can’t help but feel that maybe I screwed up one too many times along the way, and I can only hope and pray that they forget about the times I yelled too loudly or hurt them with my rash, emotional words of the moment. I can only hope and pray that they forgive the fact that their parents split up early in their lives, and that they ended up in two different homes being raised away from each other for a majority of their short childhood.  I can only hope that my inadequacies as a mother do not translate to them feeling any less loved, blessed, or confident in the wonderful young men they are becoming and in knowing that God has an awesome, perfect plan for them, no matter their imperfect upbringing and imperfect parents.

As long as they know that their Creator loves them more than anyone else in their life ever could, I hope and pray that will be enough.  Love covers all else, right? That’s what I believe at least. I hope if they learn nothing else from their childhood at home with me that they know LOVE and what it really is, not because of me, but because God speaks that into their hearts as He has mine.

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